Vin Diesel Made A Valentine’s Day Video, It’s Goddamn Terrible
Facebook is supposedly taking steps to curb “fake news” even thought that term has already been talking-pointed into nonsense by morons who are applying it to venerable outlets like The New York Times and The Washington Post. But they’re doing nothing about Vin Diesel, who has become one of the most popular users of the social media network by posting shit like himself dancing uncomfortably for long stretches of time and sobbing through Paul Walker tribute songs. In fact, Facebook has given him goddamn awards, so if you’ve had your finger hovering over the delete button on your account, now would be the time to press that motherfucker. So here’s Vin’s latest offering, which already has over a million views and is literally nothing but him panting into Bruno Mars’ microphone and talking about a Valentine’s Day song he never actually sings? I don’t even fucking know.
There you go, that’s what over one million people spent their time watching and I couldn’t even begin to tell you why. So I’m going to defer to my spirit animal in this moment, Steve Martin, who has to be wondering why the security guy keeps saying, “Bleve, Bi bloved boo in Blobber Bove Buh Bribe.”