Weston Cage is Doing Karate For The Paparazzi Again

“I’ll drop-kick you yet, Smurf that only I can see!”

While most of us wake up, grab a cup of coffee and prepare to work for a living, Weston Cage apparently starts his days by doing karate for the paparazzi now. Which is probably better than his usual routine of drinking until Satan’s face appears in the egg salad of random restaurants, demanding Weston order him with onion rings and fight to the death. Anyway, Weston has also taken to broadcasting his hopes and dreams to TMZ which now includes becoming a UFC fighter and challenging Kimbo Slice because that’ll prove he’s not crazy. You can’t make this shit up:

Cage told our photog he’s training to be a UFC fighter and his dream fight would be against the massive Kimbo Slice. Weston explains that part of the reason he wants to do this is because, “I just wanna prove to people I am not mentally ill … You can’t get accepted into UFC if you are mentally unstable.”

Good idea, but you know what really proves to people you’re not crazy? Not doing fucking karate in the middle of Beverly Hills. Also I hear a lot of people take you seriously when you don’t follow up getting your ass kicked by a pregnant woman with challenging a massive Bahamian-American fighting machine who started his career fighting in the streets, but I know all you’re reading is, “Amon Cthulu Ra, you are the true lord of ka-rah-tay.”

Photos: Bauer-Griffin