Vanilla Ice: Storm Rider

Yesterday, I watched Florida Governor Rick Scott say, “This storm will kill you,” while encouraging anyone close to Hurricane Matthew’s path to evacuate. Vanilla Ice (pictured above trying to make sure your kids never sleep again) decided that somehow didn’t apply to him, so he stayed and promised to tweet updates.

And update he did, a stunningly brave six times.

Clear facts, but with some important insight right there. Suck it, dead Walter Cronkite.

Pure poetry. I’m pretty sure this is exactly what Jim Morrison had in mind all those times he pulled his dick out onstage.

Yep, there’s a hurricane arriving. They are dangerous and terrifying like you were told repeatedly for days ahead of this.

Breathtaking level of detail in this storm reporting, Ice. You’re like Helen Hunt in Twister, except you look way more like an old lady now than she does.

If we don’t start hearing about turd water flooding this guy’s flip properties soon, I’m gonna freak out.

Counting it. Vanilla Ice is covered in his own poop. This was totally worth it now.

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