Whitney Port has something City to say

December 23rd, 2008 // 32 Comments

Whitney Port is moving on from The Hills to spread her wings on her own show, The City (please, hold your tears; your grief can be expressed at WhitneyPort.com), which will chronicle her adventures as she takes up in New York City. What will she do there? Judging from that thing that’s perched on her head, she’ll probably fight crime. At least that’s what I would do. You can bet I’d strike fear into the hearts of New York’s hardened criminals, too, in my Rainbow Brite underoos as I patrolled the streets with my Plunger of Justice. Whitney probably has something similarly cool up her sleeve. At any rate, she promises that people will get to see “the real me.” *Sniff*; someday people will see the real me, too. If they know what’s good for them.

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. Guy

    Damn Hippy, also, first.

  2. Scrodo

    Whatever….

  3. Pathetic Worm

    Whitey Port smells of cinnamon and wet dog.

  4. Demise

    Whitney who???

  5. Advertorial Crew

    So, what exactly is an ‘Advertorial’? I mean, the CHICKDOWNTOWN crap is one thing, but posting these is a bit of a bruising to my already ugly synapsis drain.

  6. Albert Alfons Barlemann

    I seen this chick go down on a K-Mart employee yesterday. Talk about blue light special

  7. The blonde chick with the bowl cut in this awful chickdowntownTV ad looks like she’s been downtown and violated

  8. testing

    I don’t watch, but isn’t this girl known as the boring one on The Hills? At least Lauren Conrad is pretty, this girl looks mousey and annoying

  9. Funeral Guy

    Dude, why are you whoring out your website to these loser shows?

  10. Whitney

    Whitney Port is not attractive.

  11. Who Da Fuck?

    Who the fuck is that bitch?

  12. Danklin24klin24

    I dont even know this chick and i hate her already because she was on The Hills. I can already tell you what kind of show this is going to be. Rich spoiled brat gets a loft apartment in the city, camera crew follows her around while she shops and goes for “job interviews” all of which she’ll be miraculously be late for or just mess up entirely. The next part of the show will feature her throwing parties where her rich bitch friends will talk about nonsense in a hot tub while drinking drinks that are as large as Whitney’s face. She’ll then hook up with random guys at said parties and have 30 pregnancy scares all in the course of a season.

    Yup, that about sums up this piece of shit show.

  13. I wonder if Whitney will get a fake boyfriend and a fake job. While this may sound lame, I think there is something voyeuristic about viewers who are too lazy to live life away from the couch and would rather watch other real people living life or living a fake life, whatever. Or maybe TV is headed to the Truman show where everyone will be filmed via CCTV but everyone will be just shown sitting on their butts.

  14. Who the hell watches The Hills?

    Fake people pretending to be other fake people? LOL

    -Alice

  15. B

    For fuck’s sake. What is this, a Mad Lib “hip blogger entry”? Insert 80′s reference 1, 80′s reference 2, mention a wacky and inappropriate prop, close with self-deprecating humor and viola, you can be a blogger too!

    Was this written by a committee? Or just someone in marketing who doesn’t actually USE the internet, but has heard it’s popular with the young people, who are a key demo for their insipid excuse for a TV show. This insults the intelligence of everyone who reads it. Every single person who has the misfortune of seeing it, is now dumber for it. A monkey with a typewriter could come up with a better post.

    I hope whoever wrote that drivel reads the comments and understands that they are truly, completely useless, humorless, and the human race would be better off without their tainted DNA clogging up the gene pool. I can’t even think of words strong enough to convey my disgust.

    Anticlown can go fuck itself.

  16. kay

    Who the fell is this girl and why should I care.?
    Please stop posting about know nothing, do nothings who have no redeeming qualities (oh wait that would be most of Hollywood and the fashion industry who are our generations sad excuse for “celebrities”). The Hills, and the fact that people actually watch that kind of drivel, is a perfect example of why America is looked down on by the rest of the world.

  17. twhite

    who the fuck is whitney port?

  18. scabbeus

    These are advertisements for skank whitny and the alternative lifestyle Brody show.

    I predict that she will have a successful transition into porn via a wicked meth addiction. Congrats Whitny, I will definitely support you.

  19. Me

    She’s like a blonde version of Kim Kardashian!!!!!!

  20. Obviously this site is over. This is not funny anymore. I hope they paid you good money for your soul fish.

    The real fish left acouple m nths ago but this is really really bad.

    I am officially finished with this site.

  21. Damn

    STOP POSTING ABOUT THE FUCKING HILLS AND THE CAST OF THE HILLS. JESUS EFFING CHRIST, YOU GUYS KEEP SAYING YOU WON’T POST ABOUT IT OR ABOUT HEIDI HOBAG AND SPENCER FAGATRON ANYMORE AND YET YOU KEEP DOING IT AT LEAST THREE TIMES A WEEK! NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THESE DOUCHEBAGS.

  22. shimmy

    Who the hell does this ugly ass think she is?

    “you can now see the real me” = the most overused phrase by reality TV ‘stars’ who pretend that their shit doesnt stink and that people give a flying fuck about them.
    Which a few people do, unfortunately; which is why shows like these are produced.
    *cries* Whyyyy. WHYYYYYYY

  23. friendlyfires

    1.)Who?
    2.)What?
    3.)Huh?
    4.) I don’t care about this armpit sniffing flower child fighting crime in the Upper East Side with plumbing utensils, I’m more concerned about Mariah Carey’s husband constant attempts at throwing himself under the bus, literally and not succeeding. It’s a curse to be sure. He already threw himself off the Chrysler Building, shouting,”Free at last! Free at last! Thank the Lord A’Mighty Ah’m uh free at last!”, only to be caught in an updraft and gently deposited on the lawn at Battersea Park, sobbing convulsively, cursing God, Jesus and Regis Philbin. He threw himself into the East River tied to a concrete block, only to bounce off a passing manatee on leave from Family Guy. Seth McFarlane is pretty steamed, as that was his most talented manatee/writer. The bus thing ain’t working either. They swerve wildly and crash into nearby Starbucks or Hardees or Chock-Full-O-Nuts. Bloomberg is getting pissed. Nick Cannon’s desperate circumstances is causing financial capital and neighborhoods to flee the Big Apple. Bloomberg ordered a missile barrage aimed at the Cannon/Carey domicile but somehow it wound up raining down in Gaza instead. So now Hamas is pissed.

    This what I have to look forward to when Nick “The Stop-Gap” Cannon finally escapes from the witch’s curse and I assume his position. That’s why I need to bang as many of you beautiful broads as possible before my time arrives.

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  25. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz who cares!! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  26. So, uh, they are paying to get flammers now? Cool. What is our take? Personally I think blondie should learn how to live without constant monitoring, but then that might be like taking a sea monkey out of water. They always die, those pour bastard sea monkeys and no matter how long you try to sun tan them they never taste right.

  27. Randal's bisexual male lover

    This bitch is too ugly. I would only fuck her doggy style and then jizz on her Down Syndromesque face.

  28. She's not hot enough.

    This show is gonna fail bad.

  29. no longer a fan

    oh, superficial. i used to laugh with you… now i just cry alone. you can hurt me no longer. goodbye forever!

  30. CARLI

    I need some back up here…………………..is it me or does she look like WIley Wiggins……………..the kid from Dazed and Confused?

  31. Julie Ann

    Okay…who is she…and why do I care that she’s going to “the city”?

  32. I wonder if Whitney to get a fake boyfriend and a fake will work. While it may sound lame, I think audiences are too lazy life living off the couch and would rather watch other people living real life or a fake life, life is something voyeuristic about whatever. Or maybe TV CCTV Truman Show where everyone but everyone will only be shown being filmed by sitting on their butts.

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