What has 8 billion freckles, a drinking problem and never requested a new passport?

Because Retard Catwoman here is a criminal genius, she never requested a new passport from the US Embassy in France which basically blows a hole in her story that she’s frantically trying to appear in Los Angeles court. Radar Online reports:

Maryse Nebatti, the Duty Officer in Marseille for the U.S. Embassy in France, told RadarOnline.com that Lindsay reported the passport stolen but “has not requested a new passport.”

However, to Lindsay’s credit, she’s surprisingly getting shit done at Cannes. Not only did she land in a role in a 3D horror movie no one will ever see, but she successfully broke up Amanda Seyfried and Dominic Cooper according to Us Magazine:

“They have been on and off for a long time,” the source tells Us. “Right now, they are taking some space from each other.”
“They still talk all the time and are trying to work things out,” continues the source. “They are still very good friends.”

As someone who’s repeatedly cheated on a significant other with questionable women – And got the clap once! – I can only imagine how Amanda Seyfried is feeling. Wait, that’s not right. I can specifically know how Dominic Cooper is feeling. And it’s somewhere between awesome and crying in the shower clutching an itchy scrotum. Breathe it in, son. Breathe it in.

Photo: Markus Klinko and Indrani