Update: Mariah Carey Reveals Twins’ Names

May 4th, 2011 // 67 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

Of all people, I expected these two to really break out the crazy here, but they went all traditional and named their daughter Monroe, after an actress who died young tragically and their son Moroccan, after an interior decorating theme of a floor of their apartment. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go call my twin sister and brother (Murphy and Casual Elegance) to tell them the news.

The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, May 9.

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  1. AlexK

    Hold on a second. I have to go print this out and put it in my “who gives a shit?” file.

  2. Clarence Beeks

    Horrible names, but i would not have expected anything less from these 2.

  3. Damn, and I had money on “Thing 1″ and “Thing 2″.

  4. She doesn’t look pregnant in these pictures so much as she looks like one of those female truck drivers looking to kick someone’s ass. You know, it would take a tire iron to bring her down.

  5. Moroccan? She named her son an adjective?

    • Bucky Barnes

      Now don’t start getting all technical. They selected charming names for their twin baby elephants.

    • mr salty

      No, a noun: after the bag of mescaline she scarfed down the night they were conceived

    • Blech

      At least name the baby Morocco so he won’t have the shit kicked out of him too badly in preschool.

      • If his name was “Morocco” he could go by “Rocco”, which is fairly manly in a porn sort of way.

        Moroccan is an adjective, describing things of and or relating to Morocco. There is no alternative reality where it is a noun. It’s like naming your kid “supersize” or “Arabesque” or even “Jazzercise”. It’s bad enough when people want to give kids stupid names, but fuck…don’t just flip the dictionary and put your gross outie belly button on a word at random.

  6. Mr. T

    Christ I hope Osama wasn’t reincarnated and is now one of her twin babies….

  7. Bucky Barnes

    Seems apt somehow that both names contain the necessary letters to spell “moron.”

  8. I’m shocked, I was totally betting on Mariah & Hairam or Butterfly Glitter Princess & Prince Lamb. Not the name of the most emulated, cliched actress in Hollywood & an adjective for a Country based on the design of your favourite wing of your house…..on second thought, nevermind.

  9. adolf hitler

    quick, sebastian, protect ariel!

  10. Donald Trump

    This is one dumb bitch. Moroccan? Really? LMFAO.

  11. biggiejay

    I heard their first choice was Moose and Squirrel.

    • the only opinion that matters

      okay, I was reading along thinking, wow, people can be really nasty (yeah yeah I know, it The Superficial..anything goes) I mean they are just little babies, twin elephants, come on now, that is just mean, anyone with kids of their own could not be that mean. Then I read Moose and Squirrel and laughed out loud, funny without be nasty. I have to agree that Morrocan is an idiotic name, Monroe is okay though.

  12. Really

    I’m a little frightened of celebrities’ idol-worship of Marilyn Monroe. Can you imagine trying to explain to this little girl why she was named Monroe (and let’s not forget that they apparently dismissed “Marilyn” as a viable option)? “Well, she lacked self-esteem, died tragically at a young age after being abused by men and the Hollywood system, not mention abusing herself. But she was pretty!” Priorities!

    And the fact that Monroe is the lesser of evils here just speaks volumes.

  13. Jimmy

    Of course both names start with “M” because she is physically incapable of doing anything unless it somehow reminds her of herself.

  14. Dear Celebrities, stop trying so hard with the retarded baby names. You’re bat-shit crazy, we get it.

  15. Damn…..I think you guys got it all wrong….She’s not making babies….she’s eating them.Sure…she may have eaten twins at first but now it’s more than obvious she ate at least 8

  16. grammarpolice!

    “Of all people, I expected” –> misplaced modifier! makes it sound like “I”, of all people, expected crazy names, not “these two.” anyway..

  17. Star Droppings

    I think it’s sexy they named them after how they were conceived! Is a Moroccan Cannon like a Dirty Sanchez?

  18. sharon H

    Everyone has nailed it here. Absolutely retarded names which they “teased” her fans with for several days. Notice they teased her fans because he doesn’t have any, and, even if he did, do you really think she gives a shit? I knew the names would be pathetic and I was not let down with their moronic choices.

  19. BanDit82BaBy

    I choked out my bong smoke!! Lol!!

  20. Ramsey & Mid-Century Modern

    Can’t imagine that a name like “Moroccan Cannon” might get flagged by the TSA. Good thing big momma flies private.

  21. Mariah Carey Twins Names
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s like her face is a pimple on homer simpson’s head.

  22. TurkusMaximus

    They’ll call him Rocky.
    /gags

  23. Donald Trump

    I’d stick it in her loose vaj after she birthed those ugly rug rats.

  24. Robert Acquafresca

    Monroe is good because the kid has a 50/50 chance of becoming a Butler.

  25. Robert Acquafresca

    As for Morrocan, I think that is the name of Mariah’s favorite imported ice cream and they chose that name because they didnt want to seem pretentious by naming it Beluga after their favorite caviar and or whale.

  26. Donald Trump

    This dumb cow is the perfect example that not all pregnant women are beautiful.

    Oh that navel! Hide your eyes!

  27. ebaby

    I literally thought this was Tracy Morgan dressed up as a pregnant white woman

  28. Mariah Carey Twins Names
    EB
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought the twins were named “right boob” and “left boob”

  29. Spew

    You’re all wrong, that is a close up of Khloe’s fat clit

  30. KNOBGOBBLER3

    I’m not surprized they have jacked up names. She married a dude that looks like hes 12.

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  32. Marco

    Still no names for the other babies in her belly. It looks like she’ll give birth to a small litter.

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  35. Mariah Carey Twins Names
    Claire
    Commented on this photo:

    If her daughter didn’t pop out looking exactly like Francine from “Arthur”, I’m shouting egg donor.

  36. Since she already had the baby, and yet in this photo is still fat…I’m going to assume that this is a post birth photo and she’s just going to look like this forever now.

    Also, I’m going to assume her vagina looks like a vietnam war era shrapnel wound.

  37. This photo makes me never want to eat again. Can I sell it for profit? The Mariah Carey Vomit Diet …

  38. bill

    omg omg omg….they are annoucing the names!!!!!!
    Seriously?? Who gives a flying f***!!!! How self-consumed these two are. And the defenders on this page are pathetic….
    Who gives a sh**…..really.

  39. like we care? and if we do, that was really very stupid… what were they thinking giving one the baby the name Moroccan? that is not cool at all.. yikes… i i were the baby, i’d change name after i am born…

  40. wow

    these names suck!! To classyand moronish mariah and nick!

  41. AndIThoughtIWasNuts

    Moroccan Canon…..LOL. Tough break kid. No worries, you have 16 years to come up with a new one.

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