When Adam Lambert Attacks

September 17th, 2010 // 124 Comments

When you think about celebrities roughing up the paparazzi you mostly think about your Sean Penns, Tobey Maguires, or more recently, Mel Gibsons. Well, add blowjob-simulating sparkle-boys to that list because yesterday Adam Lambert surprisingly opened a can in Miami (above) which has him facing battery charges as of this morning. I guess admitting you got your ass kicked by a kid who wears studded codpieces the size of my house is worth the shot at a lucrative lawsuit. Personally, I would’ve just lied to people and said it was my twin brother in these photos. “Who? Me? Ha! You’re hilarious. No way would Gay Freddie Munster get the drop on- Oh, God, a bee! A bee, a bee! *hides under beach towel* Don’t let it ouch me.”

UPDATE: Adam is defending himself on Twitter.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Looks more like a cat fight hahahaha. The cameraman is laughing as Lambert bitch slaps him!!!! Lovers tiff???

  2. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like some sort of gay tickle fight.

  3. crack in can baby

    yeah… that photographer looks really distraught.

  4. Are we sure this is an actual attack and not just an overly aggressive & clumsy expression of attraction?
    How could anyone hate gays? The world needs more men wearing sparkles.

  5. Viv

    Male celebrities going coo coo, female celebrities flashing their privates and going in and out of rehab…everything is just fine in hollyhood land.

  6. Grinder

    Adam sure is shy about those white legs

  7. Vandal

    LMAO. The photographer is pissing himself laughing. Makes me fuckin sick this though, that bender was courting the paps not long ago to get his “fame” and now this. Paps should stick together against people that attack them and NEVER take a picture of them again. Bellends.

  8. Bunny

    Thank you for this!!!!!!!!!!! I’m still dying laughing. Nice laugh on a Friday! Thanks Mr. Fish Man

    • TOWN COCK

      DO NOT, DO NOT penalize Lambert for the battery!!! If he’d spend any time in the POKEY…. he’d be dead and gone to heaven. Why you think they knickname it “POKEY” poke, poke, poke…

      Seriously, the #1 queer deserves punishment! Lock him up with LINDSEY and PARIS and he’d do himself in, comit suicide!!!

      • town cock is a retard

        The pokey is jail, jail is also where people charged with misdemeanor assaults go. Prison is where prisoner rape happens, not jail. Sorry your asshole got all ichy over nothing Town Cock, but enjoy your Oz dvds

  9. teddy

    he got his hump on.. how’d that beaner afford that camera?

  10. fester

    Poor Adam has been in a sour mood ever since Prince Poppycock failed to close the deal earlier in the week.

  11. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    Commented on this photo:

    Gives new meaning to the term Gay Bashing.

  12. They make a fabulous couple

  13. Michelle

    Nice hat Adam!

  14. McFeely My Anus

    It looks like he’s humping his leg. i’m jealous

  15. Adam is so politically incorrect in this attack. What a fag!

  16. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    Marley
    Commented on this photo:

    These pictures are hilarious!!

  17. I wonder as Adam was bitch slapping this guy if he was singing “Whatda ya want from me? What da ya want from meeeheeeee??”

  18. firstofthehallen

    Looks like they’re gonna get into one serious tickle fight!

  19. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    boli
    Commented on this photo:

    gayest thing i’ve ever seen.

  20. Hugh Gentry

    sweet outfit homo. the hat just ties it all together.

  21. playboy swizzle stick

    I agree with everyone else. Not an attack, unless you call it a sodomy attack of horrific shame. Lambert is trying to rape the guy. In the ass. Cuz he’s gay. And gay dudes love putting their turgid junk in other dude’s assholes.

    • F**K you dude! YOu don’t Know Adam and you don’t have paparazzis following your pathetic ass around! Oh wait, I know why you said that! You secretly wish it was you that Adam bent over, dont you?

  22. playboy swizzle stick

    Cuz they’re gay.

  23. GeorgeWBush

    Isn’t this what Paparazzi call a “Gang-Bang”? The third person in the pic trying to join in, is that another dude or a butch chick?

  24. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    IreneWienne
    Commented on this photo:

    The paparazzi go way to far. That guy deserved an ARSE whopping.

  25. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    mmmkay
    Commented on this photo:

    yeah I just laughed out loud

  26. duke chute

    Er, uhmmm…yeah that was funny.

  27. BIggityBamSon

    I love how the photographer is laughing in every pic. Adam Lambert is sooooo threatening!

  28. HoldenR

    Great. Just what I needed this morning.

    Pictures of a fat freckled homo running around playing grab-ass with another butt jockey.

    I didn’t want to eat that Cap’n Crunch anyway.

  29. RoboZombie

    Fruity Sun Hat- Check
    Lame ass fingernail polish-Check
    Getting a pap bent over so you can live out your secret fantasy- Priceless

    Anyway, that Pap seems like he’s laughing at the hold retarded affair!

  30. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    Nope
    Commented on this photo:

    Is seriously he pinching him? The guy being assaulted looks like he can’t contain his laughter (or enjoyment). Frolicking at the Beach, la la-la.

  31. shavederic

    Oh my. I hope he didn’t smear his eyeliner in the scuffle.

  32. Hollywoodaholic

    To be fair, the Pap was blinded by the black toe polish.

  33. Anonymous

    Meh it’s easy to slap around some dude when he is more focused on protecting a camera worth thousands of dollars.

  34. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    chelsea
    Commented on this photo:

    yeeeeah, that pap looks like he’s scared for his life.

  35. Steelerchick

    Someone wants a picture of him????

  36. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    chelsea
    Commented on this photo:

    the third guy looks like he’s attempting a ballet move

  37. Racer X

    Ghey!

  38. Laura

    Hillarious! I love Adam to pieces for staging this drama so we could all talk about it! Like this is a real fight, c’mon folks!! Ha ha!

  39. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    marie
    Commented on this photo:

    maybe the photographer is an ex-boyfriend of adam. looks more like a lovers fight.

  40. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    J.Taylor
    Commented on this photo:

    This is 2010 and y’all think your lame anti-gay jokes are funny? smh.

  41. J.Taylor

    This is 2010 and y’all think your lame stereotypical anti-gay jokes are funny? smh.

  42. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    awesomesauce
    Commented on this photo:

    or he thought they were getting it on and wanted to make a threebie

  43. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    oh uh
    Commented on this photo:

    Strong tickle-fight

  44. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    BD007
    Commented on this photo:

    #1 – who is adam lambert anyway
    #2 – doesn’t it look like the pap is laughing at him the whole time?

  45. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    decalex
    Commented on this photo:

    ..getting roughed up by a guy rocking the black nail polish on the beach– classic!

  46. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    Leia S.
    Commented on this photo:

    he’s trying to hump his leg!!

  47. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    Leia S.
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like he’s try’n to grab the pap’s junk!!!

  48. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    Leia S.
    Commented on this photo:

    awww look he’s tickling his lover! They’re play fighting LOL

  49. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    Leia S.
    Commented on this photo:

    oh look it’s a threesome now!! LOL

  50. Adam Lambert Attacks the Paparazzi
    Leia S.
    Commented on this photo:

    Now it looks like Rape and force of entry from behind!! haha

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