Val Kilmer Has A Great Pitch For ‘Heat 2′:
‘So Remember Natalie Portman? I Bang Her’

June 27th, 2013 // 19 Comments
All Jokes Aside
Natalie Portman Cleavage Legs Miniskirt
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It’s been a weird week, so here’s a weird, yet awesome, story about Val Kilmer telling Larry King his pitch for Heat 2 which conveniently involves his character banging Natalie Portman. But not in a sexual way! It’s only to piss off Al Pacino. Via The Wrap:

“Here’s my pitch,” Kilmer said. “You remember Natalie Portman in it? She’s Pacino’s adopted daughter, so she comes home and says, ‘Daddy, daddy, I want you to meet my fiancé.’ And it’s me. He’s retired and I come to Chicago where he’s retired back to and I’m going to torture him, and then I’m going to kill him.”

“So your character’s sole motivation for making love to Natalie Portman is to murder Al Pacino?”
“Yes.”
“Val, I haven’t had an erection in 30 years. Right now? Turgid.”
“Why thank you, Larry.”

Photos: ADTJ/AKM-GSI, Splash News

superficial

  1. Johnny p!

    As long as Larry didn’t ‘Polish the Bishop’ on air…

  2. Guy

    He should kill Pacino’s wife in that sequel – she was beyond annoying and overacting (plus looks like a dude.)

    In fact, Heat 3 should reveal she WAS a dude…

  3. Heat 2: The Baconing…

  4. Remember Natalie Portman? He’s lucky if people remember Val Kilmer.

  5. I love it when actors come up with their own stories. Maybe he can get Jessica Alba to write the dialogue. I hear she does it on all her movies.

  6. He wants more full penetration in his movies.

  7. To be fair, “I bang Natalie Portman” is pretty much the starting point of every story I write. And by story I mean looking up pictures on the Internet and unzipping my pants.

  8. Banastre Tarleton

    Plot’s kinda thin. I would tease the “i’m fucking natalie” part for 3/4 of the movie, make this like “91/2 weeks”, then the big reveal which pits the forces of good and evil against each other in a furious display of violence and vengeance. All you need is a serious actor that bridge the tragio – comic stuff like Jonah Hill

  9. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    jack-n-the-hat
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s sweet their gay nanny gets to tag along…

  10. crb

    Well, somebody has to bang Natalie, might as well be Iceman

  11. Lisa

    He used to be so pretty. What the hell happened to him?

  12. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    navvet75
    Commented on this photo:

    I like all legs that can wrap around me.

  13. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    hank
    Commented on this photo:

    Dat gap

  14. Johnny Ringo

    Don’t mind him. He just drunk.

  15. Miss_Hideous

    Its Danielle Harris that plays the daughter, not Natalie Portman if I remember correctley.

  16. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    No jokes. Motherfucking shit she looks good here.

  17. Natalie Portman Implants Cleavage Texas Baylor Butt Tight Jeans Terrence Malick
    Commented on this photo:

    And God looked down upon his creation and said, “Dat is some sweet, sweet ass.”

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