Weston Cage Has A Reality Show Now

October 20th, 2011 // 38 Comments

When we last left Weston Cage he was following up his whirlwind tour of getting his ass kicked by every virtually person in his vicinity including himself by checking into rehab to become an action star and prove he’s not crazy. Well, apparently that didn’t last very long, because now he’s filming a reality show with his mom which, you’ll never believe this, is also part of his master plan to prove he’s not crazy. He’s like a wheel kick of surprises. Via Starpulse:

Fulton and her 20-year-old son will front new VH1 show Uncaged, which will follow their daily lives, and Weston is hoping the new project will show the public his true colors.
A source tells Star magazine, “Christina said the show will be like a modern-day Addams Family. Weston just wants to show the world he’s not mentally ill.”

When you describe your home life as a “modern-day Addams Family” – a family who by definition are crazed masochists that shoot and stab each other with weaponry when they’re not dressing their kids like 19th century corpses – you basically forfeit the right to follow that up with, “Oh, and by the way, we’re not fucking crazy.” That said, Nicolas Cage‘s wang is ground zero for this entire production, so people are already impressed you haven’t ripped each others faces off and traded them for Chihuahuas. You’re doing great.

Photos: Pacific Coast News

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  1. Frank Burns

    Episode 1: Weston screams at his wife for hours because she serves him Cocoa Puffs, which he believes will make him koo-koo. Later in the day, Weston is badly beaten during a street fight with a quadriplegic octogenarian.

  2. Buddy the Elf

    Gimme’ a fucking break.

    How did this freak get PAID to be on TV.
    Who watches this shit?

  3. stratacat

    i’m throwing away my DVR.

  4. Dude of Dudes

    That dude who said the world ends tomorrow was right. There has to be a goddamn apocalypse after this.

  5. Fester

    If Weston had tapped a stroller with his car like Lindsay Lohan did it’s likely the baby would have jumped up and kicked his ass. Personally, I’d love to see a reality show like that…

  6. Snow J. Frost

    I almost never believe I didn’t come up with that show title first!

  7. Cock Dr

    Seriously? For real? VH1 picked this piece of crap up?
    Are we sure these nuts aren’t just making home movies and thinking that EVENTUALLY someone will be dumb enough to offer them compensation for it?

  8. Weston Cage Nikki Williams Reality Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Bet you anything, the star they’re standing over is his dad’s… I will further assume he later peed on it while sobbing “Why didn’t you love me?!?!?!?!”

  9. Move: Goth Jesus

  10. The Most Interesting

    I demand that that commenter who “described” every move in past posts do so for this one!

  11. bejesus

    How did he grow his hair back so quick? I thought he just shaved it like a month or two ago?

  12. Gee, I can hardly wait!…**BANG!**

  13. Carl Spackler

    Wow , Look deeply into those eyes and tell me :
    A. You’re not afraid
    B. He’s not crazy
    C. You would be OK in an elevator going 40 flights with him alone
    D. You wouldn’t make a pre- emptive strike on him when confined to aforementioned elevator

    • Cock Dr

      I would be totally ok in an elavator with this goofball…but I do have some experience interacting with the deranged.
      Just ask him if he’s in a band…….he would never stop talking.

      • TomFrank

        I shared an elevator with Benjamin Millepied a couple months back. He just stood there waiting patiently for his floor. Didn’t dance or anything.

  14. seems to me most reality shows were about what people should NOT be like, and yet because it’s been high paying it seems to tell people they should all be doing it. fucking up, doing drugs, dropping out, having a million kids, espec single, during your teens. these program directors really out to be taken deep into the woods and well.. you know…….. (watch Deliverance…..)

  15. Glenn

    Wasn’t this motherfucker bald a month or two ago?
    Do he and his father have the same “barber”?

  16. kate

    Is he wearing a wig? I’m sure he had a shaved head a few months ago.

  17. Weston Cage Nikki Williams Reality Show
    Sodomy_Is_For_Everyone
    Commented on this photo:

    DRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. kimmykimkim

    Yeah, Weston, the whole fucking world cares about whether or not you’re crazy. You’re the spoiled child of a bat-shit alcoholic actor. Open and shut case.

  19. Weston Cage Nikki Williams Reality Show
    Tracey
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve never seen him with shoes AND a shirt on. Fuckin goober.

  20. Eddie Baby

    If it was called “Kick Weston Cage’s Ass,” I might watch it.

  21. Buddy the Elf

    Let’s all hold out for the spin-off show:

    “Spoiled Hollywood Rich Kid With No Talent on Lithium and Xanax.”

  22. I feel I’ve been waiting my entire life to watch a man break his own neck on TV trying to prove he’s not crazy. Thanks, Hollywood!

  23. Stupid name. Stupid guy. Stupid idea.

    If I wanted to watch a third-rate Marilyn Manson, I’d look up Andrew W.K.

  24. Elf

    Am I the only one hearing the Chewbacca growl in my head while looking at this photo?

    • Wow

      Actually, I was thinking the exact same thing. Also, when the hell did TV get so horrid that giving mentally insane morons their own reality program is considered a good idea? This guy is certifiable, and the fucked up network execs think that’s something we should have our kids watch? WTF???

  25. Weston Cage Nikki Williams Reality Show
    pixigoil
    Commented on this photo:

    Ooo..ya’ll should nominate me to kick his ass next.

  26. as if it’s not bad enough be to Nicolas Cage (post Face Off of course) but that he has to claim this person as his son is shameful

  27. Pippy Longcockings

    I feel bad for Nicolas Cage, who DOES actually have talent, unlike his 3rd rate Goth hell-spawn here.

  28. WHAT’S IRONIC IS; MOST OF THE COMMENTS HERE SEEM TO BE FROM PEOPLE THAT
    * # 1, “ARE” INTERESTED IN WESTON CAGE, OR WHY ELSE WOULD THEY * EVEN BE READING THIS ARTICLE, LET ALONE, COMMENTING ON IT?
    * # 2 APPEAR TO HAVE THEIR OWN ISSUES, = BULLYING TACTICS, ANGER , HATE, POMPOUS EGOTISTICAL ATTITUDES, AND ZERO EXPERIENCE IN THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY.
    “YOU ONLY SEE WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE” “YOU ONLY HEAR, WHAT “THEY” WANT YOU TO HEAR”. I PAY CLOSE ATTENTION, LOOK DEEPER, WATCH BODY LANGUAGE, DETAILS AND THE REAL PERSON. I SEE A VERY INTELLIGENT, VULNERABLE, DEEPLY LOVING, ROMANTIC, POETIC, YOUNG, TORTURED SOUL, STRONG, MYSTERIOUSLY HANDSOME, JEALOUS BUT BEEN TESTED A LITTLE TOO MUCH, SO WHO WOULDN’TBE? TALENTED, CREATIVE, FRIENDLY, EASILY ANGERED, LOST, AND A BEAUTIFUL PERSON.
    * SO WHAT IF HE’S PUBLICLY MADE SOME MISTAKES, JUST BECAUSE HIS “STYLE” OF MUSIC/ CLOTHES/ WORDS/ LIFESTYLE, DO NOT SUIT YOU OR CAN BE UNDERSTOOD BY YOU, DOES NOT MAKE HIM OUT TO BE WHAT MOST OF YOU ARE CULTIVATING HERE. MAN, GIVE THE GUY A BREAK, NO ONE IS PERFECT, UNLESS OF COURSE YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE? HE “IS” A NICE GUY, AND WHEN PEOPLE ARE NICE, CAN’T YOU FIND IT IN YOUR OWN HEARTS TO CUT HIM SOME SLACK HERE. IF ANYTHING, LET’S HELP HIM OUT, BECAUSE HE IS A NICE GUY. HE CAN SING/ACT/WRITE/ AND IS VERY CREATIVE. THE KARDASHIANS ARE RAKING IN THE BIG REALITY BUCKS, AND THEY ARE NONE OF THESE THINGS. THEY ARE SEXY, SMART, MARKETING GENIUS’S. BUT TAHT’S IT. REALITY SHOWS ARE HOT AND PRODUCE A LOT OF CASH FLOW. NOW THAT CAN ONLY HAPPEN WHEN “WE” ARE THE ONES INTERESTED, AND WANTING TO “WATCH THEM”. EVEN THE HATERS ARE THE ACTUAL ONES WHO MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR THE INDUSTRY TO SENSE THE DEMAND. HE’S NEWS, GOOD AND BAD. THAT’S LIFE, NOTHING UNUSUAL THERE.
    I WISH NIKKI WILLIAMS HEALTH AND HAPPINESS, AS WELL AS CHRISTINA FULTAN. BUT MOST OF ALL, WESTON. HE’S THE REASON THEY’RE ALL NOW KNOWN. THIS IS HOLLYWOOD.
    * THEY ALL HAVE MY BLESSINGS, I’LL BE WATCHING, AND SO WILL THESE PEOPLE, MANY POPLE. BEST WISHES, I HOPE IT REALLY HAPPENS.

  29. Aleta Lake

    C’mon, you guys! Lighten up on Weston, will ya? I think that he’s kinda cool…AND talented…Back off!

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