Uma Thurman’s man hunt

December 7th, 2005 // 16 Comments

uma_thurman_thumb1.jpgUma Thurman is on the hunt for a new man, insisting that she is still “out there and available if anyone’s interested”

She told Grazia magazine: “As one who adores the male species, I feel compassionately towards them. I’ve studied them carefully like a hunter watches its prey. I love all the guys out there.”

When you’re a rich, beautiful, famous blonde actress, I have a hard time believing it’s too difficult to find a man. Uma probably has to hunt for men about as much as Samuel Jackson has to hunt for self tanner. It’s like I was telling her the other night in bed, “Babe, you have too much dignity to go slumming after a man. Ok? Good. Now go ahead and re-grease the vibrating donkey.”

superficial

  1. Vibrating donkey? And she told me she wasn’t into toys!

  2. ElFurbe

    Is there a web site or PO BOX to submit my name and number for this search? I would certainly not be opposed to being William Thacker to Uma’s Anna Scott. No sir ee.

  3. Hmm…lets’s see. She’s a six foot tall blonde who starred in a movie about a deadly female assassin, Quentin Tarantino is obsessed with her feet and she dated Ethan Hawke….

    And she wonders why she can’t find a man?

    She’s intimidating as hell.

  4. HollyJ

    She has feet and hands like an NBA star. If the old saying is true about the size of feet being related to the size of the penis, then she must have a clitoris the size of a golfball. And those veiny man-hands seriously need a little Oil of Olay…

    I secretly suspect that Uma played the giant Norwegian woman in ‘Duece Bigalow Male Gigalow.’ I’m SURE those were Uma’s feet he was rubbing down with oil. SURE of it.

    “KEEP IT IN THE CIRCUS, FREAK!”

  5. Popz9

    does anyone find this woman attractive? i’m pretty sure that ethan hawk’s earring got stuck to one of her armpit hairs and that’s how she carried him around under her arm for so Goddam long…

  6. hafaball

    yeah, i agree with Nikk, if any guy did date her, and made a wrong move, there goes his penis. And I don;t mean that in the masculinity sort of way, I mean she’ll wrip off his penis and throw it in his face, but that’s after killing him 3 times before he;s hit the ground.

  7. pixel killya

    Quite possibly one of the ugliest women I have ever seen. Saw the beach pictures, she is just nasty.

  8. derekd

    She definately does nothing for me and those feet ARE huge! She has two kids with Ethan Hawke. I mean the kids I can handle but who wants to have to deal with that douche bag. However brief it may be.

  9. archyros

    I have never seen what is supposed to be so beautiful about this woman.

    But now I am starting to feel sorry for her.

    And pitiful women turn me on.

  10. kasia

    Ummm, she’s engaged to marry her bf of two years, so that was rather a rhetorical quote.
    I love her quirkiness and because Im same height as her, and even have the similar “weird” looks as her, but hey, she’s better than a bunch of regualr useless Hollywood hoes who get all the attention.

  11. nikki

    thanks to Uma, desperate chicks have an opening to pretend that they are not.

  12. becca11

    pixell whatever you must be blind and retarded. I would bet good money you’re far uglier.Apparently shes gorgeous compared to janeane garafallo… so that would make her not the ugliest. You might not know this but usually when people make the covers of Vogue and Elle and other magazines, they are considered not only not the UGLIEST person, but… attractive.

  13. kaida

    C`mon ppl Uma is gorgeous + an extrordinaty actress stop bitchin arround

  14. TheLuciousDeluxe

    She may not be some people’s type, but Uma is not UGLY…be serious. If she’s having trouble finding a guy though, maybe she should try an internet dating service. There are plenty of lonely guys online who like women with big feet. I’m sure there are entire websites dedicated to it!

  15. if this really is lindsay email me at hanging_out-friends@hotmail.com!! peace

  16. I am sure that earring Ethan Hawk got stuck one of his armpit hair and so she wore it around the fore arm

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