What It’s Like To Go On The Paula Deen Cruise

February 14th, 2014 // 15 Comments
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After a public relations disaster thanks to a lawsuit she ended up settling out of court after giving a now-pointless and career-destroying deposition that confirmed to the world she thinks making African-Americans dress up like plantation slaves is an acceptable wedding decoration, Paula Deen vanished from public sight. Except now she’s planning a $75 million comeback because old Southern white people “who don’t know any better” have a target demographic that can’t hand you its money (or die off) fast enough. However, not every company bailed on Paula, and some like Alice Travel, doubled down by offering cruises with Lady Butter Belle of the South which Caity Weaver subjected herself to so none of us ever have to. It’s an incredible read that examines the morbid realities of cruise ships and how easy it is to find a singing black chef to make you not look like a racist on one. And before any says it’s TL;DR because reading is hard, I made it through the whole thing, and I’m the type of person who fast forwards through the opening credits of TV shows if they deprive me of one second of Rust Cohle saying awesome bleak shit into my face. Suck it up.

Gravy Boat: My Week on the High Seas With Paula Deen and Friends – Gawker

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Cock Dr

    “I learned that the weirdest place Paula Deen has ever had sexual congress with her second husband Michael Groover, according to Paula Deen, is on a train traveling from New York City to Savannah, Ga.”
    Ha!
    I suppose I’ll keep reading. It’s not like we’re going anywhere with a gazillion tons of snow outside.
    Apparently chicken wrapped in bacon and lacquered in cream sauce appears later in the story. It’s great reading material for a vegetarian.

  2. Jiminy Cryptic

    Kendall the cadaver, Fox News, now Paula Dean? It’s fucking Friday, can’t you help a brother???

  3. The Gawker article was a very entertaining read.

    • If you’re snow-bound, you might find the rest of Gawker’s Jezebel site worth a look, too. The articles/comments usually range from the hilarious/civil/witty/urbane to I-want-to-murder-anything-with-a-penis-and-if-you’re-a-woman-who-disagrees-with-me-you’re-a-cis-gendered-tool-of-the-patriarchy-who-needs-to-check-her-privilege-and/or-be-hacked-to-death-with-a-machete-right-now.

      You can’t go wrong.

  4. Goose

    Why do we hate Paula Deen again? Because she said a no-no word in 1972?

    • Bobby

      Goose, we are supposed to hate her because: sometime durring the late 80′s/early 90′s she refered to a black man that put a gun to her head durring a bank hold-up as a ‘nigger’.

      FYI: her cookbook shot to #1 in sales AFTER her sponsors jumped ship.
      http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/jun/27/paula-deen-cookbooks-surge-top-spots-amazon-best-s/

    • Because of the Free Market. She said some stuff that was pretty damn racial insensative and when it got it out it conflicted with her appearance as “Nice Southern Aunt who is secretly trying to kill you with Diabetes.” So when you know people found out about it enough of them wouldn’t buy her stuff that she became a liability for anyone who worked for her and they dropped her.

      Her biggest sin isn’t being kinda racist, it’s being a stupid business woman. She knew this stuff existed and could have been used against her. When the case came up she should have weighed how much it would have cost and the short term hit on her popularity for settling verses how toxic she is now. She could have honestly settled and locked it down with a NDA and been fine.

      Everyone has secrets in their past they never want to come back to bite them in the ass and doubley so if their famous. When you get famous you are your publicity team needs to do work to white wash that shit. Got caught with an Eskimo prostitute in Alaska, “Went to visit Americas last great frontier and feel in love with it’s people.”

    • Mama Pinkus

      because she is gross and repulsive and worst of all, she’s a fucking phony – she says Y’ALL in one interview more than I have ever heard that word in Texas and I’ve lived here since the 70′s.

    • diversity hire

      Because how else can you pat yourself on the back while letting everyone know how enlightened and progressive you are?

  5. You’ve been eating pineapple!

  6. cmonreally

    She’s flipping that dude off like the Southern Belle that she is.

  7. Name

    What’s that yellow thing below her cheek?

  8. Johnny Barbells

    …read it …loved it …kinda wanna marry caity now.

  9. Jenn

    Those flesh toned microphone/headsets defeat the purpose unless they want me to think they’ve got giant growths on their faces, then WIN!

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