Victoria Beckham, what in the hell?

June 3rd, 2008 // 224 Comments

For a guy who spends 75% of his day in his boxers, I know surprisingly little about fashion. That said, what the flying Jesus is Victoria Beckham wearing to the CFDA awards? Apparently, it’s some sort of Marc Jacobs creation, but who let her out of the house looking like that? I mean, between David Beckham and Katie Holmes next door, you’d figure one of them would’ve tackled her twig ass in the front yard. Unless only Tom Cruise was home. Word is he only touches women for the camera with Oprah being the exception. And even then, he wears oven mitts – over a HAZMAT suit.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. deacon jones

    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTT!! finally

  2. gisele

    disgusting

  3. gisele

    disgusting

  4. Cole Hobbs

    frist

  5. Underwhelmed

    Ummm……yeah.

  6. Randal

    Slam dunk on this one baby!

    What a woman we have here today! I am so loving the outfit there, no wonder her name is Posh because that dress knocks socks off when she walks on by.

    Not only the outfit but the stance, like a lioness before the kill.

    On another note, there are a few folks coming around and posting as Randal, slamming and making low end comments about a few regulards who post here. For the record, since I came to Fish in January 2008, I have never and will never make such comments about anyone who enjoys posting and visiting this website.

    Have a good one.

    Randal

  7. Oh, no everybody it’s ok. Everybody’s wearing God-awful dresses there. I think that is the theme..

  8. Great news everyone
    My boyfriend just called and said we finally have enough money for my sex change operation. I will be gone for a few days and when I return I respectfully ask that you all refer to me by my new name Jimbollena Seville.
    Thank you all,
    Jimbo

  9. Ashley

    Hey, whatever floats your skinny tanorexic little spice girl boat

  10. havoc

    WTF? I thought they went back to England. You know, because she has no discernable use and soccer isn’t a real sport…..

    .

  11. Elli

    She looks great!!! I am loving the dress…shoes as well!!!!

  12. Ashley

    Those shoes are badass!!!!!!!!

  13. snarky

    yeah, like thats even surprising from that freak of nature. She is one clueless, vapid bitch.

  14. They would make good drapes……for Satan

  15. luna

    good luck jimbo soon to be Jimbollena Seville

  16. ToTellTheTruth

    Say what you will about Victoria Beckham, but one thing you have to admit is that she does have HIGH fashion sense…between her and Madonna, I don’t know which is the badder bitch.

  17. Pele

    What do you mean soccer is not a real sport????? The USA is the only country where FOOTBALL (not “soccer” as your ignorant ass calls it) is a second rate sport, while you enjoy your asses watching things like hockey and “football”, where a bunch of roid monsters in heavy armored protection suits jump over each other trying to pick a funny shaped ball with THEIR HANDS!! Always wondered why US americans call that thing “football”. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  18. SlyAndTheFamilyStallone

    I am Heartara. Protector of the urban jungle. Now, someone please kindly help me unglue my hands from my hips.

  19. Pele

    What do you mean soccer is not a real sport????? The USA is the only country where FOOTBALL (not “soccer” as your ignorant ass calls it) is a second rate sport, while you enjoy your asses watching things like hockey and “football”, where a bunch of roid monsters in heavy armored protection suits jump over each other trying to pick a funny shaped ball with THEIR HANDS!! Always wondered why US americans call that thing “football”. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  20. Debbie

    does this bitch ever smile? or just “strike a pose”

  21. #12, I have those exact same shoes, and I wouldn’t recommend them for anyone who drinks..

  22. Jackson'shole

    i wish I had her body. Am jealous

  23. Jendetta

    An oompaloompa in FMPs wearing her best “cumhither” look….

    Hmmm, it’s still sexier than Xenutard Katie Holmes or either Olsen twin ever could be

  24. Randal

    My dear number 6, please stop posting as me. I’d never compliment this frigid hussy, as I prefer having one off the wrist to more attractive creatures, like Amy Winehouse.

    I also always place my name at the end of my comments, even though it clearly states it at the top. I know it’s completely pointless, but I just love myself that much. I’m going to type my name now…

    Here I go…

    Randal

  25. Im sure she was once hot…. My prescription:

    1. gaine about 20 pounds
    2. fix your feet girl
    3. buy better boobs, they are too far apart
    4. acne treatment
    5. clean up the greasy look from your face
    6. stop with the botox, its making you look scarier
    7. get some hip-inplants
    8. what the hell, buy a butt too
    9. gain another 10 pounds
    10. change that dumb hairstyle

  26. Im sure she was once hot…. My prescription:

    1. gain about 20 pounds
    2. fix your feet girl
    3. buy better boobs, they are too far apart
    4. acne treatment
    5. clean up the greasy look from your face
    6. stop with the botox, its making you look scarier
    7. get some hip-inplants
    8. what the hell, buy a butt too
    9. gain another 10 pounds
    10. change that dumb hairstyle

  27. Ted from LA

    It looks like someone tried to make a toga out of a Kentucky Derby hat. She must not have a friend in the world.

  28. Jendetta

    Surely someone can up with something more clever than I can to describe that pose/look in pic# 7

    hahahahahaha, that is some funny/ugly shit right there
    Hollyweird tabloid fodder in its glory

    C’mon people, go for it.
    Name that stance

  29. caljenna66

    @6 – what’s a ‘regulard’? Is that a fat joke?

    More on point, I think the designers are just messing with her now. It’s like the Life cereal commercial, “Hey, let’s get Posh to wear it, she wears ANYthing!!”

  30. Grace

    Aww, it’s made out of cute little hearts.
    I remembering doodling that same design on my 10th grade math notebook

  31. Randal's Rectum (gaping)

    More notes for my fans: (I am this important)…
    (space denudes emphatic intent)
    I forgot what I was going to say
    Oh! (nothing) I wish I was a fashionable woman and could wear these lovely outfits. I would prefer camel toe accentuating fabrics that would quite stretch the lip and puff the mound. There I would stand hands on my wide slim hips for all the world to see…if I only had a vagina!

    OH and real Randal, dear, I am the new you darling. Risque and and filthy like a whore!

  32. nipolian

    #17 – Edison Arantes do Nascimento is a homo.

  33. Grunion

    Randal , randal, randal,

    Take a xanax and relax big guy. Those in the know would never confuse you with some no talent name-stealer. Your prose is like honey where as thier’s is like honey with some big ugly shitty ass flies in it.

    You are the pink unicron of the Superficial and don’t let anyone tell you different

  34. Sean

    I gotta admit: she has a very pretty face.

  35. Auntie Kryst

    @34 Meh…yeah I guess so too, for a limey.

  36. deacon jones

    Whats with the serial fucking troller on this page today?

    And Pele, suck a dick and learn English, or vice versa. The only reason Football isnt as popular in almost every other country is because you can’t afford it, to expensive a sport to play, so naturally, we’re the ones who play it and let the rest of the world watch.

    And if one more fucking Eurotrash /Wetback says otherwise, it’s on

  37. nipolian

    #35 – don’t you mean……..Meh…yeah I guess so too, for a Vulcan?

  38. Uncle Eccoli

    She is pure capitalism. Disgusting.

  39. Randal the pink unicorn

    You people really need help here I swear to God. Some flaming dude writes essentially meaningless commentaries on nobodies and you shallow fag flies lick up the maggots from off his chair from where he sits.
    This guy is sacred to you? Are you sad cuz “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” is gone?
    What a country we are.

  40. Gia

    It is hard for me to take an underweight anorexic celebrity seriously. She must eat 500 calories a day to maintain the anorexic look. This dress belongs on the runnway but not to wear at an event. But at least it covers her huge ugly hard breast implants.

  41. HuckyDucky

    Soccer, what a boring sport. Who wants to sit around for 5 hours and watch a game end in a 0-0 tie, then get killed by some drunken maniac rooting for the other team.

    Anybody who thinks soccer is more exciting than football or hockey has alot of frustration issues.

    Like Pele.

  42. Auntie Kryst

    @37 Good one Nip. Yeah I was thinking that too, but decided against it. Vulcans exhibit too much emotion..

  43. havoc

    #19….soccer is something our kids stop playing when they get to the third grade.

    .

  44. Grace

    Pebbles Flinstone lives!

  45. Trish

    #20

    She cannot smile because she is always hungry, gets light headed, and suffers from anorexia.

  46. Jackson

    Being overweight like Kim Kardaskank is just as ugly as being underweight like Victoria. I hate the feel of breast implants and Victoria has huge ugly breast implants.

  47. nipolian

    #43 – Nice!……..thing is…..all the other Euro and Latino countries kid’s stop playing soccer when they get to the third grade as well…….it’s just that most of them just never get there.

  48. PunkA

    Too bad that dress wasn’t a nice forest green. It would have been perfect to wear to a Garden of Eden party if it was……..

  49. Trover

    I hear that when Beckham wants to make a deposit in her vag, she only accepts payment from his Platinum AMEX card. Bitch has gotta get paid to go shopping, ya know!

  50. deacon jones

    @47

    ahahahaha

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