Weston Cage Did Karate Outside of a Restaurant

July 14th, 2011 // 147 Comments

Taking a page from Mel Gibson’s Guide to Crazy Fighting – “Remember, your opponent might be invisible, and that’s where they hide the blowjobs.” – Weston Cage and his freshly shaven-head put on a karate show for the paparazzi last night because he really needs people to believe he’s a skilled martial artist who can win at fights provided you’re not his babysitter or a pregnant woman. Outside of those two categories he will ruthlessly dismember you with precision moves just as soon as he gets his mascara on. It’ll just be a sec. “Does this look too Moulin Rouge? Because I’m going for more of a Captain Jack Sparrow. I shall not lie to you, his piratery amuses me so. CRANE KICK!”

Photos: GSI Media, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Weston Cage Karate
    Ish Kabibble
    Commented on this photo:

    Jealous of such a good-looking young buck? You bet I am.

  2. neo

    bald head, painted toes, barefoot, bat shit crazy…you sure its not nic cage, not his son.

  3. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    What martial arts skills, everyone keeps kicking is poser-loser ass. He is such a loser because he will never live up to his daddy’s image, looks or money.

  4. Weston Cage Karate
    Jdizzle
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that what Randy Jackson does between American Idol seasons?

  5. jlover

    Dad-A-Chack? Dum-A-Chum? Did-A-Chick? Dod-A-Chock, right?

  6. Phukaduck

    He looks like a cross between Capt. Jack Sparrow and a homeless mental patient.

  7. Mos Eisley

    Hey Weston…Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.

  8. little turtle head

    You guys can make fun of him if you want but I fought him before.. When I came to I had pissed all over myself when I was unconscious… He’s a tough guy…

  9. Doesn't Care

    Needs more Andy Dick

  10. HEY HICK FUCK YOU!

    Karateeeeee CHOP!

  11. His kung fu skill level falls somewhere in between the Pink Ranger & Hong Kong Phooey. Hadogan!!!

  12. Scott

    I’m finding it hard to believe anyone gives a crap about this guy. He doesn’t deserve as many posts as Lindsay used to get, that’s for sure.

  13. A disgrace to all practitioners of Rex Kwan Do.

    • RoboZombie

      Yes!
      “Take a look at what I’m wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I’m a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it! “

    • I took lessons from Westin for a while. He told me “before you can truly master karate, you must snatch the herpes sore from my elbow”. So I never went back and just bought a gun.

  14. cc

    The Karate Skid

  15. Weston Cage Karate
    ashley
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says “I’m a bad ass, stealth Ninja” like the smell of cigarettes.

  16. Weston Cage Karate
    Ms. Poodle
    Commented on this photo:

    Dignity shot. Also- he can’t fake kick with his shoes on? Chuck Norris can. I rest my case.

  17. General Disarray

    It’s pronounced kah-rah-tay. And if you don’t say it that way then you’re not a true badass.

  18. Deacon Jones

    I like the lit cigarette/spinning jump kick combo

  19. EmmaWatson's Vagina

    it’s revenge of the pathetic panther

  20. RoboZombie

    Those are Green Belt moves…a little sloppy

  21. Oogidyboogidy

    To quote Bruce Lee: “Boards do not strike back.” Neither does the empty air, Wes.

  22. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone needs to photoshop a banana peel on the ground.

  23. Cock Dr

    Decompensation is never pretty no matter how much mascara is slathered on it.
    This guy needs treatment. He needs help.

  24. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks creepily like his dad here.

  25. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    That is so cheesy.

  26. Weston Cage Karate
    Onyx Blackman
    Commented on this photo:

    The dude actually took off his shoes? Damn.

  27. HarveyF

    Ridiculous dumbshit.

  28. hey he can do the splits, which is more than most of you stripmall ninjas. imagine he’ll also has a career in ballet if this doesn’t work out. ki-yaaah, fuckface!

  29. DANCING WITH THE STARS MEL

    NOT BAD SWEETIE NOW DO IT WITH A SMILE ON UR FACE.

  30. Move:
    Shoe-Gum Removal of Fury

  31. Turd Ferguson

    Worthless Diva Emo Fucktard.

  32. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Shoe-Gum Removal of Fury.

  33. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Zorba the Eliminator

  34. Hey look, it’s Bruce Lee’s cousin, Ug Lee.

  35. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Crispin Glover on Letterman.

  36. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Testicle Root Blossom.

  37. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Angry Fart Helper.

  38. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Bolshevic Death Squad.

  39. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Wrath of the Turd on the Doorstep.

  40. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    The Hillbilly Cornhole. Of Fury.

  41. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Toy Robot of Death.

  42. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Tiptoe Through the Tulips of the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

  43. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Dual Orifice Entrail Removal Service.

  44. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Cement Jockstrap.

  45. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Lit Cigarette to the Flipcam Man Urethra.

  46. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Your Mother’s Vagina, Your Daddy’s Anus: The Aftermath.

  47. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Man Breaks Water.

  48. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Chest Impaling Foot Removal of the Raven

  49. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    Vanilla Ice’s Eyebrow of Agony.

  50. Weston Cage Karate
    Commented on this photo:

    Move:
    The To-go Box of Devastation.

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