According to Hulk Hogan, being locked up for negligent driving had a transformative effect on his son. Which is nice, since his best buddy John Graziano has just been lying around in a permanent vegetative state and hasn’t done a damn thing to increase his personal growth. See, parents? You can’t always judge your kids by the company they keep! Us Magazine reports:
Hulk says Nick has changed his life since getting out of jail Oct. 20.
“He was on a roll,” he said. “He was a young professional driver. He had the show going, and it all got real busy, and then when he went to jail, he got stripped of everything.
“He got stripped of clothes, of watches, he got stripped of his identity, and he found out what’s important in life,” Hulk added. “He knows what’s real, and what’s not real.
“And before he went in there, he was accountable, and he was responsible. And I think that’s what he found out in jail, the most important thing. He understands what is real life. You know, it’s about helping people, being positive, moving forward.
“He was a good kid before, he’s a great kid now,” Hulk says. “He’s not the same man he was when he went in there.”
Then Hulk added:
“But you know where he’s really experienced the most growth, surprisingly enough? His rectum. Yeah, no kidding. On the drive home from jail I thought we were being followed by a UFO, the wind was whistling through his sphincter so loud. I’ve been storing all my spare bandannas in there, which gave us an idea for a family magic act that we’ll hopefully be opening at the MGM Grand early next year. We might even get John in the act; it would lift his spirits, and he’d probably be good in the sawing-a-guy-in-half routine. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I hear Brooke’s ass cheeks de-moisturizing. You know, a father’s work is never done, but it has its rewards.”