Usher Truly Is The New Michael

June 22nd, 2012 // 18 Comments

Very, very rarely do I hesitate before pushing Publish on a post. This is one of those times. Here’s Usher in Atlanta yesterday using his sizable fame and fortune to genuinely help children in Atlanta which I, some asshole on the Internet, felt the need to add horrible, horrible captions to. However, keep in mind, this guy was also really into charities, and perhaps even worse, Usher subjected us all to Justin Bieber which is how I rationalized all of this to myself. Also, no joke, my cop neighbor brought me over smoked turkey wings and moonshine he just made while I was writing this, so Jesus wanted this to happen. There’s no other way to interpret that.

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DISCLAIMER: The Superficial is a parody site that no decent person has any business reading ever. Nothing we state here is a fact, or even close to a fact, except for that time I said I wanted to have sex with Kate Upton which I will fully testify to in a court of law, so help me God.

Photos: Getty

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  1. Dick Hell

    Nice slideshow Mr. Fish. On the downside, now we’re all goin’ to hell (where Teen Mom runs on a continuous loop).

  2. Irene

    There will never be another MJ!!! Many will copy but none will compare.

  3. A disclaimer? C’mon Fish, let’s continue to confuse the idiots.

    On a side note, are you trying to tell us that you CAN’T really predict pregnancies?

    PS. I’m not posting too quickly. It’s been a few minutes since my last post so the site is jacked again.

  4. Alex

    Ursher?

  5. Urvag

    So he won’t be purchasing exotic animals anytime soon?

  6. Me

    Can’t wait until the hipster fad is over. Usher had good fashion sense back when he was making music people wanted to listen to, now he looks like a huge douche.

    It’s one thong to be a hipster if you are in your early 20s, have no job or prospects, and no responsibilities. But if you’re almost 35 years old and have a couple kids, time to look like an adult.

  7. Usher Kids New Look Foundation World Leadership Conference
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Come over here and I’ll show you how to work this microphone.

  8. Usher Kids New Look Foundation World Leadership Conference
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    If I could click a little thumbs up on your caption, I would.
    Wait, I think I have an idea.

  9. Usher Kids New Look Foundation World Leadership Conference
    Kelsey
    Commented on this photo:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Usher Kids New Look Foundation World Leadership Conference
    mrsmass
    Commented on this photo:

    he is so punchable with those fucking glasses on.

  11. El Jefe

    If you have huge reservations about posting a post like this then you probably just should not have. I like Usher, my only problem is he needs a haircut and stop dressing like a stupid hipster, he and the o black pro athletes out there like Westbrook and Wade, it just looks retarded.

  12. mrsmass

    isn’t this douche nozzle responsible for making Justin Beiber famous? fuck em.

  13. Usher Kids New Look Foundation World Leadership Conference
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Notice that no matter how often Usher gets turned down he still won’t go near the ginger child.

  14. skunk

    the new Stephan Urkel

  15. Dave

    Usher is the black Michael Jackson.

  16. Kimberly

    I don’t get it. I can never tell how serious a post is. If you are serious…. I don’t give credit to celebrities’ “charity work” when cameras are there and it’s publicized. Many people who earn far less money and have far less free time do a lot more volunteer and charity work.

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