Vanessa Bryant Got $75 Million And 3 Mansions

January 20th, 2012 // 64 Comments

TMZ has just released the details of Kobe and Vanessa Bryant‘s divorce settlement, and can we finally start calling marriage the Cadillac of Prostitution? Because, seriously, when the job’s done, a court of law makes you sure get paid 10 times as much for only a quarter of the sex that 90% of the time doesn’t even involve oral or anal. It’s tops!

Vanessa is walking away with $75 million, which we’re told represents close to half of their total assets, estimated at around $150 million.
TMZ previously reported several transfers of property earlier this year between Kobe and Vanessa. It turns out, based on the property settlement, Vanessa scored a clean sweep, snagging ALL THREE of the former couple’s mansions in the Newport Beach area.
Vanessa gets the estate the couple was living in, the estate her mom is living in, and she gets the new estate that had been under construction for 2 years and was just completed.

Somewhere Kris Jenner is reading this and finding herself more moist than the night she lured Khloe‘s dad out of the woods with a trail of beef jerky. — Ha! I’m joking. Her vagina’s nothing but space-age polymers and diamond cubbies now. Serious about the Sasquatch shit though.

Photos: Getty


  1. it had to be said

    So, Kobe was right. He should have just paid for ass like Shaq did.

    • fpp

      Food,Fashion,F#cking and Finance.
      This is what mankind has Evolved to.
      Pretty women are nice to look at but not so fun to screw because they are so into themselves instead of who’s in them.
      The laws governing matrimony has always been slanted toward the female as it is slowly removing the love component out of marriage and replacing it with a business approach.
      A piece of ass can take down a Fortune 500 company in one night.
      Taxpayers have just financed over 780 million dollars worth of stimulation when we saved the big banks a couple of years ago.
      Kobe will be okay in the long run and so will his children, which is what the courts made sure of in this case.
      Who wants to come in behind Kobe and have a serious relationship with his ex-wife and his children?.. Another Pro sports figure? Or maybe a movie star.. How about a CPA???

  2. Bianca

    I’m really starting to think this whole “going to college and living an honest life” thing is overrated.

    • cc

      It is actually, if you are a woman. Even if you don’t land a professional athlete, if you land a doctor or a lawyer and play your cards right you can end up in a 4,000 sq ft house with enough alimony to never work again. Just ask my lawyer friend, a partner in a law firm, who is back living in his mother’s basement.

      • MILF

        We’re not all greedy wenches, I swear!! I can’t stand women who think that just because they’re beautiful they deserve some type of fantasy life. Men are idiots to marry these women. It doesn’t help that athletes are so dumb.

      • Dan

        RE: MILF

        Me too… I usually make fun of how those type of women look with some backhanded compliment. The look of confusion at why I am not begging them to be with me is priceless.

    • Cock Dr

      RE: “overrated”
      Maybe, but being self sufficient and owing nothing to no one sure feels good.

      • Dan

        RE: Cock Dr.

        And it actually makes it better for guys because they know you actually like us for who we are and not just looking and seeing money.

  3. Dumb People r Dumb

    Russell Brand will get what, 40 million?

  4. Josh

    I would have just had her killed. A hitman and a murder trial is a lot cheaper than a divorce these days. *I keed, I keed…*

    • it had to be said

      Just turn her over to Karl Malone. Won’t be much left of her when he’s done.

    • vekfan

      ^This! I would sooner have the wife killed than lose half my money, especially if she was a cheating whore.

      • pfk

        I’m pretty sure Kobe was the cheating whore in this case, lol. Anyway, when news of this impending divorce hit I read several comments on different sites that suggested this was all part of a deal made back in Kobe’s raping days. If Vanessa had left him at the time it would not have looked good in a courtroom. So… a $4M ring and 8 more years brought their marriage to the 10 year threshold in California law. I’m sure Kobe was aware of this threshold because there are no doubt lots of people he pays to look after his money. If she was such a terrible person then he would have divorced her before that 10 year mark. Instead, he chose to expose her to any diabolical disease he might have picked up. And btw, she was not legal when they met and was barely legal when they married. She bore him 2 children, stood by her rapist like a good little girl, and put up with a whore for 10 years. Now it’s pay day, and I’m sure Kobe saw it coming.

  5. DFCtomm

    If you intend to write something that you’re going to retract and apologize for within 24 hours then at least make it interesting. Say you would have stopped 9/11 or something like that.

  6. Nothin’ but net.

  7. dontlooknow

    Kim K gives a shout out to Vanessa – “You’re my hero!”

  8. doctor snuggles

    ………..but she still is a racist, folks.

  9. Angela

    You go grrl! Flash a little T & A, let him go off and do his thing and make his money…then empty the fool’s wallet! She played the player like the pinhead that he is. This is how every girl should do it.

    • I seriously don’t understand the taboo of a prenup. It’s always argued that it’s a sign the relationship won’t work, but it’s just a legal arrangement that protects everybody’s asses with set terms and amounts. Any person who doesn’t consider it, especially going in to a lopsided wealthy relationship, is probably marrying a gold digger.

      • Dan

        I am kind of torn on this one because I do think Kobe is an asshole.

        That being said, I have a pretty middle class lifestyle and I will never get married again without a prenup.

    • pfk

      She was seventeen and a backup dancer for some music video Kobe was filming for his singing career (lol) so I don’t think there was too much flashing of T & A. Who knows, if she hadn’t met him and felt thrilled that “The Great Kobe Bryant” took a liking to little-old-nobody her she may have been the next JLo. It seems to me that marrying a cheating whore rapist at the age of 18 makes her the played one.

      • derrickp

        if you go look up vanessa back ground she’s another kim k and thats a fact kobe only stayed because of his kids women are so stupid stop thinking with your feelings and use your head vanessa has done dirt aswell the media makes things look bad to get a check you dont know the truth about their relationship unless you are kobe or vanessa people are so judge meantal and believe anything thats why the world is so f**ked

  10. mrsmass

    how will she get by with only 3 estates?

  11. AdamG

    75 million, 3 mansions and herpes?

  12. Tammy

    When you’re done with him, cash him out. Nice to see a woman who calls the shots.

    • DFCtomm

      Wow. I don’t know what could be creating all the hate that you see on the Men’s rights websites. They must just hate women for absolutely no reason at all.

      • pfk

        There is absolutely no reason men who hate women should have to have anything to do with them in an intimate, contractual way. So why do they? Every example that’s ever been pointed out to me regarding men being driven over the edge because of some unfair advantage women have has turned out to be nothing more than a narcissistic sociopath who didn’t get his way (“his way” usually being some form of ownership over a woman and her kids). In the state I live in there is no alimony and judges that award $28 a month child support for a disabled child. I’m not kidding. As you can probably guess, the men here don’t even pretend to want custody. Btw, I think Tammy was being facetious. You know, contemptuous toward women.

  13. Vanessa Bryant Kobe Bryant Divorce Settlement
    Commented on this photo:

    I really dont understand how divorce works, a woman who has basically zero value and zero accomplishments can take all of that which the man earns. I understand she would be out on the street and homeless if he didnt look after her ,but does he really have to give more than half of his stuff to that useless whore.

    • IKno

      She’s the mother of his children, not a useless whore.

    • EliinMia

      well HE DID cheated and she gave him a chance and he cheated again. I say a cheater should be punished. They always have a choice to not cheat or better yet tell their partner is not working out or something. But unfortunately is through assets that they get punished. Yea she doesnt really have any “value” per say but lucky her! Set for life.

    • Cs

      how is she a useless whore.

      She’s been married to him since she got out of high school, he on the other hand cheated on her. Who is more useless…

  14. Mr. Poop

    Kobe and his 40-50 million earnings yearly may not be able to get by without those mansions.

  15. WTF is this World

    This is just disgusting. Kobe is an a-wad and I don’t argue that his X should get 50% of the assets, but can’t some legal rep zoom in on this say, 75 million and 1 estate is enough for the women who didn’t earn a dime. I get it…she supported him, raised his kids, and quietly sat by as his poked some other whore(s). But, at the end of the day she is set, she doesn’t deserve those homes.

    • !!!!!!!

      no sympathy for kobe. it was up to kobe to protect his assets but he was thinking with the little head and not the big head. too bad.

      if he wanted the money, he should have gotten a pre-nup. any man who doesn’t need not cry a river when the woman runs off with his cash.

    • pfk

      I believe those 3 estates are part of that $75M figure. Also, I don’t think the money is given in one lump sum. On another site a lawyer said something about the money being doled out over the span of a few years, which would mean Kobe can pay off the cash settlement with the interest he earns from his remaining assets and future earnings. She filed for joint custody so I don’t know what that means in terms of child support, and in California I believe any alimony a spouse is awarded is determined by that spouse’s employment. In other words, a spouse can only get alimony if s/he works. Also, lifetime alimony doesn’t exist in California. Anyway, this could all be bupkus because the media reported that Elin Woods was getting $500M from Tiger when she really “only” got $90M, and Tiger apparently chose to give her that because, unlike Kobe, he DID have a prenup (though that could have been what the prenup actually stipulated under certain circumstances. Prenups aren’t necessarily to ensure a “wife” ends up penniless when hubby is through with her. They are also for the protection of the person who may not bring much money into a marriage but will have to put up with a lot of shit.)

  16. WTF

    This is why you NEVER, EVER GET MARRIED.

    Why does this whore deserve $75 mil? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t call her a whore. Whores are honest, hard working, decent women. It is an insult to whores every where to call this gold digger a whore.

    I agree with Josh. I would have just had her killed and buried in a Mexican desert. And I’m not kidding.

  17. dontkillthemessenger

    The words “half of their total assets” is pretty much the funniest thing I’ve ever read on this site.

    Sometimes when I go to the movies, my friend has $100 and I have a quarter. I guess we use our total assets to pay for those tickets.

  18. right

    “Somewhere Kris Jenner is reading this and finding herself more moist than the night she lured Khloe‘s dad out of the woods with a trail of beef jerky.”


  19. Bot

    Somehow I am trying to incorporate a Nacho Cheese joke at Kobe’s expense

  20. Jam

    But still, $75M is peanuts compared to what Michael Jordan’s exwife got. What was it, half of his $400M fortune?

  21. Tr8cthis

    If your in that stratosphere your not raising your kids your 1+ nanny’s are. If you think she was cleaning dirty diapers and waking up at 3 am for feedings your fooling yourself.

  22. This marriage was doomed from the beginning. Kobe is an idiot but 75 million is a shit ton of cash. If she was on her back earning that money, maybe he wouldn’t have had to go elsewhere for the freaky stuff!

    • pfk

      He could have divorced her before the 10-years-and-then-split-the-assets-down-the-middle threshold was reached. Maybe he didn’t want to do the freaky stuff with the mommy of his children.

  23. JungleRed

    Apparently you can put a price on dignity. $70-80 million judging by Kobe and Tiger’s busted marriages.

  24. NBA Coach

    Seriously, no women is worth losing $75 million and 3 mansions over… DAMN! I don’t care if fucking her cures cancer and she farts sunshine and rainbows. Even if she caught him wiping his dick on the drapes after banging the maid. What could she possible have done in the married that’s worth that much… and please don’t say taking care of the home & kids, or some shit like that. When are you jocks going to fucking learn “DON’T GET MARRIED!!!” and if you are at least get an decent prenup; get married & keep residence in a place that doesn’t automatically give half your shit away before your spouse even walks into divorce court.

    • pfk

      I agree. On the other hand people were up in arms over Kelsey Grammer’s (sp?) ex getting half his $100M but he was practically a pauper when he married her. He had no head for finances and she did. That’s where the $100M came from. And lets face it, being adept at throwing a ball through a hoop doesn’t cure cancer, either. I understand Kobe’s talent is something people choose to value with their own hard-earned money in the free market and I wouldn’t have it any other way. But Kobe chose to value Vanessa. She may not be important to you, but she was apparently important to him, and he got his genes into the gene pool with 2 beautiful kids who seem to have a good mom. (But maybe I’m wrong on that. I don’t know and you don’t either). Btw, I think those 3 mansions are part of the $75M, not over and above it. That would be far more than half his assets.

  25. Ed

    My son is not a jock, he doesn’t earn millions of dollars playing with a large rubber ball on a court or on a field. But he has seen “gold diggers” just like this. He works hard to make a $1300 dollar a month house payment so he can have his own home. And I hope that if he ever does meet a woman that he will have enough sense to have her sign a pre-nup.

  26. Ed

    Young girls are learning very fast that if you are pretty, you don’t need to go to college and have your own career. All you need to do is find some rich guy that will marry you, spread your legs for a few years, and then take the idiot to the cleaners and live the life a luxury. Why work for a living when all you have to do is fuch. Prostitutes have done it for years, but if you find a rich guy to marry you, all you have to do it for is a few years. Prostitutes have to do it longer.

    • pfk

      Maybe there are a lot of little girls who have grown up with absent daddies, dead-beat daddies, alcoholic daddies, unemployed loser daddies, and daddies who felt it was an important part of their parental role to introduce their daughters to Mr. Johnson. And all of that was just fine with all the other daddies in the world until the day those daddies find themselves worrying that their sons will be used by some female who has figured out men aren’t good for much of anything except money.

      If you taught your son to respect women then he will probably be attracted to women who respect themselves and him. If you taught him to despise them as using whores then the good ones will have nothing to do with him and he won’t notice them anyway. That means you will either get a daughter-in-law from hell and screwed up grandkids or no daughter-in-law at all and no grandkids.

      Men create whores. If you don’t believe me then look up the Pashtun tribe of Afghanistan and see for yourself.

  27. Vanessa Bryant Kobe Bryant Divorce Settlement
    Commented on this photo:

    First of all how the hell can you put value on human life? All of you sound like a bunch of inhumane beings just by the way you think. Maybe she didn’t raise her own children, she had a little help. She definetly gave birth to those children. Could anyone do that for her? HELL NO! No one gives a shit about Kobe Bryant. Yes he’s a good ball player and THAT’S IT! He made his own bed, now he has to lay in it. What more is it for a man to gain the world and loose his soul to the damnation of Hell forever. Think about that. Money and things cannot save your soul . In the end you have to answer to the Lord for the life you lived (and you will, whether you want to believe it, or not). Now put that in your pipe and smoke it.

    • Cs

      Yeah too many people here put too much value on money. Some other poster said he would kill his wife instead of giving her half his cash and he said he was serious which is truly sad.

  28. Fatbelly

    This is a bunch of Shit if you had one $$$ and had to give someone 65c i’d be pissed!! if your that RICH? PRENUP…………

  29. Crazy Canuck

    The article says “she recieves $75 million and 3 mansions” yet his net worth (note I said HIS because she did not earn a goddamn penny) is estimated at 150 million. People are debating on here that it’s “only 75 million including the mansions” but I suspect because there is no mention of alimony that the mansions are in addition to the $75 million.

    In any event, Kobe is stupid, he should have had a pre-nup and then he would not have to pay this gold digger what he did. He is lucky he does not have to pay vaginamoany on top of that for prior usage of a vagina. In addition to the already OUTRAGEOUS compensation that she is recieving, she will also get inflated “child support” payments to the tune of I would wager no less than $100,000 per month because it’s based on his NBA salary. He will be paying “child support” until these crumb crunchers are 18 so that will add up to millions of dollars for this gold digger too.

    When are these athletes going to learn NOT to get married or at the very least have a goddamn pre-nup? They are rich, famous, attractive and can have ANY woman they want ANYTIME so I would never get married. Even after their professional careers they can still nail everything that moves because money and power will get you anything you want.

    • HollywoodJ

      ill be nice and stop at this. . . child support cannot exceed $5000 a month per child. . . and the 75mil. covers the alimony, and likley the child support. . . . “ask me how i know”. . .

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