Victoria Beckham is frugal

January 29th, 2007 // 70 Comments

Victoria Beckham is telling her friends she has no intention of becoming a Scientologist despite her close friendship with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes because it’s too expensive.

“There’s no way I’d spend any money on that nonsense,” she told a friend recently about the faith founded by author L. Ron Hubbard. Says another pal: “It’s completely laughable that there’s even talk of her becoming a Scientologist. Just because people are friends with someone doesn’t mean they do everything they do. Scientology is like kabbala in that it’s become all about money. Kabbala bracelets are now $28! It’s a joke. Scientology is an expensive religion; Victoria is too cheap to convert.”

Victoria Beckham got her teeth whitened for $44,000 so I’m pretty sure wasting money on stupid crap isn’t the problem. I suspect it may have more to do with the fact that she’d have to worship intergalactic space aliens and wear an aluminum jump suit. Two of the main reasons I’ve already signed myself up. Plus I like pretending to shoot laser guns and going “Pew pew pew!”



  1. llllllllll

    Female version of Sam Cassell(NBA), and or choose

  2. llllllllll

    Female version of Sam Cassell(NBA), and or Alien (Neptune) choose

  3. danielle

    I never knew that SHIT could take human form.

    She should be in the Guiness Book of World Records.

  4. krisdylee

    So should danielle for having the smelliest cunt.

  5. kamihi

    Please keep her over there, I don’t care what she does but we hate her over here, so keep her and send her off to meet L Ron in a spaceship (never to return)lease.

  6. HollyJ

    PIG NOSE!! I mean really… All that money and she can’t get that pig nose fixed? Her filtrim is so deep and wide you could probably go kayaking in it.

    Let’s not even talk about how GREASY she looks in every photo taken of her. Maybe the orange fake-bake is to dry out her skin so it’s not oozing body oil nonstop…? Get some POWDER for god’s sake.

    Maybe rhinoplasty and face powder are too pricey.

  7. highknee

    she’ll join up. it’s what all the wives do eventually, once their husbands confess about taking all those trips on john travolta’s plane.

  8. Me

    Why does this woman INSIST on looking like a tranny?

  9. RichPort

    Everytime I see this chick, it reminds me of the last few pages of Animal Farm. Oddly, everytime I think of pigs, I think of the number 3. Just fucking weird, I tell ya…

  10. tits_on_snack

    Her nose makes her face look funny. Her septum doesn’t come down, it just flattens itself right off at a 90 degree angle to her nose, underneath.

    That’s right Posh. I said your nose looks funny. What are you gonna do about it?

  11. CarnieWilson

    I’m glad people have their priorities straight, when buying- I mean practicing a religon.

  12. Binky

    Apparently she didn’t want to listen to Cruise speak about the religion saying, “Stop right now, thank you very much,” and then she added,
    “I need somebody with the human touch.”

  13. danielle

    #4. I thought your mother already owned that title.

    Isn’t this her seventh year reigning?

    Ask her…after you’ve pulled your head out, of course.

  14. krisdylee

    After i’ve pulled my head out of my mom’s snatch? What fuckin’ crack are you on? Please. Try harder with the insults. You’re sort of boring.

  15. combustion8

    Someone give that monkey a banana.

  16. danielle

    Must not be, as you’ve just answered my response. Go follow someone else around the threads you fucking troll.

    Ahhh the fans, the fans.

  17. There you go danielle ^^^

  18. Pointandlaugh

    glad she recognizes Scientology is nonsense.

    Now, if she could just get a boob job, a nose job, and eat a sammich, she’d be do-able.

  19. $44K on teeth? If she’s really that concerned with her appearance, she could spend far less and take those basketballs off of her ribcage.

  20. danielle


    Why would you put your information out there like that?

    “There you go….” No thanks, dear.


    Tell your mother to save up, she’s gonna need the money for your AIDS medication.

  21. I shagged her.

    She is an alien.

  22. elizabeththewellread

    I do not care why–if one Hollywood-type passes on Scientology, I support them.

  23. jesseeca

    #6, that is her fixed nose. she paid for that thing.

  24. Good thing they have regular, put-money-in-a-basket-and-get-nothing-back religions!

  25. Lowlands

    Maybe she should flash something?That’s better for her popularity now she’s living in LA.

  26. ValeWolf

    Tom’s really not gonna like this. He only makes friends with scientologists, or makes his new friends scientologists. Bet he was behind all of this about them moving to US.

  27. mmmBitch

    Pig nose.

    She’s right though – scientology is such a scam… Hollywood loves spending its money on needless things, but I never thought religion would become the next big accessory =)

    I still love the way that pig dresses!

  28. BigJim

    She’s not a good candidate because, apparently, scientology (lower case “s” intentional) requires its members to love the cock, and she’s a frigid bitch.

    Her husband, on the other hand…

    TCLT <====3

  29. kamihi

    Why is this woman even being discussed though, shes basically famous here for being David Beckhams wife and being too skinny, shes on a par with Paris and Tara for their reasons for being famous (ie. None)

  30. jrzmommy

    #3–You do every day!

  31. danielle

    I was waiting for that one.

  32. mutterhals

    I hope you all die. Seriously, they should quarantine you people.

  33. a smart celebrity…aint that somethin? – dont that beat all?

  34. K-Fags Nationwide commercial ^^^^^^^^^^^

    Funny as shit bitches…..

  35. magickal

    #34 – That actually IS funny as shit! Dare I say I may have even gained a miniscule shred of respect for him? I appreciate anyone who can laugh at themselves. Compared to Shitney these days, K-Fag’s a regular ol’ Ward Cleaver.

  36. 86

    6 I came here to say that exact thing. What the hell………PIG NOSE!!!!

  37. Niecy

    I agree. Its not about her being cheap. Its about the fact that she hasn’t lost her mind.
    But please believe, if Tom can get David involved in scientology, Victoria will be in the same mess Katie is in.

  38. Carsten5577

    She’s hideous, simply hideous.

  39. ch474

    Posh is so frugal she apparently forgot to spend money on food for the past decade, instead preferring to lick the sweat off her husband for nutrients.

  40. BarbadoSlim

    44k, wasted on her filthy piehole?
    What a waste, I bet it still smells like bitter cunt.

    Maybe Greenpeace should spend 44k on whitening her plaquey presence off planet earth.


    From “The Fundamentals of Scientology” 1964, by L.Ron Hubbard “Scientology is here to rescue you.” I hate to say it, but Posh looks like she could use some rescuing. She always looks a little brainwashed to me, anyway. Why does she need Scientology to do it for her?

  42. schack

    #12 is brilliant, and probably really relevant.

    Cruise and Mrs. Tom Cruise have turned into drunken robots, with a holier-than-thou attitude to boot! not that i mind that, per se, but you either need credentials or a gun to my head to pull it off, neither of which Tomcat possess.

  43. schack

    fuck L. Ron Hubbard and fuck all his clones

  44. renee

    Oh please, every religeon has become all about money, and if there’s time, preaching and condemming you for something.

    And I can’t believe I’m about to say this but VB is actually smart for passing up that lousy, childish religeon…..personally I’d rather worship the power rangers… although that is peobably also a part of Scientology.

  45. twzzlrgirl

    She has got to be the ugliest thing since…since…Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

    WTF!! I figured it out. Scientology is the religion of ugly people with freakish features…. (I’m kinda suprised Michael Jackson hasn’t converted).

    Cheers, you superficial hotties!

  46. whitegold

    Say what you want about her, you gotta give her credit for being smart enough to acknowledge that Scientology is a load of crap and not become another one of those stupid celebrities that embraces it cuz it’s the new trend. I say good on her for shunning it!

  47. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are ugly? Stupid, I can see, but they are a decent looking couple of people. Women love Tom Cruise… and Katie Holmes is (was, maybe? I don’t know) pretty hot.

  48. Lowlands

    Try to compare Victoria her face with the face for example of Britney?Or Rosie?Maybe Paris?Which girl is more pretty?

  49. Lowlands

    She has high-cheek-bones.That’s pretty.

  50. Lowlands

    Instead of a useless neckled she chose for healthy teeth.That’s really touching.

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