Partially because this pic didn’t get nearly enough awesome captions in yesterday’s Crap We Missed and partially because each of these shots are why we have an Internet, here’s Val Kilmer on the set of Untitled Terrence Malick Project that I’m now pretty sure is about Natalie Portman‘s Sookie Stackhouse meeting Jim Morrison who’s back from the grave to do weddings with his new band “Singz 4 Wingz” except it’s all told through three hour long shots of him combing his hair. It’s the kind of cinema we’ve come to expect from Malick only this time with fake breasts, freakishly long Irish penis and Madmartigan belting out “Total Eclipse of the Heart” whenever he’s not mouthing the words, “I said blue cheese, Peck.”
Photos: WENN
And he came to a door…and he looked inside…Father, yes son, I want to kill you…Mother…I want to…WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Wait, this isn’t a what would it be like if Jim Morrison didn’t die sequel?
Val Kielbasa.
Just saying,
http://celebrities.ninemsn.com.au/img/slideshow/wtfface/wtf_donatella.jpg
Val Kilmer in drag or Donatella Versace?
This is for that Meat Loaf bio pic, right?
What a bitch it is to get old. He used to be so great looking.
Yes, I feel sad for him.
He was still cute in Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. Good movie! Download it. :)
I have a microphone and you don’t so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!
All this for a Flowbee commercial?
Shit he looks like Gwildor! (Google it)
Here’s the audio transcript:
“So Jesus’ wife says “And where have YOU been for the past three days, Mr. Winemaker?” And Jesus say “It’s okay, I’ll tell you…Not that’s important or anything, but I was DEAD!!! I’M IN A FUCKIN’ GRAVE OUTSIDE OF TOWN! I’M FIGHTIN’ DEATH, HELL, DECOMPOSURE! I’M CHANGIN’ SPIRITUAL FORM, ABOUT TO ENTER THE KINGDOM OF GOD, AND I GO “WAIT A SECOND! I GOTTA GO BACK BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE I’VE BEEN!”
Nah, Jesus could never have been married.”
Why did they cast Kato Kaelin in the Evil Dead remake?
Terrence Malick is remaking The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Do we spend an hour of the movie in a factory watching the chainsaw being painstakingly manufactured from raw material to finished product?
Sing Crazy Train!!!
Poor Val, he peaked when he played Doc Holliday and it’s been downhill ever since.
He didn’t play Doc Holliday. He WAS Doc Holliday.
Wow, this post was the third thing I’ve read today containing the phase “freakishly long Irish penis” (Grandma likes to keep me up to date about her friends in the retirement community).
It’s so nice to know there are men out ther who make Grigori and me look healthy, sane and almost good-looking. Looks like he’d be happy to have a few dozen drinks with us.
Come to think of it, he probably did,
Portman doesn’t look hot. She looks like a dude from below the boobs.
“Galileo! Galileo!”
Are all those, chins…his?!
Come on, come on, come on, come on
Now fed me, babe
Can’t you see that I am not satiated?
Where is that sandwich that you made?
Why won’t you grab me that lemonade?
What’s that meat called that you flayed?