Warrant issued for Lindsay Lohan’s arrest. BOOM!

May 20th, 2010 // 42 Comments

ABOUT. FUCKING. TIME.

The judge in Lindsay Lohan’s probation case has issued a bench warrant for Lindsay’s arrest after she failed to appear in court this morning forcing her lawyer to use the bullshit stolen passport excuse. TMZ reports:

Judge Revel set bail at $100,000 and said Lindsay can post bail and remain free until the next court hearing, IF she does the following:
- drink no alcohol
- wear a SCRAM bracelet
- submit to random drug testing at least once a week
Lohan’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, told the judge the story TMZ broke — that Lindsay claimed her passport was stolen and she tried getting on a flight to make it on time but was turned away.
At one point Holley said, “I don’t know what else to tell you.”
But the judge didn’t buy Lindsay’s argument, saying “Actions speak louder than words.” The judge felt Lindsay could have gotten a replacement passport and made it back on time. And, the judge said Lindsay had “a history of not keeping scheduled appointments.”

While it’s almost erotic to see the book finally thrown at Lindsay, I don’t know about wasting taxpayer’s money trying to make her wear a SCRAM bracelet. Does anyone honestly believe it won’t explode on impact? One probably self-detonated in the box just hearing her name whispered.

Photos: Flynet, WENN
superficial

  1. Anonymous

    An incredibly worthless person.

  2. fritboom

    Slut!

  3. FrankNfrtr

    Come on back home Lindsay….everyone’s waiting for you!

  4. Gigs

    Someone just kill her already

  5. Jmie

    YESSSSSSSSS!

  6. groan

    When she gets back from France they’ll throw her in the cannes.

  7. Sport

    This decision was made much too hastily!

    I’m sure the judge could have made some sort of deal where her passport is PERMANENTLY stolen and she would never return to the US.

    Nice work, judge lady.

  8. Bowman

    Another “celebrity” whose only claim to fame is being a trainwreck. Luckily she lives in L.A. which means a slap on the wrist when she finally shows up for court, while you or I would be put UNDER the fucking jail.

  9. oh i know

    c’mon everybody, let’s hear the what “SCRAM” acronym REALLY means in LilLo’s case…I haven’t had my 3rd coffee yet so MY brain isn’t sharp enough but I know my fellow Fish followers will make me proud :)

  10. jumpin_j

    I’m with GW here. An arrest warrant at last? I think I wet my pants.

  11. arealcad

    Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor. It’s a brand name of an alcohol monitoring device.

    http://www.alcoholmonitoring.com/index

    * Be within 30 feet of the base station daily at the agreed-upon time to download your test data
    * Consume no alcohol – NONE
    * Do not tamper with, obstruct, or damage equipment

  12. DJS

    Its all a big joke anyway, arrest warrent, like she would actually serve any time. She would just arrange a payment to some California offical and be out in a few hours like all the rest of them.

  13. cc

    “ABOUT. FUCKING. TIME.” What more is there to say? Oh yes…”What a stupid, stupid bitch.”

    Imagine being her lawyer and trying to think of excuses ‘Your honor, as a result of continental drift, her flight back is taking an extra 24 hours. Were that not the case, she’d definitely be here.’

  14. Pat

    blah blah blah

    like there will be any follow-through on this…don’t hold your breath

  15. bar room hero

    The black hair makes her look like shite…

    freckles with black hair, WTF ?

  16. stevebrt

    does this bitch even have $100,000 anymore

  17. TJ

    Funny she always seemed to have time to be on Facebook… but not to go to her alcohol class huh?

  18. Best. Post. Ever.

    This made my day.

  19. YAA

    HAHAHAA, I’m with you Bess!!! this is awesome; she better not get any special treatment or I’ll be super pissed

  20. Tek

    Agree with #14.

  21. Nogreatsurpriseshere

    About time, but you have to feel a little sorry for her as she has the most fucktardish parents of all time so it’s not massively surprising. Maybe she will do a polansky and not return to the US for 20 years….

  22. Lindsay would have to pay the costs of getting a SCRAM (which is not cheap). The taxpayers do not pick up that cost, although she is costing them money by wasting the court’s time.

  23. bitch PLEASE

    I remember this chic as a little girl making movies with a big happy smile on her face in every interview she did….I wonder at what point in her life did she go wrong…

  24. sborraInBoca

    Meh, I’d still hit it. Conjugal visits ftw.

  25. Parker

    I’m not saying it would help her but many women have benefitted from long hours of solid anal sex. I’m talking gang bang stuff. Hours of it. All in her ass. Just putting that out there. If she wants to try it, give it a shot.

  26. Randal

    Lindsay, sending support your way so you can get through these difficult times. Stay strong, your fans are thinking of you now and always.

    Randal

  27. Badger Bob

    #13, thanks for letting us know what SCRAM (bracelet) stands for, saves us from having to wiki it.

    Does the SCRAM bracelet thing actually work? I haven’t heard of an effective skin monitor for alcohol consumption before… So you can snort all you like while wearing this thing?

    Sober or not, I really can’t imagine that Lohan would even bother to show up at the base station at a set time. And ‘submit to random drug testing at least once a week’ ? HAHAHAHHAHAHA She doesn’t even show up to the mandated alcohol class once a week, and shit, you can sleep through those…

  28. Grats SFW you can’t tell a drunk from a pill junkie!

  29. Mr.Sinister

    HA, HA…….nuf said

  30. scram

    Yes, SCRAM is *extremely* effective. Assuming there’s some dreamworld out there where a judge actually made her wear one, taking a single sip would set the thing off. They’re highly accurate, 99.9% tamper proof and if you don’t go near the remote station so it can send off your readings at least once a day that sets it off too.

    Of course back in the real world, never in a million years is she gonna actually be forced to wear one. We can dream.

  31. puddleduck

    tragic hot mess who doesn’t even deserve to called a “celebrity” … she is pathetic

  32. Hours of it. All the ass. Just put that out there. If he wants to try it, give it a shot. He does not even appear in the alcohol classes sent once a week, and shit, you can sleep with them.

  33. MayBMayBKnot

    LiLo definately has an obvious drinking problem. That doesn’t make her a bad person tho…she’s actually quite talented. Id like to see her get the help she needs so she can get back to work and pick up her career where she left off

  34. Very valuable information, I am very grateful

  35. Christian Louboutin Slingback Sandals
    $268.00
    Brand: Christian Louboutin Slingback Sandals
    Manufacturer: Christian louboutin Asia factory
    Quality: first grade
    Toe: peep toe
    Heels high:5″
    Heels shape: thin
    Size: 41-35 (regular shoes cize)
    Color:black
    Vamp: calf leather (lace-up and tasseled ties)
    Shoe Lining: leather
    Packaging: all shoes brand new come with Christian Louboutin original box,shoes bag and tissue paper
    Select Dear Customer:
    1. Free Shipping on all orders,5-10 days to worldwide.
    2.100%Satisfaction and Quality Guarantee.
    3. We accept payment by credit card (Visa/ Master).
    4. If you have any problems, please contact our customer service.
    5. Live chat on line or email to us.

  36. Lauren

    I didn’t want to see her fall, but fuck..

    Does she WANT to appear as a basket-case-princess so people find her ‘tormented’ & ‘tragic’? It’s like watching a teenager push & push too see what she can get away with.

    Honestly, with parents like that I can’t imagine she’d turn out any other way though..

  37. captain america

    …….JUSTICE or JAILTIME for all!!

  38. j

    Actually it wont be taxpayer’s money paying for the SCRAM, the SCRAM payments are based on that particular person’s income for the previous year

  39. Mikey J

    I hear Roman Polanski has a place for her to stay – while this blows over…

Leave A Comment