Weston Cage is Single, Ladies. And Apparently Your Daddy.
“Wait, aren’t you the babysitter who kicked my ass? — Can we go to McDonald’s?”
Despite her awesome, huge breasts, Weston Cage has officially divorced his wife Nikki Williams after six months of marriage which still makes two crazy alcoholics who beat the fuck out of each other more genuinely in love than Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, but I digress. As is his wont, Weston took to Facebook to announce the news:
WELL ITS OFFICAL . THE DIVORCE IS SETTLED! ………………LADIES, DADDY IS BACK ahahahhahahaahh oh god! its on
And by “oh god! its on,” I can only assume that means Weston Cage walked outside and got his ass kicked by a parking meter. “How dare you demand copper coins from a mighty warrior of unparalleled strength and sanity- OHMYGOD! IT’S GOT ME IN A CHOKE HOLD! I’m tapping out! I’m tapping out! DADDDD!”