Christina Aguilera, Whitney Houston Hologram Spit In The Face of God
Because digging up her grave and pissing in it would’ve been too subtle, The Voice arranged for Christina Aguilera to perform with an unholy Whitney Houston hologram, which was set to air next week until Whitney’s estate saw the leaked video yesterday and went “Hell to the fuck no.” TMZ reports:
The duet isn’t going to happen, after all. Sources connected to the deal tell us Whitney’s estate decided to pull the plug once they saw the finished product 2 days ago.
We’re told they weren’t satisfied because the hologram simply “didn’t look like Whitney.” Producers and the estate reps all agreed Christina was flawless, but until technology can do the same for Whitney … no deal.
And by flawless they mean dead enough inside to perform next to a hologram of the deceased like its not affront to God and nature itself. How does that happen?
“Hey, Christina Aguilera. Would you mind singing next to what’s essentially a ghost in exchange for money?”
“Just so we’re clear, the person next to you is dead.”
“Yup, no problem.”
“Alright, then. CRACK OPEN THE GATES OF HELL!”
*Whitney hologram rises from the earth, breaks into “I’m Every Woman”*
And here’s the only acceptable reaction to any of this: