Hulk Hogan says Nick learned a lot in jail

October 27th, 2008 // 63 Comments

According to Hulk Hogan, being locked up for negligent driving had a transformative effect on his son. Which is nice, since his best buddy John Graziano has just been lying around in a permanent vegetative state and hasn’t done a damn thing to increase his personal growth. See, parents? You can’t always judge your kids by the company they keep! Us Magazine reports:

Hulk says Nick has changed his life since getting out of jail Oct. 20.
“He was on a roll,” he said. “He was a young professional driver. He had the show going, and it all got real busy, and then when he went to jail, he got stripped of everything.
“He got stripped of clothes, of watches, he got stripped of his identity, and he found out what’s important in life,” Hulk added. “He knows what’s real, and what’s not real.
“And before he went in there, he was accountable, and he was responsible. And I think that’s what he found out in jail, the most important thing. He understands what is real life. You know, it’s about helping people, being positive, moving forward.
“He was a good kid before, he’s a great kid now,” Hulk says. “He’s not the same man he was when he went in there.”

Then Hulk added:

“But you know where he’s really experienced the most growth, surprisingly enough? His rectum. Yeah, no kidding. On the drive home from jail I thought we were being followed by a UFO, the wind was whistling through his sphincter so loud. I’ve been storing all my spare bandannas in there, which gave us an idea for a family magic act that we’ll hopefully be opening at the MGM Grand early next year. We might even get John in the act; it would lift his spirits, and he’d probably be good in the sawing-a-guy-in-half routine. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I hear Brooke’s ass cheeks de-moisturizing. You know, a father’s work is never done, but it has its rewards.”

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Comments (63)

  1. Watdafux | October 27, 2008 at 6:31 pm

    Yea lyk taken it up the ARSE. jk NO ILY HOGAN MAN!

    Reply
  2. Watdafux | October 27, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    P.S. Hulk Hogan is fucking sexy.

    Reply
  3. Watdafux | October 27, 2008 at 6:34 pm

    P.S. Hulk Hogan is fuckin’ sexy. MUSCLESSSSS<3X0

    Reply
  4. Watdafux | October 27, 2008 at 6:36 pm

    YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WATDAFUX?

    Reply
  5. bob | October 27, 2008 at 6:37 pm

    He get out from the jail?????????? This isreally unthinkable. Many friendsI met on a sports community think==mysportsdate.com== s o too.

    Reply
  6. Me too | October 27, 2008 at 6:39 pm

    Surely he has strengthened his gag reflex, as well. Pops is a little TOO happy about all the wonderous things his young tyke has learned, methinks.

    Reply
  7. Jayger | October 27, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    Bet his ass he’s not the same man now. He got banged by Big Bubba and learned how to blow the guards for that “extra” security.

    Reply
  8. FRIST!!! | October 27, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    You guys all beat me to the ass jokes, thanks a lot. Oh, but BTW, 1-4 What in the hell????

    Reply
  9. Burt Destruction | October 27, 2008 at 7:06 pm

    “He understands what is real life.”

    This is coming from a man whose life has been spent “professionally” wrestling.

    Reply
  10. Chenush | October 27, 2008 at 7:08 pm

    superficial, you are gross, that was too much rectum joks man.

    Reply
  11. Watdafux | October 27, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    #8. I. Just. Do. Not. Know. Anymore. THOSE HOGAN’Z SURE DO GET ME IN A SILLY SALLY MOOD! Esp. <3The Hulk<3

    Reply
  12. Oso Polar | October 27, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    They are both pathetic. The has been praising the barnacle. It’ 7:30 “Hulk” where is juniors mama?

    Reply
  13. FRIST!!! | October 27, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    #11 got it and completely understand

    Reply
  14. FRIST!!! | October 27, 2008 at 7:26 pm

    Actually no I don’t…..whatever, it’s QUITTIN TIME FOR GOOD OLD FRIST< WHO IS JOINING ME FOR DRINKS???

    Reply
  15. supersex | October 27, 2008 at 7:26 pm

    now he knows how to suck a dick like his sister and mama!

    all bitches

    Reply
  16. I_AM_LIMERICK_MAN | October 27, 2008 at 7:39 pm

    There once were two fuck-ups named Hogan
    Whose daddy was wrestling’s big slogan
    Both were made famous
    Plopping out of Dad’s anus
    Top that, if you can, Lindsay Lohan

    Reply
  17. sho nuff | October 27, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    that made me bark out loud! “we thought a UFO was following us…..”
    hee! haw! rectum.

    Reply
  18. Sprot | October 27, 2008 at 8:01 pm

    Ha ha, Oh Superficial writer, you’ve outdone yourself this time. Well done.

    Reply
  19. Ted from LA | October 27, 2008 at 8:09 pm

    I heard they wrote a “B” on each of his ass cheeks in prison and when he bent over it spelled BOB.

    Reply
  20. 1 MILF Hunter | October 27, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    He sure isn’t the man he was before he went to the joint. He smoked more meat than Hillshire Farms. Plus he’s got a prolapsed rectum.

    Reply
  21. Whoregan | October 27, 2008 at 8:24 pm

    I bet he wears diapers now.

    Reply
  22. Hulk = Steroid Princess | October 27, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    Hulk Hogan is a steroid princess. What do you think would happen if he had to fight someone for real, as in not scripted?

    HH – pssst! you’re supposed to fall down and stay down!
    opponent – FuckYou!
    HH – I’m supposed to win this match! Arghhhhh!!!!
    HH – Let me win!!! Damn You!!!
    opponent – Fuck You buddy, I don’t take falls!
    HH – Ahhhhh! Ouch!!!! Oooooomphhh!!! Doooohhhh!!!
    HH – Ouch!!!! Hey!!! Those are real punches!!!!
    HH – Hey that hurts!!! Stop!!! Ouch!!!!

    -SPLAT-

    opponent – Told you I don’t take falls, bitch!!!

    Reply
  23. Danklin | October 27, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    Jesus fucking christ, i wish Hulk Hogan would shut his damn mouth. The guy is like Sarah Palin on steroids. He tries to make a good point but ends up sounding like a fucking idiot because he can barely process a complete thought without going onto something else. I dont have a fucking clue what he was trying to say there except he still thinks his son got the shaft and jail ended his driving career before it even got started. Aw sorry to hear that little Hogan, i guess thats what happens when you’re a little assbag that gets drunk, races and permanently turn your friend into a dried prune that drools.

    Reply
  24. Starr | October 27, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    anyone else notice hes wearing a unicorn t-shirt?

    Reply
  25. Starr | October 27, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    anyone else notice hes wearing a unicorn t-shirt?

    Reply
  26. Starr | October 27, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    anyone else notice hes wearing a unicorn t-shirt?

    Reply
  27. Vince M. | October 27, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    Yea, right Hulk, g0d wanted it this way. You fucking retard.

    “…he got stripped of everything…”

    and his buddy got stripped of his brain.

    Maybe now you won’t be racing against your son and his buddy anymore. You piece of human garbage.

    Reply
  28. Bolea = Weirdo Family of CREEPS | October 27, 2008 at 9:14 pm

    The Bolea/Hogan family are all douchebag extraordinaires.

    Hulk rubs his daughters ass in public, the mother dates her kids’ classmates, Nick thinks he can do anything he wants and daddys money will get him out of any trouble. Brooke is the female, except she has manly traits. Nickie is supposed to be a male, yet he is a feminine fairy type guy. Now Nickies ass is bored out big time.

    Since Nickies ass is bored out now, he could work as a male prostitute. At least he could stop living off daddys 15 minutes. Fucking extreme douchebag.

    Brooke has the balls of the children. Nick has a pussy and a bored out ass.

    Their mother looks like a blonde haired Kim Kardashian.

    Hulk Hogan is about to shrivel up from all the ‘roids. Steroids and hemmoroids on little Nickies ass.

    Reply
  29. pelps | October 27, 2008 at 9:17 pm

    He’s the man!!
    Many young girls and hot cougars on === Agelessdate.com === wanna marry a man like him. I did see some supermodels there. I know many guys tired of dating the ordinary, maybe u can meet your special at this superb club :-)

    Reply
  30. Walt D | October 27, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    Nick reminds me of Jiminy Cricket.

    Reply
  31. justifiable | October 27, 2008 at 9:24 pm

    He was a “professional driver” only so far as had a competition license. Good pro drivers aren’t ruled by speed, and it’s pretty goddamn clear this asswipe doesn’t know the difference between a pro track and a highway. Hopefully his former sponsors will know the difference between a jagoff and a real driver even if daddy doesn’t.

    Reply
  32. warden | October 27, 2008 at 9:38 pm

    Nicky boys cellmate was in for burglary. Or, rather, up for burglary.

    Turd Burglary!!!!

    Yo Nicky boy, you HOMO!!!! LMAO!!!! Pussy Boi!!!!!

    Reply
  33. i share the same name with this fairy. fuck u bolea u boa wearing fag | October 27, 2008 at 10:22 pm

    yeah, look at the fag wearing a UNICORN t-shirt. lol!!! what a fairy! even Brooke wouldnt wear that. his asshole must look like a deflated hot air balloon hole now.

    Reply
  34. Hilarious | October 27, 2008 at 11:03 pm

    Fish that was too much!!!!

    Reply
  35. Little Nicky (LMAO) | October 27, 2008 at 11:22 pm

    That punk isn’t a professional driver. To call that little failure a professional driver is like calling Paris Hilton a professional singer/actress or calling Kim Kardashian a professional dance artist and choreographer.

    Frickin’ Hogans are as bad as Heidi & Spencer!

    Reply
  36. Jessica | October 27, 2008 at 11:27 pm

    I don’t post her often (ever, actually) but I have to say, I f’ing hate this family. They’re all trash.

    Reply
  37. Sport | October 27, 2008 at 11:28 pm

    What a worthless douche of a family. All of them.
    If they want their collective IQ to seriously spike they should just shut the fuck up. Zip it. Zip. ZZzzip. WHat a bunch of pathetic media tools.

    Reply
  38. Pedro De Pacas | October 27, 2008 at 11:52 pm

    The only thing this pendejo learned was how to take multiple dick up his ass and in his mouth and still breathe through his nose.

    WHATCHA GONNA DO BROTHER?????

    Reply
  39. justtheobvious | October 28, 2008 at 12:10 am

    Great, now they are both gay. Who cares about a washed up steroid ruined hunk of flesh’s kid that does nothing and has only boned his sister.. until he landed in jail…
    Whole family of fags.
    Mom looks like a dude
    Dad is finished
    Sister gets boned by her brother ..
    He is now a fag.
    Congratulations

    I’d rather see more retarded pictures of Heidi and Spencer.. seriously

    Reply
  40. gerard Vandenberg | October 28, 2008 at 12:26 am

    MEET DOMBO & SON, folks!!

    Reply
  41. Aerialgreen | October 28, 2008 at 12:33 am

    [sarcasm]but, but, you never know how life is going to turn around, maybe, yeah, maybe Nick Hogan will end up discovering a cure for his friend missing 1/3 of brain!, yeah, then you’ll be like, yeah, maybe if we were behind him from the beggining, he would have discovered the cure for cancer, u h8ters!!11~![/sarcasm]

    Reply
  42. Ric Flair | October 28, 2008 at 8:37 am

    I want to *moisturize* Brooke’s assheeks too, along with her face
    (beating off furiously whilest typing this)

    WOOOOOOO

    Reply
  43. Janella | October 28, 2008 at 8:37 am

    What he means “we don’t give a f#c& we just want to get back to making lame shows to get rich.” I hate this family so much. They can kiss it with their damage control garbage.

    Reply
  44. fishfan | October 28, 2008 at 9:43 am

    Did anyone else notice the boxes of tampons behind hulks head????

    Reply
  45. kipsy | October 28, 2008 at 9:45 am

    you can always count on people with shitty senses of humor to leap to the ass-raping jokes the second anyone mentions jail. as though it were the happiest, least tired joke in the world. ‘oh, there’s a comic “p.s.” to this little story. I hope it’s about forced sodomy! I need a smile!’ I wasn’t disappointed (except I was).

    Reply
  46. Scarlett | October 28, 2008 at 9:58 am

    Nick is scum. He should have been put away for life… the douchebag got let off far too lightly. If only he was the one left with a massive hole in his head.

    Reply
  47. Scarlett | October 28, 2008 at 9:58 am

    Nick is scum. He should have been put away for life… the douchebag got let off far too lightly. If only he was the one left with a massive hole in his head.

    Reply
  48. Scarlett | October 28, 2008 at 9:58 am

    Nick is scum. He should have been put away for life… the douchebag got let off far too lightly. If only he was the one left with a massive hole in his head.

    Reply
  49. glen | October 28, 2008 at 10:11 am

    is that a goddamn unicorn shirt…….jesus

    Reply
  50. Jade | October 28, 2008 at 10:30 am

    Is Hulk made out of leather? Ohhhh shiny!
    (the tampons and the unicorn shirt are hilarious)

    Reply

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