Whitney Houston has some issues

March 29th, 2006 // 157 Comments

whitney_houston_issues.jpgWhitney Houston’s sister-in-law Tina Brown says the singer has become a half-toothless crack addict who hangs out in dangerous drug dens and sees “demons” in fits of dope-induced paranoia. Among other things, Tina claims that: Whitney hallucinates and sees “demons” when she’s high * She bites and beats herself black-and-blue but blames the “Devil” for the injuries * Whitney smoked crack on the way to drug rehab meetings * Whitney loses her $6,000 set of false teeth when she’s high and once appeared toothless, scaring the kids at her niece’s school * Whitney smokes as much as an “eight-ball” (1/8 of an ounce) of crack at a time, mixing it with marijuana encased in a cigar wrapper * A drug dealer called Bobby Brown and ordered him to remove the paranoid and out-of-control Whitney from his crack house, saying “come get your wife. I’m sick of this bitch.”

Getting kicked out of a crack house probably isn’t a good sign. Neither is looking like the world’s homeliest raccoon. This girl needs some help. Help from a good friend. A good friend named crack.

UPDATE: The National Enquirer has some photos of Whitney Houston’s totally awesome drug dens and they’re as wonderfully charming as you thought they were.




  1. shoof

    I think she’s surpassed Bobby in the scary-ness dept.

  2. fanie

    I don’t even know where to begin, when I hear about / see Whitney Houston. I just shudder, and then I am at a loss for words.

  3. Tracie

    Is she Superwoman or something? This behavior has been going on for as long as I can remember with Whitney. Can’t she just hurry up and die already, so we can move on?!

  4. Italian Stallion

    I agree with the Crackhead, I’m sick of this bitch too!!!
    Remember back in the day when everyone felt bad for Whitney because she was with Bobby.
    I believe the tables have turned!!!!

  5. eyespy27

    I Will Always Love You was about crack?! who knew?

    my african american buddy raymond tells me black people always knew she was a drugged out freak but we white folk never paid attention. i don’t know if thats true… i’m just sayin’.

  6. InsomniActress

    I wanna dance with somebody
    I wanna feel the heat with somebody

    Oh yeah. She’s been invoking the demons for years.

  7. PinkRose

    I use to love Whitney. Not the “crack addict” Whitney, but the sweet Whitney of the 80′s. The why Mrs.Brown is now is just plain sad. Even jokes about her aren’t even funny anymore.

  8. jugsgirl

    I wouldn’t hit it

  9. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    eyespy, I did not know white folks were so clueless which kinda scares me – maybe they think all black people act like crackheads, or, perhaps, maybe they were too busy watching Friends and ironing their Klansmen robes to notice. Because those things wrinkle like the dickens.

  10. Obadiah


    It’s nice to know that she at least has the presence of mind to put a diaper on (after she wets herself, of course) I wonder if she uses Pampers or Huggies?

  11. flamarkel

    Yet another story about a toothless, crack-addicted, demon-seeing celebrity. When are you guys gonna find something interesting to write about, like Britney’s hangnail?

  12. krisdylee

    she should sprinkle some white powder on her nose and ask “got crack?”… well, she IS the poster child of being a crackhead, right?

  13. You don’t need Bobby Whitney, Crack loves you, Crack won’t cheat on you…thats right, crack is ALWAYS there for you…..thats right, just roll it up, like you’re massaging it girl, throw in a little pot…yeah baby, that feels SO good to crack..ahhhh, now let crack take all your troubles away…along with your teeth and your career, Oh Wait! Are those demons?!!?!? Run bitch Run!!!!

  14. Todd

    I believe that crackheads are our future…

  15. BEAM

    #9 “I did not know white folks were so clueless ”

    We are! We soooo are!

  16. Zed

    Not terribly funny that someone so beautiful, talented, and rich has thrown away it all to be wasted 24/7.

    She looks awful and I suppose it won’t be long before we read of her final demise. Sad.

  17. Ms Crackalackin

    Bobby destroyed her. She should never have hooked up with that homely and talentless thug. The devil used him well to get to her and take her down. Who do you think was the crackhead first? I have no doubt it was Bobby. What a sick and twisted relationship! Just end it already!

  18. PapaHotNuts

    She’s still very smart. I ran into her a couple of weeks ago in the projects of lower Atlanta, and she gave the most intriguing speech on the migratory patterns of the coconut. She then put her false teeth in her vagina and squatted over a bag of Funions so she could feed it. She eventually called Elton John the greatest linebacker in the Yankees history and took a massive dump on the fire hydrant, claiming her “chocolate sundae was now ready to eat.” She did all this with a dirty, hole-ridden sock puppet on her hand named Mr. Cletus, whom she tried to masterbate with twice. But he got bit both times ’cause of the teeth in her cooch.
    She sounds perfectly normal to me. I’d hit it.
    With a pick-up.

  19. Grphdesi23

    Compared to Whitney and Bobby, Britney and Kevin look like model parents. Almost.

  20. noone’s going to say it? nobody? *sigh, ok fine…

    “crack is wack”


  21. gogoboots

    Damn she’s scary, there really is no hope for Whitney…

  22. LickyLicky

    So far, you’re winning, Papa.

    How’s your back?

  23. krisdylee

    hey papahotnuts, wanna marry me? and we could live forever in the superficial world, slagging the shit out of these “people”… Mr. and Mrs. Schadenfraude, doncha think?

  24. Jayne

    half toothless?

    I couldn’t read the rest… “half toothless” just rubbed me the odd way.


  25. Jacq

    Papa can you tell we missed you during your hiatus? I don’t think you should marry at all, just keep a trusty harem of faithful posters who follow your every letter and idolize your creativity. You’re a stud here.

    Somewhere Britney Spears is taking notes. Just cause her husband isn’t slack-jawed doesn’t mean this can’t happen to her, too. He does, after all, think he’s white chocolate. What has happened since the “crack is whack” interview? Since when does crack mean awesome and delicious?

  26. playahater101

    I think that is so sad. When a crack dealer from a drug house kicks you out, you know you’ve hit rock bottom. I wonder what’s she’s doing for crack. And why she’s losing her fake teeth. Can you say Gum Jobs???

    Why isn’t Bobby Brown doing anything, especially for the sake of their daughter. Any bets on when she gets pregnant? I say at 15.

  27. Isn’t Death cruel? He must’ve gotten stuck on an elevator listening to Muzak of “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” to be this heartless. Whitney sounds like that hot chick Keenan Ivory Wayans picks up in “I’m Gonna Get You Sucka”, where when he gets her home she’s actually a bald, toothless freak with a prosthetic leg and a fake ass to boot. And people are amazed she sticks with Bobby? Bobby’s the only freak sick enough to climb aboard that shipwreck.

  28. playahater101

    I think the worst part of the story is that she keeps losing her teeth.

    “Umm, yes. Ms. Houston? This is Jim from the crackhouse you were just at all night? We found a set of fake teeth here and think they may be yours. Can you please come and pick them up?”


  29. dee

    Wait, so…. when did…. how did she….? What… *sigh!* wow.

  30. PapaHotNuts

    For those welcoming me back, Thanks- I missed you guys. I’m healing well and I’m already back in the gym, sculpting my God-like body. I plan on staying single, but I have full intentions of whoring myself around. I write for the Louisiana House and Senate, and session started this week. Which means I spend my time taking the words of idiots and trying to make them sound like proposals, laws, by-laws, etc. I love Louisiana politicians. This site is my opportunity to have a good time and it’s no fun without the people who post here. Almost everyone here is more intellectual than the rest of the world- SO ROCK ON!

  31. playahater101

    Oh, PAPA, how we all MISSED you!!!!

  32. miadm2002

    Since Wh is not in shape to help herself, her family should intervene and commit her to a drug rehab facility. This way she cannot just walk out when she wants to.

  33. Mr. Fritz

    Watching Whitney Houston’s slide is like a slow moving snuff film. Anyone else annoyed by that stupid picture of Tori Spelling? I wanna hit her in the face with an iron skillet.

  34. Saucie

    Dear Papa,

    If whoring around is your goal, well I hope you get more ass than a toilet seat. And I mean that sincerely.

  35. Akapee

    This is just too sad. To see one of the greatest singers in human history be slowly destroyed by drug addiction just breaks my heart.

  36. billabong021

    She’s done for, now i just feel sorry for her.

  37. jugsgirl

    Superficial left out the weirdest part – -

    Whitney allegedly “spends her days locked in her bedroom amid piles of garbage, smoking crack, using sex toys to satisfy herself and ignoring personal hygiene.”

    Sex, Drugs, and Pop Music

    What does it mean by ignoring personal hygiene?

    Thats not a pile of garbage – thats Bobby

  38. Hmm, PapaHotNuts, you and I have/had very very similar jobs LOL.

    I believe I wrote months back on this site that Whitney was one step away from sitting on street corners mumbling to herself, scratching her sores…..well all I can say is, “Thats one small step for Whitney, one giant leap for gossip columns”

  39. mamacita


    You have a serious imagination to come up with all that shit in post #18. It was funny as hell, but also reminded me of that seriously schizophrenic book “Pulp” by Charles Bukowski. So, you live in Louisiana??? Represent!!! I live in Mississippi. Our politicians aren’t nearly as entertaining as yours are, though.

  40. ClassicSsuan

    #28…..laugh out loud funny

  41. Lynette Carrington

    I think Whitney has now officially moved up three spots in The Dead Pool for 2006.


  42. DevastatorX

    Normally I wouldn’t resist a chance to crack on her. But this really is very sad.

    Huh-huh, I said “crack.”

  43. Maskatron

    Debroah Wilson’s take on Whitney doesn’t seem so exaggerated these days:


  44. Nimuë LaMer

    Trite, I know, but I have to say it…

    Houston, you have a problem…

  45. Jacq

    #33 – I’m right there with you. Those Tori ads are on almost every page of this week’s Star mag and the commercials are all over E!. I want second ‘crack’ at her. Please leave the nose for me to handle. I bet she spent a lot of money getting it to look not Jewish.

  46. Moon43215

    Don’t worry all…she’ll OD soon and we’ll all be in a better world without her spoiled, talent wasting, sorry excuse for a mother ass in it….so long Whitney…you could have help lift your race up a notch…but instead you help to drag it down with your addictions…

  47. M@ce

    I don’t blame those poor false teeth from taking every opportunity to try and escape from that hideous, sore infested suck-hole.
    Not only is her vile mouth constantly wrapped around the crack pipe she fashioned from an old chicken bone she found in her weave, but in it’s spare time it’s wrapped around Bobby Brown’s canker scarred pudding pop.

  48. CoJo

    #18 – I am I.M.ing your comment to everyone.

    “She then put her false teeth in her vagina and squatted over a bag of Funions so she could feed it.”

    Fucking BRILLIANT!

  49. PapaHotNuts

    Post #47 M@ace:
    That truly paints a picture that will haunt me forever.

  50. playahater101

    #37 “What does it mean by ignoring personal hygiene? ”

    It explains the missing teeth. And probably the funky smell.

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