So The Weston Cage Story is Entirely Different Now

June 13th, 2011 // 88 Comments

When the Weston Cage getting his face punched-in 13 times story first broke, initial reports suggested he got into a dispute with his personal trainer who wouldn’t let him order something at a restaurant. Turns out it wasn’t his trainer but a man named Kevin Villegas who’s paid by Nicolas Cage to keep an eye on Little Lord Gotheroy who apparently went missing last week. TMZ reports:

But Tuesday, when Weston went M.I.A — sources tell us Nic dispatched Kevin to track down the 21-year-old and bring him home. Kevin quickly located his target in L.A., but we’re told, Weston was resistant and aggressive — even threatening to rip off Kevin’s “Christian fucking head.”
Sources tell us Kevin immediately reported the situation to Nic … who instructed Kevin to call 911. When Weston realized cops were on the way he flipped out and attacked Kevin with the roundhouse kick.
We’re told Kevin — who served with the U.S. military — feared for his life because Weston is a highly-trained fighter … and attacked Cage with a flurry of punches.

So, basically this story went from Weston Cage getting his ass kicked by his aerobics instructor for not ordering a salad to Weston Cage getting his ass kicked by his babysitter for running away from home. Jesus. How soon until we find out he puts on a blonde wig and becomes Taylor Momsen? Because that’s really the only place left for this to go.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. thee tr00 insultor of weston cage

    What a fucking buttdart.

  2. asdf

    I always laugh my ass off at guys think they’re so ~black metal~ and have dyed black hair. Vanity ist krieg.

  3. Pasta Rocks!

  4. I can still see your eyes. Try harder, 8th grader.

  5. cc

    I am going to rush over to vampirefreaks and check out his profile…it has to be there.

  6. Chesterfield

    He kind of looks like Kloe Kardashian.

    But her soul patch is bigger.

  7. “I punched the shit out of his face because his martial skills made me fear for my life” will be my standard excuse for, like, everything from now on.

  8. the captain

    you like to hear the truth about the bankruptcy of the united states?
    well, THE COUNTRY IS FULL OF THESE SORT OF MORONS, folks!!

  9. Does an emo black belt cut himself with the board before he breaks it?

  10. Just Fucking Say It

    Kudos to Nick Cage and his excellent parenting skills. This kid could have easily gone the urban white rapper route in which case someone would have accidentally been shot.

  11. Samantha

    all of his accessories.. those retard gloves, the 4 pimp rings, the nail polish, the gollum eyeballs, and so on.. all of them failed to distract me from his weird nappy ass “bicep” hair.. use a straight razor on that shiz and then take it to your wrist.. kthxbye

  12. Veronica

    Little Lord Gotheroy – Tee hee

    Must be hard for him to try to outfreak his dad. A lot to live up to. Is his Mum one of the Arquettes?

  13. Elihu Smails

    This youngster needs discipline and tough love – and a hair cut !

  14. Basil Pemberton

    Looks like a proper ruffian , a scalawag , a blighter , a bounder , a layabout and a scoundrel.

  15. HLM

    I kinda feel sorry for Nic. Can you imagine realizing that you are a humongous douche and you’ve actually lent your sperm to bring another humongous douche into this world? And then to find out that he’s a bigger, less capable douche?!? No wonder Nic drinks so much.

  16. Nicolas Cage Son Weston Cage
    Meh
    Commented on this photo:

    Douche. Bag.

  17. YUCKY!

    What a douche! Someone needs to tell this kid the goth look is over.

  18. Viking burger flipper

    black metal is teh ghey

  19. Nicolas Cage Son Weston Cage
    Dirtyjo
    Commented on this photo:

    lol what a poser

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