Wesley Snipes gets 3 years in prison

Wesley Snipes pretty much decided in 1999 that he’s not going to pay taxes anymore. Considering he was, at the time not so much now, a major movie star the government kind of noticed that he wasn’t paying them a nice chunk of change. Eight years later, hello, welcome to your three prison sentence. Though some are actually calling the trial a victory for Wesley Snipes because he ducked five of the eight charges including felony tax fraud and conspiracy. Wesley, however, made a last minute move to appease the government by cutting them a check for $5 million. It, uh, didn’t work. The AP reports:

So taken aback were prosecutors that they first declined the cash. But by the end of the day, the government took the money and more — a maximum three-year sentence for its highest-profile criminal tax target in decades.
“The sentencing court sends the right message to the American taxpayer — you’ve got to pay your taxes,” U.S. Attorney Robert O’Neill told reporters outside the usually quiet central Florida courthouse. “Rich, poor, it doesn’t matter. We all pay our taxes.”

Even stranger is the fact that, afterwards, Wesley Snipes was actually smiling outside the courthouse and flashing the peace sign. Somebody needs to explain to Blade that he’s going to jail where his fellow inmates will pretend his ass is a vampire and you guys can do the math on what they’ll use for a wooden stake. Answer key at the bottom. Please show your work.

Answer Key: X = The square root of a whole lotta butt sex.

Photo: Getty Images