You can check out more celebrity shout-outs at Hef’s official site. Props to Best Week Ever for the find, and to Paris Hilton for being so hilariously awesome.
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Gisele Bundchen Speaks Out After Her Latest Controversy – Lainey Gossip |
 Lady Gaga Reveals Her Eating Disorder – Huffington Post | |
| Naomi Campbell sexy new photoshoot. – Fox News | |
| Vanessa Hudgens Falls Out Of Her Shirt – Popoholic | |
| Celebrities' Real Names Exposed – Newser | |
| No bras here. – The Chive |
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Camila Alves Flashes Engagement Ring, Talks Wedding Plans (PHOTOS) |
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maryaries | April 11, 2006 at 6:46 pm
I love the part where she forgets who she’s singing to. Useless.
canadianeh-me | April 11, 2006 at 6:47 pm
if by talent you me foreign bacteria, i agree.
Gerald Tarrant | April 11, 2006 at 6:47 pm
Why does she sound like a whore when she sings?
Oh yeah. Because she is.
canadianeh-me | April 11, 2006 at 6:48 pm
if by talent you mean foreign bacteria, i concur
Trotter | April 11, 2006 at 6:48 pm
Tim Curry lives! This cunt is disgusting. What was with the boiling caldron behind her? Was she poaching babies to eat later?
Chrystal03 | April 11, 2006 at 6:55 pm
She sounds like she is dropping mud….that was horrible!!!
MissAppropriated | April 11, 2006 at 6:58 pm
#5 Paris was told that boiling salt baths relieved some of the symptoms of vicious genital herpes.
Grphdesi23 | April 11, 2006 at 7:00 pm
Mother Teresa ….my ass.
Grphdesi23 | April 11, 2006 at 7:01 pm
It’s is almost as classic as Star Jones getting hit by the football.
Almost.
Grphdesi23 | April 11, 2006 at 7:01 pm
Oh–#1. You got me laughing on the inside and out.
Hilarious.
Trotter | April 11, 2006 at 7:05 pm
Missapprop… Got it. But how will they clean the tub after she uses it? Virgin blood?
Jacq | April 11, 2006 at 7:10 pm
What a dirty fucking slut. Where in the hell did they film that? Not quite sure what’s smoking behind her, but if it’s sulfuric acid she definitely needs to take a dip in it.
#1 – She didn’t forget, she just probably lost interest. I think that’s why Prez Bush pauses when he talks.
Where’s the rest of the clip where she shoved the entire mic and the cord into her vagina and said “Peace out bitches!”? If she squatted over that banquette, I bet it’d go up there, too.
Evangelia | April 11, 2006 at 7:10 pm
she paused before she said “mr. hefner” because she wanted to say “mr. president” like marilyn. seriously, who the fuck does she think she is?
MissAppropriated | April 11, 2006 at 7:10 pm
Trotter ;-)
Sadly, no substance known to man can purify the tainted vessel post-Paris. It will have to be destroyed in a ritualistic ceremony under the waning moon by an exorcist. Nasty business.
Craig & "em" | April 11, 2006 at 7:20 pm
I suppose next we’ll see Nicole “Bareback Mountain” Richie singing Happy Birthday to Larry Flynt.
“Happy Birthday Mr. Flynt! You’re 65, but you act like you’re 64 and you look like you’re 63 and best of all…you’re in a wheelchair…which makes it easier for me to blow you…and that’s HOT!”
Bellisima | April 11, 2006 at 7:20 pm
Barf!! That smoke is coming from her vagina cuz it was flapping away to that snappy tune.
“Happy Buthday mistah…uh…uh…Mistah Skankmonger!!!”
Giggles | April 11, 2006 at 7:21 pm
Okay, this made me sign up and get an account.
This skank has had way more than her 15 minutes. She is the most blatant, shameless self-promoter I have ever seen. And there’s no talent to back it up. Priceless.
I guess one doesn’t need to have any smarts when one inherits millions of dollars. Too bad. If it weren’t for her grandpa, she’d be the actual whore that she is instead of the virtual whore.
a concerned fan | April 11, 2006 at 7:27 pm
C’mon…show some pity for her. I mean, it’s not like she’s rich or anything.
Trotter | April 11, 2006 at 7:28 pm
15 – lol – Nicole makes Paris look almost less like a whore and a bit more like a slut. Which has more STD’s in the oven?
schadenfreude_is_sweet | April 11, 2006 at 7:35 pm
#17, me too! I also felt the need to sign up for an account to comment on this sorry piece of humanity. Speaking of which, UGGHHH!!! I love the part at the end where she has to think a little before she can come up with something flattering to say about Hef because he’s such a dessicated lizard that even she, the Queen of Whores, can’t-eah manage to spit out a man-pleasing comment. And unless her rancid nether regions count, I don’t smell any talent.
KatieA978 | April 11, 2006 at 7:36 pm
Please.
Someone kill her already. My head hurts just looking at her, do I really have to LISTEN to her as well?
I think she might look up to Hugh as a role model, after all, he has 7 girlfriends, Paris is probably trying to emulate that feat by having 7 Greek billionaires looking for easy sex.
mamadough | April 11, 2006 at 7:37 pm
i honestly believe she has evolved into a new std. herpes parisimplex. i feel like i caught something just watching that clip. men! hide your penises (peni? plural for penis?) the end is near. im gonna go scrub now just to make sure im ok.
mamadough | April 11, 2006 at 7:38 pm
i honestly believe she has evolved into a new std. herpes parisimplex. i feel like i caught something just watching that clip. men! hide your penises (peni? plural for penis?) the end is near. im gonna go scrub now just to make sure im ok.
mamadough | April 11, 2006 at 7:39 pm
sorry, stupid superficial program-commenting thingy bob
Sol | April 11, 2006 at 7:41 pm
LOL!
Lawd have mercy!
I have to thank you for that vid. It’s made my week!
There are not enough ‘production’ tricks, tips or techniques in-the-world to help her supposed album sound anything other awful.
I think I’d rather listen to the sound of rending metal. No, really.
yensid | April 11, 2006 at 7:43 pm
Oh her momma must be so proud. She didn’t raise no fool. Oh, wait a minute…yes she did. Momma don’t care. Girl is singing for Grampa in her britches…go Beverly Hillbilly, go! sniff sniff. Touching.
chilichz | April 11, 2006 at 7:44 pm
I’ve heard better sounds come out of my ass after eating Taco Bell versus hearing Skankis (Paris) Hilton sing. She looked all strung out on crack (or the peroxide from her hair extenstions) and thought that microphone was her dildoe since no HEALTHY man in his right mind would touch her mangina! William Hung sings better than that whore! I don’t hate her cuz she’s rich…she just annoys the f*** outta me for some reason!
krisdylee | April 11, 2006 at 7:46 pm
paris hilton loves the cock
Trotter | April 11, 2006 at 7:50 pm
If Paris Hilton and Tom Cruise were in a room with only one cock to chow, who would win?
Gerald Tarrant | April 11, 2006 at 8:00 pm
Tom Cruise is never alone.
Hail Xenu.
Star Maker Machinery | April 11, 2006 at 8:02 pm
#29: Paris would win. I think Tom is more of a cornhole man. He’s tossed more salad than Mrs. Dash.
pepper brooks | April 11, 2006 at 8:05 pm
Tom Cruise is hyper and vicious, like a rabid chihuahua, but Paris “oops-I-lost-the-hardee’s-burger-you-know-where-again” Hilton most likely has well trained legions of crabs to join forces and do her bidding against the enemy.
If there is a God, they will revolt and devour them both.
Save the cock!
sid | April 11, 2006 at 8:05 pm
Damn thing won’t play in my old Apple. Gimme Youtube :/
Trotter | April 11, 2006 at 8:08 pm
#31 – I agree. She’d suck the whole guy into her VD Vortex before Tom could get his salad tongs out…
DuckBoy | April 11, 2006 at 8:10 pm
she sounds like Jessica Simpson
heifferzzz | April 11, 2006 at 8:13 pm
LOL #12: “She didn’t forget, she just probably lost interest. I think that’s why Prez Bush pauses when he talks”
haha #29, i say Tom Cruise, the force of Lord Xenu is with him, he is the chosen one! He has made a lifelong vow to love thy cock with all his heart & live as one with it till death do them apart where hence they will reunite in paradise…or wherever!
BarbadoSlim | April 11, 2006 at 8:19 pm
Is that a beer gut?
Jeeeeesus.
Kenton | April 11, 2006 at 8:25 pm
It’s just a jump to the left.
And then a step to the right.
With your hands on your hips.
You bring your knees in tight.
But it’s the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane.
Let’s do the time-warp again.
Let’s do the time-warp again.
All she needs now is a pearl necklace from me….
Kylara | April 11, 2006 at 8:27 pm
#33, you don’t want to hear it that badly. No, really. I’m kind of sad that I’ve LOST my HEARING. I went blind over the rear view of the Britney Spears birthing monument, and now go my ears.
I do admire how she pointed the mike down towards the audience, as if expecting .. applause. Oh my. And yes, #17, I agree very much with that.
BigJim | April 11, 2006 at 8:32 pm
This chick is a total C U Next Tuesday.
I mean, a bitch with a capital “C”.
Oh, what the hell, let’s just call her a whore and leave it at that.
Malakite | April 11, 2006 at 8:43 pm
That was HORRIBLE.
Poor Heff. What a bad birthday greeting-type thing.
soapbox | April 11, 2006 at 8:44 pm
Move over Anna Nicole Smith! And Ritchie too!
-barf-
Pez_D_Spencer | April 11, 2006 at 8:52 pm
Shouldn’t she have been singing something by The Police?
There’s a little red sore on my crotch today.
It’s twice as big as yesterday…
It’s an open wound
And the pus won’t stop…
tuben | April 11, 2006 at 8:52 pm
Hmm…. Where is my damned ice pick so I can try and gouge that caterwauling out of my brain.
Trotter | April 11, 2006 at 8:59 pm
Pez-D, You’re my hero? Shit, you’ve got it on today.
Mo | April 11, 2006 at 8:59 pm
Who wants to bet that Hef just turned off his hearing aids and took off his glasses?
Redeemer | April 11, 2006 at 9:03 pm
I’d hit it.
With a 5 year restraining order signed by my cock. Jebus, I’d rather cut off my sack with a rusty butter knife then listen to that again.
theyareidiots | April 11, 2006 at 9:13 pm
She looks fat.
I think she forgot the words to the song because she was confused about the strange “undergarments” she was forced to wear. Seeing as how she has not worn underwear her entire life, she did not understand that additional clothing could be worn on top of the strange boob and vagina covers she put on.
Jeremy1Esq | April 11, 2006 at 9:16 pm
she was there to have sex with Hef. The singing was just help get his blood flowing out of sheer terror
Pez_D_Spencer | April 11, 2006 at 9:18 pm
Also, shouldn’t she be with her band: The Burning Sensations?