Vince Vaughn gets an apology

October 19th, 2006 // 60 Comments

Page Six issued an apology today after Vince Vaughn’s lawyers filed a complaint against them for running stories claiming he cheated on Jennifer Aniston with a blonde woman in the UK. They write:

Jennifer Aniston went on “Oprah” to tell the world she and Vince Vaughn are still together. We apologize to Vaughn for reporting on Oct. 11 that the “The Wedding Crashers” star had been photographed “making out” with a “mystery blonde” at a party in London. The item, first reported in the London Sun, was incorrect. We’re advised Vaughn was merely greeting a friend at the event and not kissing her “passionately.” Any suggestion that the actor was being unfaithful to Aniston is totally false.

The only time anybody should ever apologize to Vince Vaughn is if it’s sarcastic and they’ve just beaten him in a race or something, like “Sorry I made you eat my dust” or “Sorry you suck” or “Sorry I slept with your mom.” Because seriously, the guy’s an ass. I offered to buy him a beer once and he punched me in the face and called my little cousin a whore. That’s not cool, man.

Thanks to the delicately delicious Debs for the tip. And thanks to me for being the master of alliteration.

superficial

  1. jrzmommy

    Sorry you’re dating a miserable frigid bitch.

  2. Pagan Queen

    First? FINALLY -

  3. BigJim

    Sorry that you lost big in the genetic lottery.

  4. ScottInFlorida

    He’s a no talent sack of shit.

    Oh, that describes most of the subjects here, sorry.

  5. Pagan Queen

    ARGH jrz, dang – I havent been on in a long time and you steal my thunder.

    Dang, foiled again!

    Life must be so wonderful when the only worry you have is about someone saying things about you in the paper.

    Makes my worries of paying bills, working hard, keeping my family happy, seem trite by comparison.

  6. jrzmommy

    5–yeah, but you still the Queen, baby.

  7. Bioplant

    If he’s not fucking around on her yet, he should definitely start.

    Maniston is an unhappy, moody ice cube.

    Tick, tick, tick, Jenny. All the money in the world can’t buy you a personality.

  8. Vince Vaughn is a big doughy piece of dough.

    Off topic, here’s a start:

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061019/ap_on_re_us/illegal_immigrants_housing

    Again off topic:
    Watch an all new “My Name Is Earl” followed by an all new “The Office” tonight at 8e, 7c on your NBC stations.

    Ferrets back Woo Who !!!

  9. el_princess

    If she wants to keep Vince, Jenny should buy herself a strap-on.

  10. BigJim

    okay, this is convoluted, so pay attention.

    My sister’s ex-husband’s ex-girlfriend (who my sister’s ex-husband had a kid with) looks almost exactly like Jennifer Aniston (the ex-girlfriend, not the kid, who is a fat piece of shit who only ever stops playing Gameboy long enough to jerk off every hour).

    So, my sister’s ex-husband’s ex-girlfriend, because of the fact that she has a kid with my sister’s ex-husband, hangs around at our various family functions. It’s all very cordial.

    Anyway, my best friend has kind of been adopted by my family too, because his parents are dicks.

    Therefore, he is at a lot of these family functions as well.

    So, my best friend, and my sister’s ex-husband’s ex-girlfriend (the one who looks exactly like Jennifer Aniston, in case you forgot) got pretty drunk one night, and he fucked her.

    Hard.

    In the ass.

    True story.

  11. An apology? I’d rather have $$$$

    http://www.celebslam.com

  12. Tra

    #8

    I have heard about the immigrant thing. They did that in PA where there is a huge Industrial park and told the locals that they aren’t allowed to rent to immigrants. Also if any of the companies were found with immigrants working there they would be fined and possibly closed.

  13. Pagan Queen

    BigJim – I wouldnt want to see what THAT kid would look like! LOL

  14. no one you know

    But what ‘Page Six’ won’t tell you is that despite the retraction, they have a picture of Vincey slipping blondie the stinky pinky behind a ficus at said party while Jen cries softly in a corner.

  15. Pagan Queen

    Brain – thanks for the outstanding article. I dont like to be cruel hearted, but living in a Border state I see the financial burden the have on the economy. Illegal is illegal…period.

    A town in Texas started to really crack down and their crime rate went down 60%.

    Lets take care of Americans who are here legally from legal parents first. Once we get us strong, then we can help others.

    Too much poverty and pain for our own people. Why dont Madonna, Angelina and the like adopt AMERICAN babies first?

    Argh – let me get off my soapbox and think of important things…like since I am PMSing so hard, can I really excuse myself from working out today…I mean it is OK isnt it if I only eat one chocolate bar instead of 10.

    jrzmommy – since you are the candy queen, can I get away with NOT working out today if I eat only 1 butterfinger with, say, 10 redvines? A little help here! LOL

  16. RichPort

    I’d like to punch this doofy looking Lurch motherfucker right in the pussy.

  17. Tra

    #16

    Are you sure you want you hands that close, especially in that region? Hope you use a glove if you ever get that chance.

  18. Dr.Rokter

    #16 I’d like to see how many things you could stick in Jennifer Aniston’s pussy before she split in half. I bet she’s filled with that weird, flavorless diabetic candy and Hall’s lozenges just like my grandmother’s old vinyl purse.

  19. BigJim

    Hooray for cracking down on dirtbag immigrants!

    In Calgary, Alberta, Canada ten percent of our population is fucking asshole Americans streaming across the border. They take our jobs, act like they own the world, talk endlessly about Paris Hilton, and generally piss us Canucks off.

    We should lynch every last one of those mother fuckers.

    Oh, wait, is this the Right-Wing Canadians for Christ site?

  20. commissioner

    #8

    So the AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION is defending the rights of NON-AMERICANS?

    Oh, yeah, I forgot. They do that all the time. With my tax dollars. My AMERICAN tax dollars.

  21. sonya

    #8 Good on Escondido. And the ACLU should pack up and move to Mexico. Or go to hell. Which might equal the same thing, come to think of it.

  22. sonya

    @20
    Good point.

  23. RichPort

    #20 – My forefathers came here as 3/5 of a legal immigrant. Oddly, we didn’t have to pay rent.

    Let’s Go Mets!!!

  24. #1

    You fucking said it. I used to like Vince Vaughn, but fuck him! Fuck him and his curly fuck hair and his fucked up abnormally long abdomen. I really did think he was cool, but fuck that. Asshole. Who the hell is he? A B-lister, maybe? And fuck Jennifer Aniston, too. They can both have frigid, grudge sex while thinking of their former partners for all I care.

  25. aliomali

    Page Six should apologize. That is no mystery blonde woman – that is Owen Wilson.

  26. @20

    Perhaps before you get yourself worked up on your anti- ACLU speech, you should understand that they do not receive any government funding. Thus, the do not get your tax dollars, it is supported by annual dues and contributions from its members, plus grants from private foundations and individuals.

  27. jrzmommy

    15-PaganQueen–if you exercise and brush your chompers three times a day, you can eat as much candy as you want, provided you are not a diabetic. That’s what i think, at least.

  28. jrzmommy

    I just took a photo of the cutest fucking fireman at an emergency training drill. Goodness! I wish I knew how to do technological things so I could show you all just how cute this boy is.

  29. commissioner

    #26

    I’ll explain. Everytime the ACLU files legal action, my tax dollars are wasted. They clog up the legal system with their bullshit briefs. They also sue taxpayer funded entities, local and state governments and school systems. In this case, they are suing a local government at a colossal waste to the citizens of that city, who, by city charter and state law, OWN their city.

  30. sonya

    The ACLU also fights for pedophiles.

    In May, the City of Indianapolis passed an ordinance that fines convicted child molesters, predators and rapists $600 if they are found within 1000 feet of playgrounds, swimming pools, recreation centers, or sports fields when children are present. The ordinance provides for a number of exceptions

  31. sirfelix

    I’m tired of hearing pseudo-patriotic americans whine about the immigrant problem.

    Next time you go to the produce department in your grocery and spend $12.00 for strawberries instead of $2.50, you will have the satisfaction of knowing a unionized american got a job.

  32. Pagan Queen

    BigJim – just paying you guys back for all the Canadians that come here. I have to say thanks for my Aunt, tho – she rocked. She was a great lady.

    jrzmommy – I was trying to get someone to agree with me so I wouldnt feel guilty by snarfing and not exercizing. Ah, how misery LOVES company!

  33. jrzmommy

    PaganQueen, OH! Okay, I missed the point……um…………just wave a bottle of Stoli over the bag of candy (or whatever food you want to eat) three times and say “Fuckit Fuckit Fuckit” and you won’t gain weight.

  34. commissioner

    I don’t eat produce.

  35. Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!

  36. jrzmommy

    Produce is the work of the devil.

  37. commissioner

    I get all the produce I need from a bag of Jelly Belly beans.

  38. sonya

    So are unions, Bobby Boucher!

  39. RichPort

    I think we may need to remember that the ACLU will defend everyone’s right to speak, from Klan members to convicts to people with legitimate concerns. They do serve a useful purpose. If municipalities and the federal government didn’t try to constantly, slyly, chip away at our first amendment rights, we would have no need for the ACLU.

    That said, every useful orginization tends to out live its usefullness and become somewhat corrupted by their own piety. An example of this is the party of Lincoln, the GOP.

    Vince Vaughn is so fucking boring people would rather talk politics instead. You gotta love it…

  40. RichPort

    Produce is great for throwing at immigrants… unless of course you are an immigrant, then it’s just great for thowing at each other.

  41. commissioner

    This psuedo-patriotic American is going to Mexico and take over someone’s hacienda. Then I’m going to sue the Mexican government to provide me with healthcare, groceries, and transportation. If I don’t end up in front of a firing squad, I’m going to ask all the signs and forms have english translations for my convenience.

  42. jrzmommy

    Commish–I did that once….I even have a souvenier……it says, “I Tried To Impose My Will Upon A Nation and All I Got Was This Lousy Tee Shirt.” Wear sunscreen!!

  43. RichPort

    Commish – Don’t drink the water, unless of course you enjoy geyser like bowel movements.

  44. commissioner

    jrz and rich-

    I think I’ll tour the Mayan ruins and get drunk instead.

  45. RichPort

    Everytime someone has the audacity to speak to you in Spanish, scream “English, English motherfucker!!!”. They like that.

  46. Scott

    –45 lol

  47. jrzmommy

    Rich– I think they like it better when you go “gluh gluh glicky la glah…HA HA That’s what you sound like when you say Spanish talk!”

  48. RichPort

    “Aloooooo? I talky to you…! (then very loud) WHERE-O EES THE (hand gestures) HACEINDA-O??”

    Then kick their burros.

  49. commissioner

    A phone caller yesterday: “Um, ello, missus co-mee-shun-ur?”. I just said, “no work-ee here for ju”. Turns out, he was calling about a vehicle I’m selling. Oops.

  50. Scott

    Or if you wanna make an easy buck, tell them you’re the immmigration police.
    A buck, no more.
    Then kick their burros again.

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