Victoria Beckham Wants to Murder Jennifer Lopez

May 24th, 2011 // 130 Comments

Yesterday, American Idol creator Simon Fuller received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and, naturally, invited Victoria Beckham because he also manages the Spice Girls. Except she decided to show up late only to find current Idol host Jennifer Lopez had taken the front row seats leaving Posh to sit in the third row where she spent the entire ceremony shooting pure looks of icy murder that not even Randy Jackson was safe from. Which is pretty impressive considering Victoria Beckham only has one expression, yet there she is firing goddamn laser eyes in every shot. Apparently the 1/100th of a centimeter she managed to furrow her brow makes all the difference. It probably sounded like someone popping bubble wrap every time she squinted. “Take *pop* my seat *pop* will you *pop* bloody wide-ass trollop *pop* pew pew *pop* pew pew pew!”

Photos: Getty, Fame, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Deacon Jones

    Man, could that guy on her right look any more Jewey?

    Let’s see the Lohan bikini slip pics, Fish! I’m out of coffee.

  2. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    TheJoaker
    Commented on this photo:

    Hed return gaze but he’d stare down 1/2 of beckham, and half of whoeverthefuckcareswasalsothere.

  3. Cock Dr

    Posh Spice has seldom looked hotter. Murder eyes become her.

  4. Yikes, only Victoria could be pregnant and look skinnier.

    • JosieBelle

      Precisely what I was thinking. Shouldn’t she be nearing her third trimester by now? How has she LOST 10 more pounds?!

  5. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    When I look at this photo I actually feel a little sorry for J-Lo.

  6. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    BMJ
    Commented on this photo:

    Jennifer checks her phone while the love child of Johnny Galecki and Pauly Shore looks on.

  7. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    DOucHe BaGELs
    Commented on this photo:

    Mark Anthony whispering: “I think Victoria’s jealous of the fact that you have a husband half your size that can be pushed down by a strong sneeze”

  8. BMJ

    Jennifer checks her phone while the love child of Johnny Galecki and Pauly Shore looks on.

  9. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    bethy
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s just protein-curious.

  10. RoboZombie

    Pic #4 Randy is trying to get a look at dat aazzzz! (It’s a lot to take in, even for a brother!).
    Anyway, I think I’d take Zombie-spice of Fat-ula any day.

  11. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    Tawmie
    Commented on this photo:

    In every picture of a black man, there is a white woman saying it all with her eyes.

  12. Crabby Old Guy

    Okay, let me see if I have this. A non talent is pissed because another non talent is sitting in her place as people with far too much time of their collective hands “honor” a non talent “act”?

    Yup – this all seems like a good use of time and energy.

    Sorry, unless there are some attractive women (or men, if that’s your preference) – talented or not – are naked or falling out of their respective outfits, what’s the point here?

  13. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    Poison Ivy League
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeeccchh, no wonder she only makes one expression. That face looks like chicken skin stretched over a skull then left out to dry in the desert for 1,000 years.

  14. It had to be said

    That, ladies and gentlemen is the essence of Botox face. One one expression, but hey, no wrinkles.

  15. Rick

    The shots of Lopez standing – now we know who can play the Penguin in the next Batman movie.

  16. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    jack-eyyy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hold me back Skeletor, I’m about to go all Jenny From the Block on that bitch, Jenny from the concrete block over her head.”

  17. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    jack-eyyy
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll tell you want, what I really really want – you to die you seat stealing wench who still has a career. All I have is Tom Cruise’s boyfriend and an amazing ability to play blue grass on my ribs”

  18. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    jack-eyyy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hmm..backhanding this male child in the head makes me feel slightly better. Now if only I can get my hands on those puppies for the dalmatian coat I want…”

  19. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    Mother of the Year
    Commented on this photo:

    “Tell me about the loneliness of good, He-Man. Is it equal to the loneliness of evil?”

  20. Ahnold

    Posh looks like a younger Mahweea–know what I’m sayin?

  21. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    jack-eyyy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Those seats, in the front. I’ll need 2 of them of course. Don’t worry about Victoria Beckham, she only needs a sliver of the chair corner. You can sit at my feet like a good lap dog..”

  22. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    Rick
    Commented on this photo:

    “Honey, you need to pull your tummy in a bit more”

  23. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    Randy Jackson
    Commented on this photo:

    “Not really one of my fantasies, but yeah, I’d fuck an older chick in her big fat ass while she gives the Nazi salute”

  24. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    miguelito
    Commented on this photo:

    The white chicks behind J-Lllo are all “Becky, would you look at her butt”?

  25. Jimmy

    Sometimes that Spice Girl she looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a Spice Girl… she’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When she comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living… until she bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’.

  26. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    miguelito
    Commented on this photo:

    Besides, VB totally got invited to the Royal Wedding.

  27. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    jack-eyyy
    Commented on this photo:

    When Skeletor met the Ice Queen: A story of love, betrayal, and living in the shadow of much better looking spouses

  28. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    Jennifer Lopez
    Commented on this photo:

    “Well, my saddlebags are packed and I’m off! Goodbye all!”

  29. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    Jennifer Lopez
    Commented on this photo:

    “Just once I’d like to relax with my husband and not feel the cold hands of Death on me”

  30. JC

    Soooo, tell me who you’ll stab, who you’ll really really stab!
    I’ll tell you who I’ll stab, who I’ll really really stab!

  31. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    karen
    Commented on this photo:

    A man controlling Jennifer Lopez’s zombie husband almost got him to punch her in the stomach but at the last second she used her smart phone to deactivate the zombie joystick.

  32. NTT

    That’s not jealousy, that’s hunger.

  33. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    karen
    Commented on this photo:

    Sure, Beckham’s glare was unsettling, but what really freaked everybody out was her attempt at smiling.

  34. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    karen
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s thinking “…right…on…my…clit”

  35. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    m3essential
    Commented on this photo:

    she really does have the most beautiful hair.

  36. Victoria Beckham

    “It puts the lotion on its skin…”

  37. Her deathly stare is down to the fact that catering didn’t come through with her requested lettuce leaf for the event. A woman has to eat, ya know.

  38. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t think she’s shooting any looks, that’s her regular face. Try to find a picture of her smiling, good luck. Imagine poor David, trying to get off while lying on top of this zombie.

  39. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    Handsome Genius Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Christ! Posh looks like an alien from a Doctor Who episode. Cold, soulless and hungering for human life essence. LOOK OUT, RANDY DAWG!

  40. Amy

    Sadly, I think that may be how her face always looks.

  41. the captain

    psssst: buying a shotgun isn’t that difficult in the states.

  42. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    Maeby
    Commented on this photo:

    Everyone is like : hmmm, i thought that butt would be….cuter : /

  43. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    Maeby
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she poop out that baby? Where the hell did it go?

  44. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    Audrey Jo
    Commented on this photo:

    It could have been much worse if Becks were with her on second row, glancing at that quintessential ass.

  45. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    Audrey Jo
    Commented on this photo:

    AND they both were the same shoes!!! (Thank God Vicky left the pony tail and the weird fascinator at home)

  46. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    IKE
    Commented on this photo:

    That bitch looks evil!

  47. DFLY

    It amazes me how hard she tries to hide her pregnancy. She’s obviously not following the Holly Wood trend to flaunt her pregnant belly. Cue in the cleverly designed dress + large handbag/clutch to cover her stomach. Also her pregnancy “glow” is nowhere to be seen.

  48. terry

    Fashionably late=Back of the bus, bitch!

  49. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    adolf hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    lol, horrible.

  50. Victoria Beckham Jennifer Lopez JLo Simon Fuller Star
    adolf hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    oh, look. a camera. let me put on my nice face: -_-

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