Victoria Silvstedt in a bikini

May 5th, 2009 // 53 Comments

Here’s Swedish model and former Playmate of the Year Victoria Silvstedt in Marbella, Spain over the weekend, and these shots have officially changed how I picture Heaven. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m looking at Jesus right now. — That doesn’t sound gay does it? Whatever, I don’t care. Here, Jesus Jesus….

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. whopper jr.

    First, you slimy cunts.

  2. whopper jr.

    May I please squirt my salty ejaculate inside your warm, lubricated (probably shaved) vagina?

  3. it smells like cheese in here.

  4. PunkA

    I hear she gives it away for $$$ on the down low. Of course, if this were true, I’d bee saving my pennies to book myself 2 hours of heaven of earth. Hot bitch.

  5. Yaaaaaaaawn… next.

  6. I hear the same #5, somehow I dont think she gets down with shmoes like you but with sheiks!!!

  7. Sam

    She’s got old-lady-looking young lady legs. Drugs and diet and lipo are no substitute for being a healthy young hot chick.

  8. Krassy McKrass

    I’d let her sample my meatballs.

  9. Jeezy

    Hot from the waist up. What the hell is up with her leg in the main pic? *BARF!*

  10. Capt. Douchebag

    Pancake ass just like mom used to make.

  11. Capt. Douchebag

    Pancake ass just like mom used to make.

  12. smarg

    #10, word. Her feet are gross, too. I’d tittie fuck her, though.

  13. Hugh Jorgan

    Like any of you douchebags even got close to nailing anything that hot.

  14. moot

    yeah, legs/ass not so great for a playmate…

  15. SoTe

    what’s up with her legs? ewwww.

  16. legs

    Gorgeous if you like flab and cellulite.

  17. Sid

    “Like any of you douchebags even got close to nailing anything that hot.”

    YEAH! So (*sniffle*) you guys better stop makin’ fun of her! Because (*sniffle*) I have all of her Playboy pictures laminated (SHUT UP it’s so they won’t fade, or something) and she’s my favorite! Don’t anybody say anything mean about her or I’ll get really mad (*sob*).

  18. mike

    If you have some type of best-friend’s-mom fantasy, then I guess she’ll do, but her body’s mostly notable for what’s not there (tone, butt, toned butt). It’s like “oh boy, vanilla ice cream!” Not bad, but you know, what else is on the menu…

  19. Verbal

    There is something really Brooke Hogan-ish about this woman.
    I had to do a double take.

  20. kitty says

    #20 Yeah I know what you mean. Its the super-fake boobs and complete lack of ass.

  21. Sprmcandy

    I have died & gone to heaven !!

  22. This is the kinda chick you fuck in the coat closet right before she marries your best friend…

    What?

  23. Sal Monella

    What’s the shelf life of a fake tee-ot? Isn’t she about due?

  24. lisa

    Guys, you critise her legs.. but good luck finding a girl who look as good as her, when theyre her age. Its easy to critize, but really.. who are you losers?

  25. lisa

    Guys, you critise her legs.. but good luck finding a girl who look as good as her, when theyre her age. Its easy to critize, but really.. who are you losers?

  26. #25/ 26 – Can I “critise” yur spleling, loser?

  27. My friend had her for 2 days at $10,000 a day (true story)

    Check out this site of a Hobbit eating her out in public.

    God I love chicks who will do anything for $$$$$….i really respect that.

    http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2006/06/19/confirmed-victoria-silvstedt-is-a-prostituting-whore

    make sure you click on the other pictures. Slide 6,7 & 8 motivate me to make some more coin for the next bitch in line who is so vain and superficial that she’ll do anything for this seasons LV or Hermes bag.

  28. isitin

    She’s 34 & you little douche bags think she’s old????. You little fucks will never fuck anything nearly as pretty in your whole lives. Little prick fuckers………..

  29. Oh yeah….
    I still hit that semi-pro whore.

    Beautiful Girls should understand that all they have to do is SHUT THE FUCK UP, SUCK SOME and be on their back to make their man happy (and make some money while their at it).

    Simple.

    We don’t wanna talk about emotions or feelings and YES we do find that other girl attractive. Why?….wanna 3some?

  30. i would so like to eat victoria’s pink taco!

  31. gotmilk?

    WHO? i thought it was donatella versace for a minute. yuk.

  32. Valerie

    I like the arguments here! All I have to say is, it’s true: they all suck in, when they know the camera is on.

  33. PunkA

    For her age, she still looks amazing. I’d hit that so hard I;d get a concussion, but it would be worth it.

  34. Rhialto

    I’m already committed but this girl looks pretty acceptable.

  35. Nero

    Good ass,boobs and smooth looking skin.

  36. Elk

    If only she had an ass.

  37. The Blond Curse

    The keyword is FORMER.

    I guess she must be a real blond, judging from her old, dimply skin.

  38. isitin

    The Blond Curse, you must be about 14 & only look at 12-13 year olds. Guess thats why you think 34 is old. You stupid little fucker.

  39. ………………seen those legs?

  40. Get some tastes

    Don’t get it. This could be anyone, nothing special. The body doesn’t start to go til 40 so the age thing is no excuse.

  41. Lisa

    #27, if you have nothing better to do. It’s a difference between British and American English, I accidently slipped and spelt it the American way – will never do it again. A disgrace to the English language. Also, I speak five languages, how many can you cope with? A half?

  42. chlöe

    Jealous females and homosexual men all agree that this is not a hot chick,

    Hilarious….

    She is much better looking than anyone any of you would even have a chance of screwing.

    Not to mention that most of you probably have ugly bodies and yet you sit here and criticize someone who could run circles around you in the looks department.

    pathetic.

  43. #42 – I’ll cope with any that are both well written are spelled correctly (sorry, “spelt” correctly)… Please tell me where in either British or American English “critise” or “critize” is a word. And cockney doesn’t technically count as a language, but is an apt phonetic description of my patella “whilst” flacid.

  44. Shit, I mispelled flaccid. I guess I now qualify for UK citizenship. No wait… I have teeth…

  45. Lisa

    #44. English isn’t my first language, and I’m certaintly not from London. is Criticise better? Krisisieren? Kritisera? Critiquer?

    From the very beginning, this was about some of you people making it sound like you can do better. Even though half of her is plastic nowadays, there’s a reason she is a model. And yes, at 34, and even at 18, women can get cellulites.. grow up. It’s easy to CRITICISE.

    Mycket snack och lite verkstad, as Silvstedt would say.

  46. Lisa

    Oh yeah, the British have terrible teeth. That they do. I’d say they’re on the same level as the average American’s fashion sense :-)

  47. #47 – This from a continent that worships techno, David Hasselhoff, and the techno remixes of David Hasselhoffs songs?

    So do you tell your johns “cash only” in five languages?

  48. Lisa

    #48. I can assure you that no one in my country worships David Hasselhoff – who you, by the way, created. Techno isn’t very big on the scene either. Get your “facts” right. Maybe you’re thinking of Germany. The differences from one European country to another are quite big, you know. But I realise I’m talking to someone who probably would ask what the weather is like ‘in Europe’..ha.

    Bored of this now – over and out, douchebags.

  49. Don’t let the doorknob hitcha Lisa… or Leeza… or however the fuck you former Soviet satellites spell that shit…

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