V. Stiviano Allegedly Beaten, Called A ‘N*gger’ By Attackers In New York

By: The Superficial / June 2, 2014

According to her lawyer which immediately makes all of this sound extremely credible, V. Stiviano was allegedly attacked by a group of assailants in New York last night who apparently called her a nigger. Outside of the theory that she made all of this up because she never went to police but did, however, start firing off press releases to anyone desperate enough for pageviews (Hi.), that leaves us with three possible explanations: 1. Donald Sterling did this with his money because Magic Johnson has AIDS. 2. Racism still is a serious, violent problem in America. Or 3. “The Nightmare Scenario,” 15-year-old Justin Bieber has a TARDIS and we’re all good as dead. *slices open Photo Boy* And I thought he smelled bad – *catches breath* – on the outside. *crawls inside to wait out Armageddon*

Photo: Getty