UPDATE: Britney Spears must take drug tests, parenting classes

September 19th, 2007 // 113 Comments

superficial

  1. LL

    I think the kid is cute. I think that Suri kid is cute, too, too bad her parents are farkin’ crazy.

    When a judge has to tell you you’re a suck-ass parent, you’re a bad mother. And father. K-Fed only looks this good because he’s got Britney to compete against. As The Superficial might say, a wood chipper is a better parent than Britney. An Al Qaeda suicide bomber is a better parent. A mile of broken glass is a better parent. I think you can see where I’m going with this…

  2. LK Bozic

    why does her son look like chris farley in that pic?

  3. umawwi

    People need to realize that Britney is just trying to shed this “good-girl” “girl-next-door” image and trying to appeal to an older, maturer audience. You’ll see. once her album comes out and her new fans accept her all this craziness is going to pass.

  4. Frick!

    It’s gonna be fricken impossible to get this girl to listen to what anybody has to say anymore, or actually obey them. I just don’t see it happening. Rebel, drug addict, whatever; she just ain’t gonna do it! Not even with the threat of her kids being taken away. I don’t see it happening. I see her more likely being hauled off to jail for not obeying the judge’s terms, and all that mumbo jumbo law crap. Yeh, that will be next; Britney hauled off to jail like the rest of the bimbo lot!

  5. katydid

    She’s probably thinking, “No drugs or alcohol for 12 hours before I get the kids? How am I supposed to put up with those little shits?”

  6. lola

    I give her to mid october to really screw things up for herself….she is already spotted out drinking and drugging and in no time we will see shots of the hairless cooch … She doesn’t have a “maternal bond” because she simply does NOT want to be a mother.

  7. PLEEEEASE

    #27 she is trying to appear to a more “mature” audience??? what the hell! does that mean!!! Drugging is NOT mature and possibly losing your children is trainwreck NOT mature???? She LOST the mature audience and has the trailer trash 13 and under audience…all Im saying so get your hillbilly ass together

  8. wedgeone

    This is getting better with every update! What’s the over/under for number of days before Britney blows it and loses her kids?

    I declare 9 days. Who wants to place a bet?

  9. havoc

    LMFAO!

    The best part was that pussy paparazzi/photog getting his foot run over!

    What a pussy! Try moving dumbass. Or better yet, get a REAL JOB.

    Fucking tapeworm……

    Maybe next time one of them will get killed.

    .

  10. Hah.. nice. Way to go, Brit.

  11. haha PARENTING FOR DUMMIES

  12. Danklin24

    Random drug testing twice a week? Isnt that an oxymoron? What the hell is so random about it?

  13. @ 32 Wedgeone – I am in for 12 days

  14. PunkA

    Next time I hope they plow the whole lot of paparazzi under. Scumbags. Trying moving away from the car next time instead of totally draping yourselves over it. If that dude sues, he should be checked for a brain. And a vagina.

  15. Danklin24

    #12 i pray to god you never have kids, jackass.

  16. PunkA

    I’ll take that action. Courts move slow, unless celebs are involved. I bet 16 days from when the testing starts. Anyone know when that begins?

  17. wedgeone

    OK, Jimbo takes the “over”. Check.

    FISH, Why did you have to move this post back up to the top? Please put Petra’s spread back where it was. I can speak for all of us when I say we’d much rather see a supermodel instead of a superwhore.

  18. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    someone stop them .. please

    http://testosterone-zone.com
    Daily Babe and blogs

  19. Frick!

    Y’all! I is cryin’ cause I slammed the car door on my damn hoo-ha again! Youch!Keep fergettin’ them panties! Dang! Oh yeh, my chitlin? Fuck them, I don’t need them stinkin’ kids no more…anyways, they effed up my career big time, so I’m given them the stinkin’ boot! I is country and thats the way we do it in them backwoods! So fuck y’all!

  20. LF

    Hahahahahahaha.

  21. jrzmommy

    “Okay, Ms. Spears…….We’re going to work on helping you help your boys to develop healthy eating hab………Ms. Spears this might be more useful to you if you take your head out of the bag of Cheetos so you can see what I’m doing here………..”

  22. Parenting-The Hardest Job We'll Ever Love!

    Hopefully this court ruling will give Britney the push she needs to get help and learn how to be a good parnet. My daughter is 11 years old and fears for her future generation that have been influenced by the likes of Spears and Lohan.

  23. Oh dear, Britney is going to fail her tests like she did in school all over again. Just retire already!

    http://www.bumpgossip.com/articles/16/1/Britney-Is-A-Big-Druggie—Tell-Us-Something-We-Didn039t-Know/Page1.html

  24. @41 Wedgeone – I agree, I am very tired of this stupid tramp in the news everyday

  25. jrzmommy

    You know, she was so busy working as a kid she never got to go to school and carry the little egg around in Sex Ed…….so this isn’t really her fault………..

  26. 27 is a moron

    “People need to realize that Britney is just trying to shed this “good-girl” “girl-next-door” image and trying to appeal to an older, maturer audience. You’ll see. once her album comes out and her new fans accept her all this craziness is going to pass.”

    ——————————————————————————————————–
    There’s so much wrong with this statement, I don’t even know where to begin. She’s trying to shed her good girl image. I think she succeeded after the 800th time she exposed her loose, flabby snatch to the world. Or the 600th time she left the house without pants. Or the 500th she was photographed with some skuzzy dude looking blitzed out of her gourd.

    And since when is being mature equated with being a skany, drugged up idiot who dodges responsibility, neglects her children and is completely disconnected with reality. Are you 12? Retarded? Or Britney Spears? (The last two are kind of the same thing, so sorry for being redundant.)

    And finally, “older, more mature” people wouldn’t buy this trick’s garbage. Her target age group is 12-17, anyone else older than that wouldn’t be caught dead listening to that mindless drivel she calls music unless they were as brain dead as Britney.

  27. fjioarue

    Of course she went out and partied after she got the ruling! She’s finally getting away from the responsibility of taking care of those kids!

  28. John Davis

    Those paparazzi should all be dragged off and shot. What a bunch of wankers.

  29. big butt bonanza

    At her weight, you’d think the story would sink to the bottom of the page.

  30. MrSemprini

    I’d pay to have her DNA tested to see if she is really human or a deformed orangutan. And, by deformed orangutan, I mean deformed orangutan. Maybe a nun. Nah, too easy.

  31. Wicked

    @32 I’m in for 16 days. Lets her sober up only to realize what a fuck up she’s been and drown the thoughts/sorrow with drugs, all night at a club, and then getting caught pantyless puking in the middle of the parking lot right before she passes out…whaddya think?

  32. Riotboy

    K-Fed should’ve practiced on his 1st kid with S. Jackson on how to be a parent.

  33. veggi

    @55- uh, did you follow me last night or something? weird.

  34. dr phil

    The upside is that she’s finally being forced to get help with basic parenting skills. The downside is that her class teacher is Savarin Dejesus:

    http://www.parentsbehavingbadly.com/2006/09/23/baby-drowns-in-moms-vomit-bucket/

  35. Calvin

    Paparazzi clouds should be illegal. I don’t care if it is public property or what. Its clearly harassment. Yeah, Brit and LiLo are pretty messed up and it is mostly their fault, but having a swarm like that around you any time you go outside would make the most collected person go a little nuts.

    The Paparazzi are leaches. Sure, they need to make a living, but how is it legal for them to drape themselves over cars to get a shot? I hope LA passes an act that keeps those roaches at least 50 feet from their targets.

  36. @57 Veggi – I follow you all the time. Nice driving last night. I like how you almost hit that tree.

  37. adeliza

    #50– RIGHT ON SISTER!!!!!

    Except for that I don’t think her snatch looked all that flabby. I think it looked like a piece of shaved ham.
    Accented with c-section scars, of course.

  38. Hemlock Queen

    Will it make them less white trash?

    Better parents?

    We shall see…

    Oh, and Britney is not living in reality. But we already knew that.

  39. hard lesson

    The funny thing is that any other guy (including Charles Manson) would have already received custody of the kids a long time ago. But with K-Fed… he is really the ultimate loser (only after the money anyways. remember: he did not care much about the custody of his other kids).

    So the poor judge just can’t do it. It must be really hard to be a judge on that case and decide between these two glorious examples of the human race…

  40. IWONKY

    She obviously doesn’t really want those kids. Hell, I wouldn’t want them either.

  41. pissy skank

    dig an underground hole & crawl in it already with OJ & MJ.

  42. jesso

    Seriously, leave her alone at this point

  43. IWONKY

    (K-Fed and Brit are barred from consuming alcohol or drugs within 12 hours of when they are scheduled to take care of their children, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1.)

    Britney’s Translation:
    Sounds like it’s okay fer me tah git stoned n drunk if ah ain’t ’bout tah be scheduled tah take care o’ mah brats. Wut gave dat damn judge da idea ah wanna take care of ‘em win ahm scheduled ta party?

  44. IWONKY

    I wonder if the judge would allow her to do porn within 12 hours of when she is scheduled to take care of her children, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1?

  45. Italian Stallion

    She took an IQ test and the results were negative, hopefully she gets the same results for her drug tests………

  46. SueSue

    @66, Jesso. You’re absolutely right. Just leave the poor girl alone. It’s just too, too sad. For everyone involved. Kids, parents, grandparents.

  47. ssdd

    UPDATE: TMZ is reporting that after receiving the judge’s orders, Britney went out partying last night

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Unfuckingreal.

  48. so suesue me

    “Leave her alone”? These are pictures and words. She’s not inside your monitor. We’re not actually interacting with her. You understand that we’re invisible to her, right? Or is she your “friend”???

  49. Mandy

    Before the grammar police or etiquette police attack me, Yes I like the word FUCK and if you don’t too fucking bad . . . don’t read this. It’s just a word. Get a clue.

    I really don’t give a rat’s ass either way what happens in this whole fiasco. We sit here and read all this shit and comment on it when there’s much more important things happening in the world. Somewhere someone is beating their kids . . . perhaps to death, somewhere (like Iraq) there’s a war going on and people are dying. I, too, am sitting here reading all of this so I am just as guilty as the next.

    What I don’t want to be guilty of however is judging someone on their parenting skills when obviously there is no evidence of outright abuse. The only thing I recall Britney doing that was actually crazy with her kids was when she put them in her lap and drove. That was just insane. Everyone fucks up though.

    Sit back and act like you are all the best damn parents in the world or like you were brought up so damn well by your own parents. God forbid someone fuck up. If you had the fucking media and paps breathing down your neck 24 / 7 I would LOVE to see how well they reported YOUR parenting skills! Good luck to all of you on that one.

    I am not a perfect parent by any means and I don’t claim to be one. I am not going to criticize another parent on their “skills” either . . . I mean, unless you see someone beating their child or unless that shit has been reported or there is evidence of it don’t attack them. What goes around will fucking come right back to you!

    So what if the girl smokes some pot. If you had the media up your ass you’d probably need a little something too . . . whether it be prescribed to you or not. I am not condoning drug use especially shooting up with needles and all that crap but damn people start worrying about things that are worth worrying about. Think about children that really need our help! There are kids MUCH worse off that Britney’s kids.

    One reason I say this is because they have nannies to take care of them. They are well fed, they have nice clothes on, their diapers get changed, they appear to get bathed . . . all in all they are being cared for. Their Mom has a job that REQUIRES much of her attention but she still sees that they are taken care of. Look at the majority of Hollywood stars who have children . . . they aren’t up their kids asses either. Most all of them have people to care for their children. Oh and it’s not only Hollywood . . . I am sure a good majority of working Moms everywhere have someone to look after their children. All of you Moms don’t want to admit the relief you feel when your kids go off to school but you know you feel it. You FINALLY get a piece of your life back.

    I am so sick of all these liars and fake fucking Moms! Stop putting on . . . your shit stinks too, dumb bitches. You aren’t perfect and your kid is probably the stupidest one the whole fucking class. They’re the little dork that doesn’t know how to do absolutely anything. It’s not their fault either; it’s Mama’s fault for constantly doing EVERYTHING for them from wiping their asses to basically breathing for the little shits. Oh and all these people judging Britney so harshly you were probably one those stupid kids . . .your Mom’s probably raised you just like that and now you are completely clueless to the real world.

    So what if Britney was nude. Big deal. Why is nudity even an issue? So I guess now we should take away all the PlayBoy models children too? RIIIIGHT. Well, if they are going to make it an issue for Britney then make it an issue for all them too.

    Most of her life she has been pushed to be as sexy as possible. I mean how old was she when she started this career of hers? Ever since then she has been molded to be what she is today. Sure along the way she had a choice but that choice was so small and so slim that it was near to none. I’d love to see ANY of you live through a day of her life let along try the last 10 years of it. Bullshit. You wouldn’t be any better off now than she is. Fucking fake ass people.

    Oh and as far as her VMA performance. Big deal that she has a little meat on her bones. This is coming from a girl who is 5′ 5″ and 120 pounds. I am relatively average as far as size is concerned. No one is EVER going to fit perfectly into society’s mold. You’re either too skinny or too fat. I say, fuck what people think. If they don’t like it then don’t look at it! At least Britney had the balls to get up and do what she does. How many of you can say that about yourselves? You probably are too fucking lazy to even drag your asses off your couches or out from your computer screens.

    Fucking hypocrites.

  50. Gone Erea

    Jeez, who invited Debbie Downer to the party?

    Mandy Moo, nobody is interested in you to read more than a few lines of a comment. Nothing personal, that’s just the way it works here. It’s a freeway, not a pasture.

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