Weston Cage‘s wife of only four months Nikki Williams has huge breasts so you’d just assume he’d be doing everything in his power to have sex with them as much as possible. Things like, I dunno, not doing karate on the sidewalk every time the paparazzi go, “Hey, look, it’s Nicolas Cage’s batshit son!” Then again, Weston is a proud warrior who’s last two opponents humiliated him in battle, and has now become a man obsessed with finally winning in combat even if it includes fighting himself which apparently they’ll arrest your ass right up for. *presses intercom* Yeah, need you to cancel an appointment. Get a hold of me and tell me not to punch me in the face at 12:30. I’ll probably get testy with you, so be firm, but don’t be afraid to touch me freely about the genitals until I curl into the fetal position. It’s the only way I’ll learn. TMZ reports:
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ, Weston was arrested at 5AM in Hollywood — and then taken to a nearby hospital to be treated for cuts … and we’re told, cops believe the injuries were self-inflicted.
TMZ spoke with the mother of Weston’s wife Nikki Williams — who tells us, “Nikki is safe and away from him.”
WESTON: Teach me the ways of the UFC, so I can prove I’m not crazy and become a Jedi Knight like my father.
TRAINER: To become a true fighter, you must first win a battle against your greatest opponent: you. Only then-
WESTON: Done! *wheel kicks self into coffee table*
(How that probably happened.)
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Pacific Coast News (8,000th Post – MR)
First!
Why is Randy Jackson part of the paps core now?
Ignore this derp derp, focus on the redhead with large breasts.
This dude is hilariously better than any stupid models or socialites. His wifey is a fucking smokeshow!!! Totally would let that whore carve my chest up with a bottle while I licked her asshole. Bravo fair Weston!
Which to you suppose smells worse? His patent leather shoes after a night of sockless roundhouse kicks, or her dress shields after a night of shame and humiliation in being seen with him?
You know there’s always gonna be a guy here who’ll want to smell her dress shields.
Sorry, hetero here… WTF is a dress shield?
It goes in the crotch of a dress to prevent babies from falling out…at least that’s what I read on urbandictionary.com
And you say this thing has procreated? Great…….just great.
When did his wife turn into that chick from Glee?
What a bizarre human being.
Wow, just look at the skulls embroidered on his shirt with the sleeves cut off, and the leather cuffs he wears. He’s so scary!
I’m sorry, I didn’t notice. I got hung up on the mysterious patch missing from his eyebrows.
Worthless poser.
To quote Nathan Explosion, “Hi, I’m brains, I go in your head!”
If this guy were to fight Kimbo Slice it would be like that scene where King Kong fights a T-Rex, except in this case the T-Rex would be a retarded baby.
I’d like to titi fuck those bazongus!
I think don’t he’s playing that rich actors son too well. If it was me, my hardest days would be, going to the gym, grooming, give to charity while I call the press about it. At night, I hit the clubs and be surrounded by hot models and bottles. Next day I repeat. See how ambitious I am?
Look…it’s very obvious that Weston is batshit crazy. He offers an unsafe environment for his wife and child. I have a solution for Nikki that will be beneficial for all. She needs to come live with me. I will gladly fuck the shi….umm…take care of her. She will be many, many miles away from the douche which will give him ample room to implode. Leave the duck face trailer trash whore there with Weston. They can flame out together.
Nikki…call me.
This guy’s fucking JWoww?
She looks more like Lea Michelle, than she does JWoww…
I think his wife is ridiculously hot. Why can’t SHE be in a Maxim shoot or something?
She’s seriously on my top 5 list right now.
Agreed DJ. She is one hot babe!
1. Why does he always look dingy?
2. How much is he paying the redhead?
3. So, she is pregnant, I have a hard time believing that the activity was consensual. Matter of fact, she most likely cried for the full 30 seconds.
I can’t not stare at her boobs. It’s physically impossible.
How did this happen? His wife is pretty damn delicious looking and he’s a few cards short of a full deck. Kind of makes ya wonder. If I start acting like a perpetually drunk and aggressive karate instructor will I start getting some really prime trim?
No my dear General. no…
IF you see her face, stop starring at her booobs but look at the face, she kinda has that lost look that drug users have, most of the pics her eyes look dead,
she is clearly a substance abuser, and
he is the pusher, I am willing to bet my condom collection he is the pusher
something about her eyes and expression
Look how happy she is to be in the limelight. She’s not gold digging at all.
Why is Shauna Sand there? Is she going to kick his ass, too?
You can tell by the shoes that that’s not Shauna Sand.
Looks like Ra’s al Ghul had one too many dips in the Lazurus Pit
If Weston wants to be a bad ass MMA fighter why does he want to fight Kimbo Slice? Kimbo fought only a handful of matches and when it became clear that despite being a tough guy he wasn’t cut out for a pro career he stopped. I think he’s trying to start a boxing career now. Saying you want to prove how great a fighter you are by going up against a guy who is now past his prime and no longer fighting anyway is like saying you want to show how great an intellect you are by beating a retarded kid in a long division contest.
wtf is he wearing a Pipboy 3000?
Well wouldn’t you wear it if you had one?
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Weston, get a job.
What a fucking douchebag
She gives me an urge to beat off.
I can’t wait until she does porn to pay the bills. She obviously married the guy because of his family status (seriously, the guy is fucking hideous and obviously a complete tool), and I think it’s becoming apparent he’s not going to amount to jack shit.
remember when white hollywood punks were known for sitting around shootin h all day feelin sorry for themselves stead of whoring it up for the cameras.. this kid’s having major expectant father crazies.
it’s a true shame of the united states in general this moron is photographed.
Are we sure he didn’t get arrested for looking like a huge douche? That’s an arrest-able crime, right? Please?
Hai Karate – Be Careful How You Use It ™
fake boobs
Stop reporting on this idiot.
Tired of seeing this whackjob on here every day.
Thanks.
Whether it’s this asshole or britney spears – if you are the paparazzi’s pick of the week AND you shave your head during said week — you are likely in need of a 5150.
what mother wouldn’t be proud that her daughter is not only married to but knocked up by Weston Cage.
Who the fuck cares?
He’s the nobody son of a really bad actor.
Since Barack Obama has lowered the POTUS bar to an unprecedented level, I have just one thing to say:
Weston Cage for President of the United States in 2012
Anything is possible in this one great country of ours. Let’s make it happen, he can’t do any worse of a job.
4 months ago the chick must have known that Nic Cage was broke. So why would she marry his son?
Now I feel bad for my last 47 comments on this guy. He needs help.
Dude seriously how much is Weston Cage paying you to write about him constantly? His wife is mediocre, I have no idea who he is, and I dont think I could care any less about anyone beating him up.
Ew she looks like j woww with a bad dye job.
She looks so proud of the great catch she managed to get. What the hell has this dipshit done besides make himself look like a fucking douche on wheels but without the wheels?
I don’t know who’s crazier here….the chick that had sex with the son of a broke dick actor or the bat shit crazy son of a broke dick actor.
Move: no trouble in little china (mostly because there are people around and he doesnt want to get his ass kicked)
yeah.. genie pants forever!!!
hmmm what to wear with genie pants and a pirate shirt?? pointy shoes! ofcourse
Now I know why is he is determined to learn martial arts…Shauna Sand is stalking him.
Well, here is what I have ascertained so far. He found a genie in a bottle, somehow took his pants, and one of his wishes was a girlfriend with great breasts.
who the fuck is that chick with the fake tits ?
A golddigger with poor taste
Nikki is jugtastic.
Get those nice cans away from lunatic boy ASAP.