The Police Caught War Machine Without Dog The Bounty Hunter? Impossible

August 18th, 2014 // 74 Comments
Christy Mack War Machine
Dog's Closing In
Dog The Bounty Hunter
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You can shoot an unarmed black kid six times in this country without most people batting an eye, but you’ll be goddamned if you beat the shit out of a porn star because we need them to jerk off. So after an intensive manhunt, US Marshals have finally arrested MMA fighter War Machine who’s apparently not that hard to find. Just look for the trail of women he keeps smacking around. KTLA reports:

“And they were like banging on the door, trying to get it open, and they’re like, ‘Open the door, open the door,” Nicolle Blankenship said. “Finally when they got it open they yelled, ‘Gun,’ and then all of a sudden you see them shoot him with a Taser. And he got shot with a Taser and he went down to the floor, and then they handcuffed him.”
Once officers were inside the room, they discovered “a small quantity of cash and some pizza,” a police news release stated.
Hotel guest Mary Casamento said she called police to the hotel after seeing a “big dude” yelling at and pushing a petite woman who was trying to calm him down. He grabbed her by the hair, Casamento said.

Of course the real question on everyone’s mind is where the hell was Dog The Bounty Hunter? Would you believe WRESTLING SNAKES?

Cops went to War Machine’s home in the San Diego area this morning to remove two of his exotic snakes. According to an officer … Dog the Bounty Hunter was also there.

That’s right. When Dog comes for you, he comes for your snakes, brah. And then gets on Facebook:

We got Dog at LAX Saturday when he talked about his manhunt for the MMA fighter, who cops caught Friday. Dog says he’s never used social media before, but he’ll never be without it again, after his troops mobilized in an incredible way.

“At first there was a lot of confusion and people pouring ice over their heads – probably some drug thing, brah, you know how it is – but, listen to me closely, when the Dog’s army gets mobilized, they’re an unstoppable force for telling me the guy I’ve been hunting was already arrested four hours ago. I got like 25 messages on my phone here, brah. Now I don’t know how to respond to them, or hell, even open them. But they’re there, brah, lying, waiting. So you better ask yourself: Where you gonna be when the Dog friend requests you?”

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  1. j/k

    Rule #1 for being on the run after you’ve committed a crime:
    Stop committing the crime.

  2. Cletus

    Unless you’re a criminal in Missouri. You don’t get to go on the run, you get the hot lead of justice.

  3. Rico Jones

    Michael Brown was a thug piece of shit. I’m not going to cry over some dead punk that just moments earlier robbed a store.

    • I had sympathy for that kid until the FACTS came out that he was a piece of shit thief. how about that surveillance video of him gripping up the little old man he STOLE from? don’t want a run-in with the police? try NOT STEALING. fuck the bleeding hearts, he was no ‘innocent kid’. he got shot? boo fucking hoo. DON’T STEAL and don’t walk down the MIDDLE of the street after you’ve been stealing and you won’t get shot.

      • Antistuff (@antistuff)

        Defending that kid’s killing only makes sense if you think the US judicial system is really inconvenient.

        So go with that then you maniacs and hope you never get the strong arm of the law come at you as cop, judge, jury & executioner.

      • Amazing the cop knew to shoot Brown BEFORE he knew Brown was a suspect in a robbery. That’s some prescient judgment shit right there.

      • nomnomnom

        Everyone so quick to judge without all the facts. New video from a witness came out saying that the dude was coming for the cop, not running, backing up the cops claims.

      • Bryan

        This is exactly it. I will bet a million internet bucks that the second people like Fish heard “black person shot 6 times by white cop,” the entire narrative was concrete in their mind. Likewise, Fox News commentators instantly knew with certainty the black person was a thuggish miscreant who had it coming.

      • Joe blow

        He was reaching for his gun, thats grounds to shoot, cause i bet you dollars to doughnuts if he got a hold of the cops gun he would have shot

      • Mitch

        Speaking of rushing to judgement, how about you wait for the facts to come out before you start blowing shit out your ass and calling it fact.

        Unless you were there and saw it with your own eyes, wait to find out what really happened. The problem with this uneducated country of ours is that someone can lie about a situation, the media reports it as fact and all of a sudden the brothers are out looting tennis shoes, cell phones and hoopty rims.

      • holykempisstupid

        Except that he intially drove past the two subjects as they refused to get out of the middle of the street. The description for the robbery suspects came out and he realized those were the kids, backed his car in reverse, tried to get out of his car, and was assaulted. AMAZING that you have the PRESCIENT knowledge of what happened before you get the fully story. Oh wait. You don’t. Moron.

    • JC

      So we have the death penalty for stealing a pack of smokes, now? Well, I guess that will thin out the ranks of junior high school kids.

      • a pack of smokes huh? try a $50 box of cigars, and also try to pull your head out of your ass and watch the surveillance video of him gripping up a little old man who tried to stop him. what if that was your father, your brother? no mercy for thieves. don’t wanna get shot? don’t fucking rob a store and then walk down the middle of the street afterwards. pretty sure he just would have been on his merry way had he not ROBBED and ASSAULTED someone.

      • JC

        I should know better than to engage with someone who probably masturbates to the idea of a race war, but hey, it’s either that or do work: If you can’t see why an extrajudicial execution for misdemeanor theft–a crime that in most states will get you a fine or a few days of community service–is bad for everyone, then I don’t know what to tell you.

      • you’ve typically omitted the response regarding the ‘gentle giant’ physically assaulting an old man two feet shorter than him, after ROBBING him no less. bravo, bravo. not unexpected, mind you.

      • JC

        You’ve typically ignored the fact that two misdemeanor charges still doesn’t merit the death penalty without a trial by jury. Not unexpected, mind you. Hope you never run a red light while failing to signal–by your logic, the officer is justified in putting a bullet in your head right at the side of the road.

      • Joe blow

        Hey tried to go for the cops gun, what do you think he was gonna do with it?

      • Mitch

        True, misdemeanor charges don’t merit getting shot by a cop, and that’s not even what allegedly happened.

        Allegedly assaulting a cop, trying to grab his weapon and causing it to discharge in the car, running away and then bumrushing the cop when he has his gun drawn on you IS a reason to get shot by a cop.

        It doesn’t matter whether this guy was black, white or yellow, that kind of behavior can get you killed.

      • Hey jackass. Google the continuum of force and then realize that the officer is not allowed to fire on a fleeing, unarmed suspect simply because he doesn’t feel like chasing him.

      • Keith

        Agree. That why the shopping malls of America are littered with the bodies of white teenage girls shoplifting $50 dresses from Forever 21.

      • @The Jackie Puppet
        “don’t wanna get shot? don’t fucking rob a store and then walk down the middle of the street afterwards. pretty sure he just would have been on his merry way had he not ROBBED and ASSAULTED someone”

        Umm, no. That should read, “don’t wanna get shot? don’t walk down the middle of the street.” The end. The police chief himself said the “officer did not know Brown was a robbery suspect when he shot Brown and that the incident was tied only to Wilson’s request that he move out of the street.” From the Chicago Tribune. You literally have zero argument.

      • and you have literally the smell of shit on your lips from having your head up your ass. were you there? do we know he didn’t assault the officer in the car like he assaulted the old man in the shop that he ROBBED? no, you don’t. OH, the Chicago Tribune printed ‘facts’? its GOT TO be true! moron.

      • @The Jackie Puppet

        Your lack of intelligence makes me wonder what you call your dad/uncle. Is it Duncle or Unclad?

      • Rico Jones

        There is shoplifting and then there is aggressive robbery. And I am just fine with killing robbers. Michael Brown should have been shot dead at the store by the owner. He got lucky. He was allowed to walk the streets one last time before he got what he deserved.

      • Frankly

        The unfortunate thing is that there is no one who gets through teaching these young men not to rob, black or white, and now this kid’s death has just become an excuse to rob more. I think the officer clearly fucked up based only on what I’ve read, but how can we fix this problem? I’m not sure we can. The kid was a thug. I don’t think he deserved to get shot down in the street, but he was a thug. No one is helping these kids at early age. They are poor, entitled, angry, unaccountable and no one in society gives a shit really. Those who do can’t fix it. It’s systemic failure and we’re all fucked. You have to do your work as a parent, because eventually you won’t be around and the environmental pull is so fucking strong, if you’re in these kinds of communities, the kids only understand one thing: if you want it, take it. It sucks for us and it sucks for them. The ones who escape it really deserve the attention. But, i’m not condoning what the officer did. Too many dickhead cops get swallowed by their own megalomaniacal current. Two sides, same issue. Entitlement.

    • some black dude

      I wish that Missouri cop had directed a few of those bullets to this piece of dog shit. I love Christy Mack. She was nice to me at the porn convention.

    • …a long time ago, i simply resigned myself to the fact that there is a portion of the population who will always voice full, rabid support of shooting & killing unarmed black people, no matter what the facts or circumstances …and “debating” them on the issue is fucking pointless.
      #PostRacialAmericaMyAss

  4. Rivka

    “You can shoot an unarmed black kid six times in this country without most people batting an eye…”

    The story’s been all over the national news since it happened. If that’s not “batting an eye,” what is?

    • Bryan

      You forget that in Fish’s mind, everyone in the country except him, Matt Taibbi and a few writers from the DailyKos are backwards racist idiots. Also, all of us puppets on his site.

      • To be fair, quite a few of you are backwards racist idiots, as illustrated in the comments here daily.

      • Mitch

        To be fair, a lot of you are ignorant liberal douchebags who believe everything the internet tells you, relieving you of having to wait for the facts, use your brain and think for yourself.

  5. Wolfy

    Or if you want to part of a new “civil moment” in an attempt to defend criminals and give meaning to your stepdad-enduced, emotionally traumatized [but not really] life, act morally outraged without having any complete facts while yelling at all other people for jumping to conclusions far too quickly that you don’t agree with. Sound about right, Fish?

  6. Cock Dr

    I hope the woman above is able to completely recover from the horrible beating she sustained, and I hope an hours long hailstorm of biblical proportions opens up over Ferguson tonight. Shit needs to cool down before more people die.

  7. Rivka

    “You can shoot an unarmed black kid six times in this country without most people batting an eye…”

    The “kid” in question weighed 292 lbs. and was 6′ 4″ tall. There are video and still images online of him strong-arm robbing a convenience store minutes before he was shot and killed by a cop. (Many people say this is irrelevant, especially as the reason he was initially stopped by a cop was because he was walking down the middle of a street and blocking traffic. But it’s relevant if we consider that the story of him assaulting the cop, then walking away, then turning around and charging at the cop might be true. It’s relevant because it speaks to his state of mind and propensity on the day in question to get physical.)

    It’s true that he was unarmed and was shot six times. Although many people have claimed he was shot in the back, the autopsy shows otherwise (but a second autopsy has been ordered by the DOJ). Some people claim he was shot while surrendering with his hands up. But audio in the background of a video taken at the scene has a witness saying that Brown was shot while charging/bum rushing at the cop who shot him, and that the cop kept shooting when the 6′ 4″ 292 lb. Brown didn’t stop.

    Of course, racists will insist that Brown deserved to be shot and killed and many people who lean left will insist that it’s IMPOSSIBLE that the cop was justified in firing his weapon at Brown. Coming at something like this from a position of bias is, well, either you would do that for Machiavellian reasons (in which case you would spin the story whichever way you think might benefit your agenda, facts and reality be damned) or you would do that because you’re lacking in the critical thinking dept.

    • THANK YOU. and what about the news this morning of the white kid (Dan Maksimenko, 22yo) delivering pizza in north St. Louis who was ROBBED, then SHOT IN THE HEAD AND KILLED while doing his job? where’s the media OUTRAGE? where are the RIOTS in protest of his cold blooded murder by black thugs???

      what about THAT, Fish?

      • Leftcoastnative

        The story to which you are referring occurred in May of 2012, not yesterday.

      • WELL, WHY ISN’T THERE STILL *OUTRAGE* AND MEDIA COVERAGE OF IT IN 2014?????:?????!??!?!??!?% IT’S BECAUSE HE WAS *WHITE*, ISN’T IT????!?!?!??!?!? BLARGH! AUGH!

      • Mitch

        Who gives a shit when it happened? Since it wasn’t a black kid gettng shot by a white cop, Obama and the rest of the media can’t use it.

        Every weekend in Chicago dozens of blacks are shot by dozens of blacks and you don’t hear a peep out of Obama, Holder, Jesse or Al.

      • Because in most of those cases, the person who did the shooting is caught, tried, and incarcerated; not sent home on paid suspension.

      • Leftcoastnative

        Oh, and the community cooperated with the investigation and the suspected murderer was in jail within 24 hours.

    • Bryan

      Good going, Rivka. Now we can look forward to a whiny smugpost later about how all of us wholeheartedly support white people gunning down black children.

      • cletus

        Black “children” already do a pretty good job of gunning each other down.

        Guess that’s whitey’s fault too…

      • Bryan

        In many ways, yes, it is.

      • Eat a black dick, Bryan. It’s time blacks take responsibility for their own shit. If they’re committing crimes and murdering each other in the streets like animals it’s their own fault and no one else’s.

      • Bryan

        Can you imagine what it would feel like to live in hopeless poverty with no education, meaningless or non-existent safety nets, and systemic racism keeping you down at every turn? You can’t excuse individual bad actions, but the problem as a whole is most certainly due to us whities.

      • Dr Plaid

        Did all that systematic racism keep Obama out of the White House? No. What mattered most is that his mother gave a dam and kept him on the right path. When any person works hard and stays out of trouble, they will succeed no matter what.

    • j/k

      Why is size always an issue? Do people really believe an unarmed large person is equal to a smaller person with a gun?

      • Rivka

        Size MAY Be relevant in this case, IF it can be proven beyond reasonable doubt that the deceased was charging at the officer, as a witness is heard to say on a video taken at the scene. And it’s relevant if it can be proven that the deceased did in fact slam the police car door onto the cop, then reach into the car and punch the cop and grab for his gun. Until we have any reasonable certainty about what happened, we can’t say for sure if Michael Brown’s size factors into this tragedy.

      • j/k

        He should be judged by those actions His size is irrelevant.

      • Rivka

        I don’t “judge” him on his size, I take his size into account when considering what may have happened. His size IS relevant if he was charging at the cop.

      • George Zimmerman

        Size is relevant because it makes it easier for the unarmed large person to beat the living shit out of the armed smaller person and take his weapon, thus becoming an armed large person.

    • cc

      ‘There are video and still images online of him strong-arm robbing a convenience store minutes before he was shot and killed by a cop.’

      It certainly puts the ‘gentle giant’ narrative we’ve been hearing into question, doesn’t it?

  8. i thought the “pushing a petite woman” link in the article would open up the story about Orlando Bloom taking a swing at Bieber.

  9. Hmm

    I am not saying that Michael Brown was the best person in the world, but 6 shots into an unarmed man, 2 to the head seems highly excessive. At the end of the day, why aren’t all police officers required to wear audio/video recording equipment, that would almost 100% eliminate any kind of confusion. If they made a legitimate shooting then they can prove it, it they did not, send them to prison. If you are a police officer and confident that you are not a thug and killer then you should be adamantly demanding that your department provide you with wearable A/V equipment.

    • Google Glass, make it standard issue for all police officers.

    • adm.fookbar

      You fire until the threat is neutralized. You don’t make headshots, you don’t shoot for legs, you shoot Center of Mass until the threat is stopped.

      Based on the stories coming forward, it may have been a legitimate and justified shoot, and had FPD handled things correctly we wouldn’t be having this discussion… but they didn’t and now we have an example of police militarization gone awry and there’s no chance for the officer or the kid to be judged correctly.

    • @Hmm

      This. 100%. There is no reason any honest cop wouldn’t want this.

  10. Kimmykimkim

    I was going to say “damn, that is one trashy-ass skank” and then I read the words “porn star.” Explained.

    • cc

      Sad in a way. Minus the tattoos and the not oo attractive haircute, she appears to be quite cute. However, with the tattoos and her profession (if debasing yourself is a profession) she’s managed to become quite gross.

    • …pornstars & strippers traditionally make bad life choices, such as; the men they date. (and no, i’m not blaming the victim, this guy should be beaten & anally raped for the next 5 years for what he did, but, there were blatant signs he was a violent douchebag before & during her decision to be in a relationship with him, so…)

  11. Visible

    “You can shoot an unarmed black kid six times in this country without most people batting an eye”

    Only if the shooter is also black.

    7 killed 29 wounded this weekend in Chicago.

    • pepe

      yeah, don’t even bother mentioning chicago to fish.

      when the George Zimmerman case was going on people came here to talk about Chicago.

      not only did fish disregard any kind of talk about chicago but he made fun of people mentioning chicago in his future posts.
      He would keep posting about the zimmerman case but make ironic or sarcastic “Chicago” comments.

      seems kind of weird how Fish kept wanting to ignore and mock anyone that mentioned the crime in chicago

  12. Simple. The porn star is employed and pays taxes. I’m not saying I condone what has happened collectively, but that is the reason she requires a manhunt and the Ferguson police can get away with murder.

  13. pepe

    the thing i dont like about Fish’s race posts is that,
    He does defend and post about the racism against African americans and their struggles.

    but have you ever heard my say a single thing about the racism against mexicans or other Hispanic people? Hispanic people get as much shit as African american people do, right now because of immigration they get even more hate.

    But fish has never ever once said anything about the struggle of the immigrants right now, the hate, the racism. I know he doesn’t have to, but it seems kind of bizarre to talk about racism when you exclude everyone else. why pick and choose who you want to talk to or defend?

    • pepe

      actually now that i think about it, Fish has no boundaries on what he makes fun of.
      Fish will make fun of kids, of babies, pregnant women, fat women, fat men,
      Fish will make fun of kids with down syndrome, he will make fun of old people, of mothers, fathers.
      there is no subject that he won’t make a joke about. (Sometimes offensive jokes) He has made fun of latinos before too.

      Like I was saying. I find it bizarre and strange to ignore the racism that other minorities face, the hate they get from cops too. But wants to always talk about the racism african Americans get.
      I would love to know why

      • Clearly you missed all my posts making fun of Steven Seagal patrolling the border.

        Or my quips about the shitheads terrorizing children fleeing Central American countries and demanding we ship them back like the good Christian nation we are.

      • shutupandsing

        Fish is just another phony liberal wana be fool. He stands upon his soap box of fake leftists outrage, pushing the ideas fed to him by the power hungry leftists elite. The whole time he is defending his current favorite minority, he is pushing tits and ass to make a few dollars from adsense. Fish considers women sex objects. He is the worst kind of hypocrite and leftists tool. He is the perfect useful idiot.

    • shutupandsing

      I don’t want these immigrants out of the U.S. because they are Latino. I want them out of the U.S. because most are illiterate, unskilled and will be a huge drain upon our social safety net. I would feel the same way if they were unskilled, illiterate Brits. How can the U.S. spend BILLIONS on these immigrants, when we have millions of Americans homeless, hungry and in need of help. They gota go.

  14. blerg

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The military and the cops do not serve the people. There is nothing honorable about their service. They serve the rich.

    Think I’m wrong? Show me the stories about cops refusing to show up for work or national guard standing down. Show me one.

  15. buzz

    So you are wanted by the cops for beating the crap out of a woman and you get caught because you were loud and threatening to beat the crap out of different woman a few days later? Too bad all violent criminals aren’t this stupid…..

    At least he is being taken back to Nevada. If it was SoCal, the DA would have screwed up the case and he would have walked with anger management and probation.

  16. …this idiot wanted to be caught.
    …maybe somewhere in it’s hidden recesses, his brain has a tiny section that knows he’s fucked up and is calling for help.

  17. shutupandsing

    “You can shoot an unarmed black kid six times in this country without most people batting an eye”
    You mean an unarmed 6 foot 4, 300 pound thug who broke just strong armed robbed a store, attacked
    a cop and shattered his eye socket?

    God damn , leftists dumb fucks are so wrapped up in their ignorant little worlds. I don’t even understand
    how these fools even live without the help of a sane adult.

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