Victoria Beckham has hard nipples

July 27th, 2007 // 215 Comments

It sort of defeats the purpose of a bra when your nipples are made from solid diamond. No, wait, not diamond. The stuff they use to cut diamond. And it’s probably not good for Queen Latifah’s self esteem to be running into Victoria Beckham. It’d be like Lindsay Lohan running into Stephen Hawking. Or a NASA scientist. Or a cat pawing at a ball of yarn.


  1. Jens

    She looks terrible. Yikes²

  2. goldilocks

    Kelli, grow up. If you were so hot you wouldn’t need to tell everyone every 5 seconds. When you get older you’ll understand that concept.

  3. goldilocks

    As for Posh, I too can’t get past the nose. Once someone pointed that out, it’s all I see.

  4. Big Mama

    If I went to the store in shoes like that, I would be hit on by no less than 5 guys, each wanting to give me $500 a piece to go home with them, and on her they look like stilts. I bet when little children see her shopping they think she is the free entertainment clown in the store.

  5. gigi

    no……. just….. no….. you know how if you see something like this it’s supposed to bring about some kind of organic lust feelings? that warm tingly sensation all over? if even for a second….? I’m hetero, and my pleasure receptors love Laeticia Casta, or Angelina Jolie…. the feeling I get for every shot I see of this fembot is the same: “oh, nice shoes….” no shoes in the frame? oh well…! Even Marilyn Monroe’s sewn-on buttons on her bra [her girls were a little droopy -- this guaranteed the nipple effect] is hotter than this!

  6. 1MILFhunter

    #99 – sorry, the Queen is not gorgeous. She’s pretty normal, average at best. Victoria Beckham isn’t gorgeous either. If she ever smiled, that face would crack. Her nipples would cut diamonds. If she breast fed her children, they have scars inside their mouths from razor sharp cuts.

  7. ATX

    I bet it has a penis.

  8. laksjfalskjfd

    id hit that, from behind, with a vengeance.

    but only from there.

  9. Larry J

    it’s a shemale. period

  10. Wonky

    I’ve got it! Kelli has a pierced tounge and types the way she talks… that’s “talthkz” in kelli-speak.

  11. upturnedworld

    It’s not often you see a well fed black person and a starving white person in the same photo, is it?

  12. gerard Vandenberg

    This as a very cheap way for getting the attention you want. When you wear no brah and put your TITS with the NIPLES ofcourse under a cold shower or in ice-water, they will become as hard/tough as couble stones. Every girl is looking HOT, that way. Even lindsay lohan, that says it all!!

  13. Luna

    i think she looks hot

  14. Luna

    well i think her fake boobs look hot and the nipple stiff is cool

  15. hot hot hot at ASU

    Posh is 7 years older than Britney and much sexier. It is not even close. Britney is aging terribly.

  16. djcameron

    OhMyGod…I’ve been reading the Superficial forever…never really been much of a poster but the KraziKelli s’s to z’s thing has been driving me nuts…thank Christ I’m not the only one…seriously…it makes my head hurt just thinking about how stupid she’s gotta be…clearly she’s got some izzuez !

  17. I'll take posh to block

    Man, I used to think she was the hot one way back when.

    Who am I kiddin? I’d still snap her limbs in half.

  18. DROPPIN' LOADS!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Typical white girl ass. Squats and lunges honey. Squats and lunges.

  19. i bet if she took off her sunglasses for
    once then we could all look at her eyes
    or not

  20. jaima

    can you put your dick away for a sec so your brains can function people? ya no, not sure about posh’s boobs. they are a little too ‘energetic.’ but she seems like a kind person and queen latifa seems nice and they both have some sort of intellegence (as does lindsay lo so don’t understand the stephen hawking comparinson since she can actuallly act, just has a drug issue because she was brought up bad.) anyway, there is not much to these pics.

  21. Joyce

    Fuck her dodgy tits, known that since I was 6 months old. Have you seen the dogs ankles?!? WTF? They just made me throw up a little into my cereal so now I don’t want to finish it.

    Also, glad to see her skin is still no better. When I met her … hmm …. think it was 6 years ago now, her skin seemed the reason she was getting her money, seeing as it’s NASA sponsored. Errgghyack!

  22. tonycatman

    Yanks. For your entertainment and education:

    Ali G : Also known to you yanks as Borat. Is now highest paid comic actor in UK.

    David Beckham : The most famous sportsman in the UK by far. The inspiration behind the film “Bend it like Beckham” which launched Keira Knightly. When he met her, she was rich and famous, and he was a talented footballer, not yet a household name, but playing for the biggest (in terms of FTSE listing) club in the UK, Manchester United.

    Victoria Beckam : AKA “Posh Spice” from the most successful girl band ever. When she attended the football matches at which her husband played, the crowd used to sing “Posh takes it up the Arse”. That’s probably 50,000 people.

    Check out a fantastic interview between Ali G, David Beckham and Posh Spice on youtube, where he asks her if she takes it up the arse.

  23. ladyface

    two words : nipple bra. although, the babies might shy from these anyhow..

  24. ladyface

    hardly believe nips could stay hard, through a bra, in heat like LA. ahhahaha. fake nipple inserts into the bra. weird.

  25. ladyface

    plus, theyre crooked.

  26. Ju

    don’t want to say much bout her sharp boobs ..
    but she’s on hot mama maan.

  27. Ju

    don’t want to say much bout her sharp boobs ..
    but she’s one hot mama maan.

  28. ana

    IMPLANTS that’s why
    IMPLANTS that’s why
    IMPLANTS that’s why
    IMPLANTS that’s why

  29. AmeriCanadian

    Yanno, you could shove a stick up her ass and use her as a scarecrow. Seriously freaking scaaaaaaaaaary. What the hell is up with that hair? Oh and somebody get that walking toothpick a sandwich, please.

    Her arms frighten me, too. They’re like skinny man arms. :O

  30. Cranky Frank

    Has anyone, ever, seen that girl smile for the last, oh, four or five years? The British stiff upper lip seems to have invaded her entire face!

    Or perhaps the Botox is leaking.

  31. Gimmeimmi

    The stuff used to cut diamonds ARE diamonds FISH. They are the strongest mineral in the whole world

  32. 122/ tonycatman===Borat iz fuckin funny…?
    any middle eaztern comicz or people
    who act like them are the bezt???

  33. Are you believing this shit? My husband says that he was mugged
    by three women and ended up naked in the back of his car! WTS kind
    of excuse is that? He better be hiding that peter of his.

  34. henna

    she had an operation so her nipples are constantly hard.

  35. Tessa

    She’s the living proof of how money + plastic surgery don’t mean good looks!

    She’s ugly as hell, with no style at all. She remains the old cheap hooker.

  36. miss geet

    erm.. diamonds are used to cut other diamonds.

  37. JamieJames

    Who writes for this site now? They clearly do not have any common sense at all. Clearly, Queen is WAY MORE ATTRACTIVE than the stickly emaciated ugly “thing” known as Posh Spice.

  38. Krasy Whore Smelly-twat Kelli

    Damn this is one fucked up bitch. Ignorant and forgets she had her pics available at one time. And she aint hot. OK I guess if you think skanks with ORANGE hair are attractive. She kind of looks like Carrot Top, only she looks skinny. GOD I hate chicks with skinny legs and meatless asses. Pussies always look nastier.
    And yes, you are fun to hate on . Uncreative babbling scrawny orange headed lezbo loser.
    OH by the way…

  39. ****crazycoolcara****

    Hey youz haterz… thiz iz kelliz sister
    keepin it realz in the 561…
    stopz hatin’ we are finez…
    don’ youz wizh youz had dem picz…

  40. ks

    What is that tatto on victoria’s neck? is it a tatto written in Aramiac? If you know post your comments

  41. ipanemagirl

    prove that idiot kelli’s keyboard is still having a functioning s-key:

    I’ve never heard of a lamer blogger than this giant fool named kelli. must have been born somewhere in europe or is first generation euro-trash. living in FL –> no more comment!!!

  42. ipanemagirl

    scroll down to comment #131: azzkrazinotevenremotelyhotkelli using all kinds of SssssS:

    what a tool. fuck off the superficial, kiddo.

  43. bmose

    This rubber bitch moved to LA thinking she’s gonna be a movie star. Maybe on Vivid.

  44. telia

    She was so beautiful when she was in the spice girls, what happened?
    She had the perfect body. Why mess with that? too look like a stick with plastic orbs!!! She is still cute though.

  45. Kelli- show us a pic. are u too scared? we won’t pick on your ugliness…much.

  46. brian

    all ya’ll bitches iz jealous; she’s hot! **diving headfirst into her asscrack**

  47. pawelo

    Het holds always fason

  48. Mo

    There’s only one thing in the whole world that I like better than a woman in a wife beater t-shirt; that’s one that also has on large hoop earrings and wants to go to the dog fights.

  49. La

    yea, i bet if anything, latifah shook her head in pity as she walked away. that skinny snotty british brat has none of the talent, personality, and character of queen latifah. i dont wonder which lives a more satisfying and fulfilling life.

  50. freddiegirl

    You know, if we all ignored KelliWTF whatever she’d probably go away. How about it??

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