Weston Cage is Doing Karate For The Paparazzi Again

July 19th, 2011 // 120 Comments

“I’ll drop-kick you yet, Smurf that only I can see!”

While most of us wake up, grab a cup of coffee and prepare to work for a living, Weston Cage apparently starts his days by doing karate for the paparazzi now. Which is probably better than his usual routine of drinking until Satan’s face appears in the egg salad of random restaurants, demanding Weston order him with onion rings and fight to the death. Anyway, Weston has also taken to broadcasting his hopes and dreams to TMZ which now includes becoming a UFC fighter and challenging Kimbo Slice because that’ll prove he’s not crazy. You can’t make this shit up:

Cage told our photog he’s training to be a UFC fighter and his dream fight would be against the massive Kimbo Slice. Weston explains that part of the reason he wants to do this is because, “I just wanna prove to people I am not mentally ill … You can’t get accepted into UFC if you are mentally unstable.”

Good idea, but you know what really proves to people you’re not crazy? Not doing fucking karate in the middle of Beverly Hills. Also I hear a lot of people take you seriously when you don’t follow up getting your ass kicked by a pregnant woman with challenging a massive Bahamian-American fighting machine who started his career fighting in the streets, but I know all you’re reading is, “Amon Cthulu Ra, you are the true lord of ka-rah-tay.”

Photos: Bauer-Griffin

superficial

  1. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Herpes Sore of the Shaven Monkey.

  2. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Parking Meter Pre-hump Ritual.

  3. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Furious Chest Bombs.

  4. Average Black Guy

    Delusional !
    He would have his head on backwards after round one

  5. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    MILF
    Commented on this photo:

    Sensei Dreg, I must disagree.
    Move: Michael Lohan Pussykick 3.0

  6. who gives a fuck about this dribble from Nic Cage’s crank?

  7. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    Commented on this photo:

    Invisible banana peel – 1

    Weston Cage – 0

  8. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    Commented on this photo:

    Move: use fist of fury to open car door

  9. rican

    Poor moron. Kimbo was sliced from the UFC because he sucked. Well, at least he has his sanity.

  10. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    Agwings
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, another Tuesday at the Ministry of Funny Walks.

  11. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    HC66
    Commented on this photo:

    I really hope a midget runs up and junk punches him while he’s doing this shit in front of the paps.

  12. Jiggolo

    Fish, enough with this guy already. No one cares. I’d prefer pics of anyone in a bikini another story about this douche.

  13. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    Jiggolo
    Commented on this photo:

    Delicious milk jugs

  14. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    Wesley Snipes
    Commented on this photo:

    See those signs in the background? He needs to have those tattooed on his ass as a reminder to Kimbo not to ass rape him after the mauling.

  15. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    barbosa
    Commented on this photo:

    Dreg, you should check your ninja handbook. Thats not a move; its just a overt animosity against canadians. you suck!

  16. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    barbosa
    Commented on this photo:

    move: monkey ninja STRIKE

  17. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    barbosa
    Commented on this photo:

    MOVE: Crotch in Tiger, Hide My Dragon

  18. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    barbosa
    Commented on this photo:

    MOVE: illegal ninja move banned by the government

  19. juaqin ingles

    This is the exact kick this guy did before he came into the cage a minute and 15 seconds before I TKO’d him.

  20. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    Tracey
    Commented on this photo:

    I really really wish you would stop with this nobody, it’s not funny or entertaining.

  21. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    Raymundo McHorseradish
    Commented on this photo:

    Just leave the move names to Dreg fellas

  22. Honestly, I’m not a fan of Benjamin Millepied’s new hairstyle.

  23. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought there would be more people piggybacking on Dreg’s Move Catalog.

    That being said…Move: Incomplete Swastika.

  24. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Move: I Need My Shirt Ironed, Mom

  25. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Move: John Cleese Special

  26. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Move: Peter Coyote Key-Swing

  27. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t understand. Did he get it upside-down so he could look down on it and read it himself?

  28. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Move: Uterus Purse-Block Against Fetus-Soul-Stealing Camera

  29. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup. No crazy to see here. Move along.

  30. the captain

    listen: when you have NO talents at at like acting, singing or dancing, JUST TRY TO BE A BRAWLER!!

  31. Turd Ferguson

    Worthless fucktard.

  32. Fauztron

    You can’t get accepted into UFC if you are mentally unstable.” In the Cage School of Insanity, however, Intro to Mental Instability is still considered a core requirement.

  33. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    Fast Eddie
    Commented on this photo:

    move: Ultimate Line Dance

  34. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    Ismoss
    Commented on this photo:

    Move; Four fingered sphincter flutter of death.

  35. Burt

    Not impressed. I used to be trained by a guy who’s a high ranking member of the World Taekwondo Federation here in South Korea (he’s trained national teams, Olympic gold medalists, action movie stars…). I’ve seen an 18 year-old kid at his gym do a spinning roundhouse kick…One jump, three turns, connecting a different pad each turn before landing on the ground. I was standing behind the pads. That was kickass.

    • Panda Thunder

      Damn, that sounds bad ass Burt, I used to be trained by a guy that could do six turns. He often used it so ascend stairs when in a hurry or if the lift was out. Like a human helicopter.

      Unfortunately when attempting 7 turns he struck a low flying goose and was banned from more than 2 turns by the High Council of Shaolin and RSPCA who happened to be passing on the way to their centennial beach volleyball tournament.

      • Burt

        Real funny.

        PS. It’s no BS. Three turns. First pad was about 3 feet high off the ground, second was about 5 feet high and third was about 6 or 7 feet high. The landing was quite a sight, too. Amazing control and reflexes. He was preparing the trick for his 3rd degree test. This wasn’t my instructor, he was his intern (you can major in Taekwondo at university here).

  36. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    J
    Commented on this photo:

    Kimbo Slice is not a good UFC fighter. He is just an internet sensation. I don’t see how doing weird spinning kicks will help Weston much, and if his pregnant fiance can beat his ass I’m sure a 200+ lb muscled man will smash him to smithereens. There are lots of unstable people in the UFC- Tito Ortiz, for one, is a crazy SOB. In any case, it would be HILARIOUS to watch this guy get hammer fisted on.

  37. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a little late to be shooting for “dignity”, don’t you think?

  38. Weston Cage Karate Tattoo Nikki Williams
    VonStrangeDuck
    Commented on this photo:

    As a big fat Greek person I can confirm that the ridiculous tattoo ”ήρωας” translates ”hero”

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