Hulk Hogan says Nick learned a lot in jail

October 27th, 2008 // 63 Comments

According to Hulk Hogan, being locked up for negligent driving had a transformative effect on his son. Which is nice, since his best buddy John Graziano has just been lying around in a permanent vegetative state and hasn’t done a damn thing to increase his personal growth. See, parents? You can’t always judge your kids by the company they keep! Us Magazine reports:

Hulk says Nick has changed his life since getting out of jail Oct. 20.
“He was on a roll,” he said. “He was a young professional driver. He had the show going, and it all got real busy, and then when he went to jail, he got stripped of everything.
“He got stripped of clothes, of watches, he got stripped of his identity, and he found out what’s important in life,” Hulk added. “He knows what’s real, and what’s not real.
“And before he went in there, he was accountable, and he was responsible. And I think that’s what he found out in jail, the most important thing. He understands what is real life. You know, it’s about helping people, being positive, moving forward.
“He was a good kid before, he’s a great kid now,” Hulk says. “He’s not the same man he was when he went in there.”

Then Hulk added:

“But you know where he’s really experienced the most growth, surprisingly enough? His rectum. Yeah, no kidding. On the drive home from jail I thought we were being followed by a UFO, the wind was whistling through his sphincter so loud. I’ve been storing all my spare bandannas in there, which gave us an idea for a family magic act that we’ll hopefully be opening at the MGM Grand early next year. We might even get John in the act; it would lift his spirits, and he’d probably be good in the sawing-a-guy-in-half routine. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I hear Brooke’s ass cheeks de-moisturizing. You know, a father’s work is never done, but it has its rewards.”

Photos: WENN
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  1. It looks like Hulk is a cardboard cutout in that first picture

  2. gnipgnopq

    That kid is the ugliest fucking punkin head i’ve ever seen – look at his retarded dome – someone let the air out of that thing pronto – agh

  3. Moksha

    WTF do these bloody murderers have to fkn grin about???!!!

  4. tracey

    hilarious!

  5. m24k

    those are tampax pearls in the mirror behind Hulk. just thought i’d point that out!

  6. hahaha

    This cracked my shit up in a big way. Well done Fish.

    BTW Hulk what is ‘real’ is the poor bastard in a coma…you remember him don’t you, asshole?

  7. RWhitfield

    i hope he learned to watch his back
    P.S nick is on my list >evil laugh<

  8. RaraAvis

    Nick learned a lot in jail, did he? Humm…maybe Hulk should spend some time there, too. Be mine, I_AM_LIMERICK_MAN !

  9. Snoodle

    jesus christ superstar that shirt the Hulkster’s got on…

  10. Squishy

    Of course he has ~bullshit~ improved himself and his perspective on life ~bullshit~ and respect for the lives he could impact on if he kills them ~bullshit~ with a DUI!!

  11. Astrid

    That blonde fucktard is out of jail already?? HOW??? I will never be able to get the image of Graziano with half a head out of my mind. The entire Hogan family can rot in hell.

  12. Wow…I’ve heard he has many soulmates. HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP reported that most of them were found on the Internet, such as AgelessOnly.COM. It’s the best age-gap celebrity dating service on the Internet. Maybe it’s right.

  13. Bush

    Here’s what fairy sissyboi Nick learned in jail…

    How to keep Bubbas semen from dripping down his legs after Bubba pounded his ass. How to suck a cock till it explodes. That daddy can’t buy him out of everything. That maybe he won’t be able to live his entire life on daddys earnings; have to share it with manBrooke. That semen is full of protien. That he loves loves loves the taste of butt juice.

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