When you think about celebrities roughing up the paparazzi you mostly think about your Sean Penns, Tobey Maguires, or more recently, Mel Gibsons. Well, add blowjob-simulating sparkle-boys to that list because yesterday Adam Lambert surprisingly opened a can in Miami (above) which has him facing battery charges as of this morning. I guess admitting you got your ass kicked by a kid who wears studded codpieces the size of my house is worth the shot at a lucrative lawsuit. Personally, I would’ve just lied to people and said it was my twin brother in these photos. “Who? Me? Ha! You’re hilarious. No way would Gay Freddie Munster get the drop on- Oh, God, a bee! A bee, a bee! *hides under beach towel* Don’t let it ouch me.”
UPDATE: Adam is defending himself on Twitter.
Photos: Splash News
Looks more like a cat fight hahahaha. The cameraman is laughing as Lambert bitch slaps him!!!! Lovers tiff???
Is no one else getting horny from these?! I mean look at pic #16…instaboner!!!!
Homos gone wild
It looks like some sort of gay tickle fight.
I love those!
yeah… that photographer looks really distraught.
Are we sure this is an actual attack and not just an overly aggressive & clumsy expression of attraction?
How could anyone hate gays? The world needs more men wearing sparkles.
Male celebrities going coo coo, female celebrities flashing their privates and going in and out of rehab…everything is just fine in hollyhood land.
Adam sure is shy about those white legs
And those incredibly freckley arms! Yikes!
LMAO. The photographer is pissing himself laughing. Makes me fuckin sick this though, that bender was courting the paps not long ago to get his “fame” and now this. Paps should stick together against people that attack them and NEVER take a picture of them again. Bellends.
Thank you for this!!!!!!!!!!! I’m still dying laughing. Nice laugh on a Friday! Thanks Mr. Fish Man
DO NOT, DO NOT penalize Lambert for the battery!!! If he’d spend any time in the POKEY…. he’d be dead and gone to heaven. Why you think they knickname it “POKEY” poke, poke, poke…
Seriously, the #1 queer deserves punishment! Lock him up with LINDSEY and PARIS and he’d do himself in, comit suicide!!!
The pokey is jail, jail is also where people charged with misdemeanor assaults go. Prison is where prisoner rape happens, not jail. Sorry your asshole got all ichy over nothing Town Cock, but enjoy your Oz dvds
he got his hump on.. how’d that beaner afford that camera?
Poor Adam has been in a sour mood ever since Prince Poppycock failed to close the deal earlier in the week.
Gives new meaning to the term Gay Bashing.
pic #16 is my fav!!
They make a fabulous couple
Nice hat Adam!
It looks like he’s humping his leg. i’m jealous
Adam is so politically incorrect in this attack. What a fag!
These pictures are hilarious!!
I wonder as Adam was bitch slapping this guy if he was singing “Whatda ya want from me? What da ya want from meeeheeeee??”
Looks like they’re gonna get into one serious tickle fight!
gayest thing i’ve ever seen.
Aaaaaaaaahahahahhahahaha
sweet outfit homo. the hat just ties it all together.
I agree with everyone else. Not an attack, unless you call it a sodomy attack of horrific shame. Lambert is trying to rape the guy. In the ass. Cuz he’s gay. And gay dudes love putting their turgid junk in other dude’s assholes.
F**K you dude! YOu don’t Know Adam and you don’t have paparazzis following your pathetic ass around! Oh wait, I know why you said that! You secretly wish it was you that Adam bent over, dont you?
Cuz they’re gay.
Isn’t this what Paparazzi call a “Gang-Bang”? The third person in the pic trying to join in, is that another dude or a butch chick?
I’m calling that it’s an effeminate male.
But that’s Miami Beach so no one can be absolutely sure of gender unless we do a DNA scan.
The paparazzi go way to far. That guy deserved an ARSE whopping.
yeah I just laughed out loud
Er, uhmmm…yeah that was funny.
I love how the photographer is laughing in every pic. Adam Lambert is sooooo threatening!
Great. Just what I needed this morning.
Pictures of a fat freckled homo running around playing grab-ass with another butt jockey.
I didn’t want to eat that Cap’n Crunch anyway.
LMAO
Fruity Sun Hat- Check
Lame ass fingernail polish-Check
Getting a pap bent over so you can live out your secret fantasy- Priceless
Anyway, that Pap seems like he’s laughing at the hold retarded affair!
Kudos for a great post!
Is seriously he pinching him? The guy being assaulted looks like he can’t contain his laughter (or enjoyment). Frolicking at the Beach, la la-la.
looks to me like he’s trying to tickle him. such a fierce attack!
Oh my. I hope he didn’t smear his eyeliner in the scuffle.
To be fair, the Pap was blinded by the black toe polish.
Meh it’s easy to slap around some dude when he is more focused on protecting a camera worth thousands of dollars.
yeeeeah, that pap looks like he’s scared for his life.
Someone wants a picture of him????
the third guy looks like he’s attempting a ballet move
Ghey!
Hillarious! I love Adam to pieces for staging this drama so we could all talk about it! Like this is a real fight, c’mon folks!! Ha ha!
maybe the photographer is an ex-boyfriend of adam. looks more like a lovers fight.
This is 2010 and y’all think your lame anti-gay jokes are funny? smh.
This is 2010 and y’all think your lame stereotypical anti-gay jokes are funny? smh.
we don’t think they’re funny. We just hate fags.
Lambert is excruciatingly gay.
Yes, it is 2010 and yes, fag jokes are still funny
We don’t hate fags. But they can be very, very funny.
or he thought they were getting it on and wanted to make a threebie
Strong tickle-fight
#1 – who is adam lambert anyway
#2 – doesn’t it look like the pap is laughing at him the whole time?
..getting roughed up by a guy rocking the black nail polish on the beach– classic!
he’s trying to hump his leg!!
looks like he’s try’n to grab the pap’s junk!!!
awww look he’s tickling his lover! They’re play fighting LOL
oh look it’s a threesome now!! LOL
Now it looks like Rape and force of entry from behind!! haha