Where Did This Taylor Swift Come From?

November 22nd, 2010 // 161 Comments

Apparently Jake Gyllenhaal really does have magical powers that make women more attractive after sleeping with him, provided you ignore Kirsten Dunst because she’s a bat-person. Anyway, here’s Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards Sunday night where she ditched her usual curls and basically looked the hottest I’ve never even imagined Taylor Swift could look. So, take note, young adult ladies. Having lots of sex right off the bat not only makes you prettier, but prevents you from turning into the dull, lifeless husk more commonly referred to as Carrie Underwood.

Who? Exactly.

Photos: Getty, Splash News, WireImage

superficial

  1. RandaI

    God gave her no breasts and the voice of an angel. Fly high my pretty angel.

    Randal

  2. Cock Dr

    She was due for a makeover.
    Looking good!

    • RS

      Taylor Swift usually looks adorable. In these pics she just looks like a copy of every generic, unremarkable bimbo out there.

      • SLC

        so true, I liked her with curly hair better. now she just looks like she turns her nose up at everyone “below” her. I like the down-to-earth, just-like-everyone-else Taylor

  3. Jay

    she looks like a cleaned up version of Katt Stacks

  4. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Can’t hardly believe it’s the same girl. Amazing. Kudos to the stylist, makeup & wardrobe people who implemented this miracle.

  5. It was the ability to have sex with Kristen Dunst that gave him his magical powers. I’m sure of it.

  6. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    molly
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks way prettier with curly hair
    it detracts from her weird mouth

  7. molly

    she looks way prettier with curly hair
    it detracts from her weird mouth

    • Sheena

      Oh, I dunno… Those long bangs make you think, “How can she see where she’s going with all that hair in her eyes?” And then you start to think that maybe she might fall down a lot because she can’t see, kinda like Gaga does when she wears those stupidly high heels in the airport… And by then you’ve forgotten all about her weird mouth.

    • Robert

      She has the same mouth and nose as that Scarlett something actress.

  8. Hemingway

    You sure that’s not Orianthi?

  9. She is sucking the life force of Christina Aguilera by sucking Jake Gyllenhaal’s dick.

  10. teresa

    MAJOR F*CKING TOOL.

    And for the first time ever, I really suspect fake breasts or chicken cutlets.

  11. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    steve d
    Commented on this photo:

    real doll? mannequin? either way, FIRST!

  12. Meh i like her the old way, looks like meangirls era lindsay here.. Although if it means naked upskirts to follow then im all for it!

  13. CptCreep

    I just can’t get over the fact that her teeth would scrape all the way to the urethra…

  14. ThatBitchFromTheGym

    Awww, she looks beautiful! Congrats to her; she deserves everything she’s got. Who says nice girls finish last? ;)

  15. Lady Blah Blah

    She does look darn cute here, but I doubt that Jake GAYllenhaal had anything to do with it.

  16. jojo

    The dumb is strong in this one.

  17. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    Funeral Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow!!!!!!!!!!

  18. The only men with magic powers to make women prettier or more fashionable are gay. Gyllenhaal was in Brokeback Mountain. I rest my case.

  19. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Everyone concentrates on her looks because she couldn’t sing her way out of a wet paper bag.

    • Can you actually sing your way out of a wet paper bag?
      If so, I’m impressed, that’s ballin’.
      Either way, major upgrade AND you get to look at her and not hear her sing!
      Christmas came early this year.

  20. Funeral Guy

    She looks great. Much better than that hick look.

  21. Parker

    wow, before I just want to bend her over and have anal sex with her but now with this new look I’d be willing to lay her on her back, push her legs behind her ears and buttfuck her while staring into her empty, soulless eyes.

    • Richard McBeef

      when do the sandwiches come in?

      • Parker

        I know if I asked her she’d make plastic, mannequin sandwiches. I’d have to wait till I finished with her and waited for Jessica Alba to storm in, all jealous and everything, kicking Taylor out into the street then demanding that I now owed her two anal adventures whereupon I would suggest a nice turkey sandwich would give me the energy to toss a couple loads in her hot little ass. She’ll know exactly how to make the sandwich cause she’s a mother now and that’s something mothers always learn right off the bat. She’ll take a couple thick slabs of moist white breast meat and layer them on a panini with some Alpine Lace swiss cheese. She’ll wrap it in foil and heat it in a hot oven till the cheese just starts to melt before adding sliced tomatoes, already lightly salted and peppered, and a little mayo. Finally, she’ll slice it in half and bring it to me along with a cold bottle of Newcastle and pull her pants down to wiggle her ass for me while I enjoy my sandwich. It would be much like what a fine summer day is like on the beach in Heaven.

    • You, sir, have a frightening attention to detail. Sounds like a helluva sandwich, though.

  22. KANYEISGAY

    Now she needs to get to work on those vocal chords ,PLEASE GET LESSONS ASAP !

    • cc

      Do you think she is better or worse than Katy Perry. I think Katy is worse. Just wondering.

      • I think Taylor Swift is a great singer. Katy perry is a good singer as well

      • KANYEISGAY

        Some of you must have not ever heard this girl TRY to sing live. She cannot carry a tune in a five gallon bucket. END OF STORY.

      • Russell's Gland

        Lightdragon | November 22, 2010 at 11:06 am

        I think Taylor Swift is a great singer. Katy perry is a good singer as well

        Sorry to break it to you, but you have a tin ear. Saying these things anonymously on a blog is one thing, but don’t say them out loud to anyone. They’ll either laugh in your face or behind your back. Trust me on this one. They’re both very, very, very bad and are being widely ridiculed for a reason.

    • they took out the Randal modes. whaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    Jax
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a wig.

  24. JD

    Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you…I’ll let you finish. But Katy Perry had two of the best titties of all time! Two of the best titties of all time!

  25. cc

    She looks infinitely better with the straight hair and the more subdued eye makeup. Before she looked like a 15 year old trying to look 30.

    I hate you Jake, I really do.

  26. Max

    Everybody who is naturally skinny has small boobs, it’s proportion.
    She is beautiful and talented, boobs are ok.

  27. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    PtC
    Commented on this photo:

    The Madame Tussaud’s wax figure is living the dream.

  28. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    Stay Puft Overlord
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s trying out for Mannequin 3

  29. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Exquisite!

  30. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    ascil
    Commented on this photo:

    Looked like Avril, but taller version. Nice!

  31. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Lady fingers yummy!

  32. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    jime
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks GREAT!!!

  33. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Sexy shot of Swift showcasing sly smirk.

  34. TheDuuuuuude

    I’d give her a mustache ride…

  35. KANYEISGAY

    taylorswiftcantsing.com/

  36. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Taylor with a twinkle in her eye.

  37. Sugar

    She looks like a supermodel. Curly hair is ugly most of the time on white girls.

  38. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Absolutely spectacular!

  39. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    Stay Puft Overlord
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen wax figures look mor elifelike than this.

  40. brian

    She h straightened her hair before about a year ago
    http://justjaredjr.buzznet.com/2009/12/10/taylor-swift-straightens-up/

  41. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    Julie
    Commented on this photo:

    She seriously looks like a posed Barbie Doll here. It’s kind of freaky.

  42. kdiggity

    Bangs suck. When will women learn that they *always* look better without bangs. Even fiveheads like Katy Perry. End the bangs.

  43. devilsrain

    Its about freakin time. She has weird eyebrows that make her look a little off. The bangs do a great job of hiding that. Plus no hooker red lipstick

    1000x better now

    • ohlawd

      ^ Exactly. The bangs look good partially because they cover her eyebrows, which was probably the main reason I didn’t find her that attractive anyways.

  44. Dank

    Fish do you know there’s no way to leave feedback via the mobile site? The link just isn’t there, at least not on my iPod touch. Can you look into that?

    I think Taylor looks way hotter with the curls. But she needs boobs and an ass. She’s way too thin.

    Also Carrie Underwood who?! Yeah right. Carrie > Taylor any day of the week. In hotness and talent.

  45. Lauren

    oh look, an anorexic jessica simpson!!

  46. Dank

    For the record, she has bangs in this picture idiots. When she has curls she doesn’t have bangs. I really think some people dont know what bangs are. You see that in front of her forehead ??? Those are bangs

    • dark

      you are retarded. what are those things on her forehead when her hair is curly? bangs! they are just curled and to the side. shorter than the rest of her hair and still bangs. IDIOT.

  47. Rough'ing with the stars

    Eff you John Mayer!

  48. I think she looks damn hot. When I saw her on stage last night I put my TV on mute and watched her set. She was AMAZING!!! Never heard her sound better!!! (Note sarcasm).
    She does look very good though. Reminds me of Nicole Kidman with straight hair before all the plastic surgery.

    • KANYEISGAY

      That is what I thought about her with the Kidman comparison…..loved the mute comment. She does look better as a consolation prize.

  49. aaron

    Traci Lords?

  50. Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards
    Magz
    Commented on this photo:

    Not too bad for a hussie who sleeps with all of hollywood just so she can write songs and complain about everyone not loving her later.

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