What has 8 billion freckles, a drinking problem and never requested a new passport?

May 20th, 2010 // 42 Comments

Because Retard Catwoman here is a criminal genius, she never requested a new passport from the US Embassy in France which basically blows a hole in her story that she’s frantically trying to appear in Los Angeles court. Radar Online reports:

Maryse Nebatti, the Duty Officer in Marseille for the U.S. Embassy in France, told RadarOnline.com that Lindsay reported the passport stolen but “has not requested a new passport.”

However, to Lindsay’s credit, she’s surprisingly getting shit done at Cannes. Not only did she land in a role in a 3D horror movie no one will ever see, but she successfully broke up Amanda Seyfried and Dominic Cooper according to Us Magazine:

“They have been on and off for a long time,” the source tells Us. “Right now, they are taking some space from each other.”
“They still talk all the time and are trying to work things out,” continues the source. “They are still very good friends.”

As someone who’s repeatedly cheated on a significant other with questionable women – And got the clap once! – I can only imagine how Amanda Seyfried is feeling. Wait, that’s not right. I can specifically know how Dominic Cooper is feeling. And it’s somewhere between awesome and crying in the shower clutching an itchy scrotum. Breathe it in, son. Breathe it in.

Photo: Markus Klinko and Indrani

  1. Nome King

    I’d hit airbrushed Lohan.

  2. joe


  3. MisAnnThropy

    She actually looks decent in this pic..

    Who exactly do these people think they are?? I really hope she gets put away, because you know if it was you or I, our door would have been kicked in already with a warrant in hand..

    Maybe this is what she needs, a real sobering experience.. Also, someone should take the other kids away from Dina & lock her up for child abuse, teach that woman a lesson as well.

    It’s sad, the main reason this girl is so fucked up is because of her parents.. Get away from both leeches..

  4. maggie

    i wonder if they purposely darkened the giant freckles around her crotch – definitely attracts the eye

  5. maggie

    i wonder if they purposely darkened the giant freckles around her crotch – definitely attracts the eye

  6. I love when retarded people try to be first and then are second or third and basically make themselves look like a complete moronic shit. It makes me smile every time at what complete asscracks people are.

  7. B Rock

    MAN the things I would do to her. What has has 2 thumbs, a freckle fetish and LOVES interracial sex? THIS GUY

  8. Neorules2112

    Wish you could have airbrushed the freckles out … Major Fire Crotch going on down there …

  9. Photoshop Police

    Who thinks she’s gonna hide out in France for a few months because she is afraid of going to jail?

    WE DO! WE DO!

  10. Deacon Jones

    Man, for a full blown drunk, she’s somehow managed to maintain her INCREDIBLE body. Other than the freckles, I wouldnt change a thing.

    Most women pack on 30 pounds (see: junior year of college).

  11. bitch PLEASE

    Looks like old connect-the-dot pussy is trying to do another runner….

  12. wonder wall

    Q: What do you call a man who makes jokes about women making him sandwiches?

    A: Single

  13. jumpin_j

    Don’t know where that photos from, but if that isn’t an ad for Photoshop then it should be. Ain’t NO way she looks that good. Nothing some time out of the sun won’t cure… IN THE BIG HOUSE!

  14. OJ's Mom

    @4 – Maggie, I was wondering the same thing. They’re so big I don’t know that you could even consider them freckles anymore.

  15. Dave

    Blech! The freckles are throwing me off! Nasty!

  16. NeNe

    I hope they throw her stupid, drunk ass behind bars. It is not fair that she is, for a lack of a better word, getting the r’oyal treatment’, and getting off scott free. Yes, she had to attend those classes, but that is not enough. She seems to think she is beyond the law, and can do whatever the heck she wants to do. That should not be permitted. I think doing some time (hey Paris Hilton did it) in jail might put the SCARE in her that she really needs, and then finally decide to get the HELP she so desperately needs before she dies a tragic death like Marilyn Monroe, Heath Ledger, River Phoenix, etc… At the rate she is going, she isn’t too far off from having her name added to the list.

  17. woopwoop

    Say what you want… Freckles are sexy.

  18. 8 billion freckles FTW.

  19. Nate

    Lets not forget her big homophobic response in regards to her dating that one hot as photographer chick. Um..isn’t Linds suppose to be bisexual?

  20. Photoshop Police

    from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/20/lindsay-lohan-facing-jail_n_583219.html

    “UPDATE: Lindsay’s court hearing went on in her absence. A judge issued a bench warrant for her arrest and set bail at $100,000.”

  21. Yawn

    You should rename this blog to lindsaylohan&heidi, since half the posts are about these two… I’m pretty bored.

  22. Shes not a drunk

    She’s a pill junkie.

    How the fuck do you not know the difference by now?

  23. SO RIGHT

    She looks ok, but something about her is just NOT sexy! I think it’s the freckles mixed with her desperate personality.

  24. SO RIGHT

    She looks ok, but something about her is just NOT sexy! I think it’s the freckles mixed with her desperate personality.

  25. SO RIGHT

    She looks ok, but something about her is just NOT sexy! I think it’s the freckles mixed with her desperate personality.

  26. blablabla

    #10) See: Lohan is uneducated.

  27. chuck

    What the fuck with the losers saying “first” on posts?
    is it
    1) I am the first that wants to fuck her?, yea like you have any chance in hell, or
    2) I am the first loser that doesn’t have a fucking life to respond to this post?

  28. Badger Bob

    First off, photoshop or not, Lindsay is rockin’ that bikini.

    Secondly, bail at $100,000? What the hell, she’s out of the country, showing reluctance to come back into the country, and has broken the terms of her probation. All a person needs is, what 10%, to buy a bail bond? Set the bail at least $2 million, or deny bail all together. She can finish her alcohol classes in jail.

    And when are they going to lengthen her probation period? Set it at 5 years with mandatory weekly classes.

  29. Katie

    @16 She won’t die a tragic death like Marilyn Monroe or other talented icons. As Billy Joel says, “only the good die young”. Sorry people. While Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix and countless other talents are lost to the world through untimely deaths, the likes of vapid pieces of shit like Lilo and Miss Montag will continue to punish us with their antics.

  30. Stella

    just cause somebody has a nice, trim body doesn’t mean they’re sexy. lindsay is a perfect example of this…. i find her rather repulsive.

  31. ginger

    I don’t give a shit about this girl BUT can someone tell me the brand of that bra and panties??? So cool.

  32. yowillie

    I’d pound that.

  33. yowillie

    She needs a pearl necklace.

  34. herbiefrog

    do we like it ? …

    …not a lott


    she’s got it covered : )))

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  37. captain america

    an american winner at all stakes?

  38. ariasage

    lol retard catwoman

  39. I love the retarded people try to be the first and second or third are basically completely foolish to make himself look like shit. The full asscracks me smile every time people are doing.

  40. I ,must say I wouldn’t recognize her. It is amazing that we see her totally drunk on one photo and then comes another photo the same day where she looks like a sexbomb.

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