1. The Forgotten — $22 million
I forgot to wear protection once and got a ton of supermodels pregnant. That’s one of those nights I’d very much like to forget about. I don’t know what any of this has to do with the movie, but supermodels get pregnant really easily. And believe you me, when they get pregnant they don’t let you ever forget.
2. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow — $6.74 million
Why is it that people with accents are so much more appealing to women? It’s not fair, dammit.
3. Mr. 3000 — $5 million
There’s something about Bernie Mac’s speech that makes everything he says about 8x funnier than it actually is. And considering what he says is funny to begin with, you can be damn sure that the end result is absolute gold.
4. First Daughter – $4 million
I don’t want to say that this movie looks like a piece of crap or anything, but seriously, it looks like a complete piece of crap. Katie Holmes is cute and all, but unless she’s having some hardcore sex in the film, I’m really not interested.
5. Resident Evil: Apocalypse — $4 million