U2 finally make themselves useful

March 5th, 2009 // 50 Comments

Apparently, U2 frontman Bono is putting aside his yammering about eliminating word hunger long enough to make an actual difference in people’s lives. The singer and his bandmates commemorated their five-show run on The Late Show With David Letterman by shoveling the sidewalk in front of the Ed Sullivan Theater. Which seems about right, since the sound of shovels scraping against a cold sidewalk provides roughly the same amount of aural entertainment that their new album, No Line on the Horizon, does. But you have to give them credit for bonding over the honest activity of manual labor. The band that sweats together, stays together. And builds up a powerful, manly aroma together. In this case, probably an aroma not unlike the mingled odors of stale Guinness and self-righteousness.

Photo: WENN
superficial

  1. queen

    Ever saw this one on ___ Affluentmeet Com ___
    It ‘s where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!

  2. matilda jeffries

    hilarious. i love this

  3. Druw

    Eff that. U2 is cooler than you.

  4. LB

    U2 are fantastic and are way better than most half-a$$ groups that call themselves “rock bands”

  5. Just about the only thing I hate more than U2 is people that like U2 and think that shit is music. Give me a break. Bunch of monkeys.

  6. Cliff Burton

    2 bad that isn’t CD’s of their music, then you could say they were shoveling shit.

  7. Danklin24klin24

    Umm, their new album is actually pretty great fish. U2 is one of the greatest bands still around today. Fact.

  8. Zack

    Hell yes, they’re self-righteous, especially Bono. But at least Bono isn’t all talk and their music certainly stands up to the whiny emo fagboy stuff put out by “rock” bands today (not to mention the Fisher-Price beats and kindergarten rhymes of hip-hop “artists”).

  9. Tom K

    Hilarious!

  10. chadisrad

    Well put #9.

    This site is so predictable and the creativity of the writers has gone to shit. Not to mention all the losers who love to write “FIRST” 10 times.

  11. Captain_Insano

    U2′s music has sucked monkey balls ever since that one good song from that Batman movie.

  12. farty mcshitface

    actaually #9 zack, bono (aka paul hewson) is just that. he is all talk. i can’t deny i like the music but, bono is a serious piece of shit. he loves to cruise the planet on his crusade of smug righteousness bitching about how corporations are tax dodging empires of evil when he isn’t bitching about us not doing more to fix that unfixable mess that is africa.
    i would love to see the adoring press put a little more effort into the truth about u2 like the fact that they moved their base of operations out of ireland where they live so THEY don’t have to pay their taxes like they should. they moved it to the netherlands where all they pay are much smaller royalty fees. bunch of goddamned fucking hypocrites!!!
    besides- lets see the press report on this, i would like to see how much of his own money mr. hewson gives to africa and his other causes he gets so many awards for.
    bono can eat my shit!!!

  13. The Editor of Greyskull

    eliminating “word hunger”?

    Possibly if they just started grunting on stage.

  14. gauntsmug

    Word hunger. Poetic, asshole. I think you suffer from word hunger. Ladies?

    #11 couldn’t be more right. This site has certainly seen better days.

    Meanwhile, I love comment threads like this one because they make plain the direct correlation between literacy and a love of U2.

  15. friendlyfires

    Say, stupid fish Al, have you cured gonorrhea between your ears?
    Thought so ….

  16. Ambrose

    My favorite is the guy behind the self-righteous one. Shoveling and smoking. Bono can eat shit and die. Maybe he should consider helping his own fucked-up country before he comes over here and starts bashing ours. Paul Hewson: hahahahahahahahaha. That made my day.

  17. farty mcshitface

    well actually #9 zack, bono (aka paul hewson) IS all talk. when he isn’t bitching and moaning about us not giving more money to fix that unfixable money pit that is africa, he likes to bitch about things like how corporations like to screw over people and nations out of things like tax dollars. when back in 2006 about 6 months before ireland was about to end an exemption on musicians royalty income what did ol’ bono and company do?– they moved their base of operations to the netherlands to avoid it. they still live in ireland and make bajoodles of cash as always but found a way of not paying their fair share.

    i won’t deny i like their music (at least most of it) but, bono is a smug, self righteous goddamned fucking hypocrite. when the press isn’t too busy adoring bono like he’s the white obama, i’d love to see them do a little investigating as to whether or not this little jerk ever donates ANY of his many, many millions of dollars to africa or anywhere for that matter. they don’t talk about that issue for a reason. they just talk about where he is today and what he wants others to do.
    bono can eat my shit!!!!

  18. Randal

    U2 continues to stand the test of time with their hard ripping cords and with the lyrical backing of Bono, they will stand the test of time — another Rolling Stones in the making — and memory of the musical industry.

    Randal

  19. Ted

    “bono (aka paul hewson) IS all talk”

    Bono is a self-righteous hypocrite in many ways, but it’s undeniable that he personally pressured Western leaders to commit to helping Africa with poverty and AIDS. He and his lobbyists in Washington pushed George Bush to do the one good thing of his presidency: fighting AIDS in Africa with the resources needed for a real fight. The G8 summit includes these problems now, specifically because of Bono’s very public pressure. It’s far more than other rock stars have ever accomplished in the humanitarian domain.

  20. doogleberg

    I’ve never had a problem with the opinionated comments on this website until now. Twenty-two Grammy awards and 145 million unit sales doesn’t happen in rock music if you’re bad writers and musicians.

    The Superficial can officially go fuck themselves now.

    Go listen to Pink or 50 Cent or P.Diddy or Puddle of Mudd or whatever other horseshit acts you have on your fucking iPod and leave the judging of music to people with taste…you fucking ballsacks.

  21. doogleberg

    fuck U2. they suck balls and pretend to be concerned about the planet.
    bullshit

  22. doors43

    Right on # 21. Seriously, U2 is probably the best band on the planet and this site just lost a ton of credibility (not that gossip sites have much, but still, this is one of my favorite ones, so I’m ashamed of you right now, Superficial). Anyway, U2 is amazing and anyone who thinks otherwise clearly doesn’t understand music or the way it’s supposed to sound. That, or they’re all under 25 and listen to Beyonce. Either way, knocking a legend like U2 is just stupid and pointless. Their new CD, like their other ones, completely rocks.

  23. johnny

    GeT On YouR BoOts ! ……………..What a dumb fucking song!

  24. The Blue Angel with the Gold Ring

    Just look at them. Look at how they are all dressed. These guys having been using the same stchick forever.

    I want to be a rock star, too, and fly on private jets and mess up the environment big time, and kill polar bears. And, I bet they don’t live in a dump………

  25. The Blue Angel with the Gold Ring

    In 20 years NO ONE is going to give a shit about U2, The Rolling Stones, or The Beatles. Just like no one gives a shit about the music from 20 years ago. Every generation finds its own!

    U2′s music is already on the oldies stations, just like them. OK, well, off you go little U2, to make bigger, moon size craters, to be exact, more carbon footprints than 400,000 Africans. You guy are great. Hell yeah!

  26. Me also?

    I love U2 but the Fish was funny as Hell c’mon lighten up ‘tards!!!!

  27. my comment

    I wish these morons would refrain from coming to my city.

  28. moog

    You fucking ignorant idiots. What have YOU ever done to make the world a better place? Nothing? Then shut the fuck up!

    How many albums have you released? None? SHUT THE FUCK UP!

    And to this dickwad (26):

    “In 20 years NO ONE is going to give a shit about U2, The Rolling Stones, or The Beatles. Just like no one gives a shit about the music from 20 years ago. Every generation finds its own!”

    I’ll try to go easy on you, because you are obviously mentally challenged. Music is timeless. U2 is one of the biggest and greatest bands this world has ever seen. You should be so lucky to live in a time when they are still making new, GOOD music. Let’s see, 20 years ago music was The Rolling Stones, Guns n’ Roses, Metallica, Aerosmith, R.E.M., Madonna, The Cure, Billy Joel, Tom Petty, The Beastie Boys… I stand corrected. Nobody remembers them. BUY A FUCKING CLUE!

  29. Yeah

    Edge looks lost. Also, U2 blows.

  30. timmy the dying boy

    The Top Ten they did was pretty funny, especially when Mr. Edge left the script.

  31. mike

    U2 is awesome, but this new cd is pretty slow. No Rockin out. Except for Sexy Boots. I felt sad when I saw Bono (I think for the first time) gesture for the audience to stand up. So sad. Look what you’ve done now Eno and Lanois.

  32. GG1000

    Oh God, is there anything worse than pompous millionaire celebrities doing 20 minutes of something “normal” for a photo op? STOP it already. What’s next, guys? My kitchen floor could use a mopping…

  33. Mikeock

    My mom had glasses like Bono’s. She used to wear them on a chain around her neck on the way down to bingo.

    U2 should have quit after Joshua Tree. Honestly, if you took a drawer full of silverware and threw it down the staircase, it would be more melodic than that new U2 CD.

    I didn’t think it was possible for anybody to sully the good name of the Irish, but they somehow manage to do so.

  34. Muggins

    I’m with the U2 lovers on this one. And I expected to have to apologize for the new record, but I was pleasantly surprised–it’s good. Especially the second half. People, artistry is going to inspire hatred as well as fandom, it’s just that way. Particularly amongst those who don’t try to create anything in the world. Funny, it’s the same way with philanthropy–people who never donate anything resent the earnest attempts of those who actually care about other people. I think we should treasure the bands that still have the time, money, and artistic ambition to work as hard on their albums as U2 do…while we still have them. The digital revolution, I think, will ultimately be a net loss in the quality department for rock.

    As for the people who question Bono and the boys’ philanthropy, it’s more of a nuanced question. Bono has indeed been pushing the G8 to do something (i.e. send money) to Africa to deal with the AIDS epidemic, but there are people who question the effectiveness of sending money to areas rife with corruption. And certainly, the band’s business side made a questionable (read: selfish) choice in avoiding paying taxes in their own country of origin. It’s not right when multi-national corporations do it, and it’s not right when a band does it, either.

    But there’s no denying Bono is willing to donate his time to the causes he believes in, and time is, as the cliche goes, money. It’s a tough resource to come by from a rock star. They’re busy mofos.

  35. deborah

    I know for a fact that Bono smells like donuts, Guinness and sex – and Mamma wants a taste of that!! Yea baby!! D.

  36. deborah

    I know for a fact that Bono smells like donuts, Guinness and sex – and Mamma wants a taste of that!! Yea baby!! D.

  37. deborah

    I know for a fact that Bono smells like donuts, Guinness and sex – and Mamma wants a taste of that!! Yea baby!! D.

  38. ………………………………………….BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, folks!!

  39. DHS

    What’s “word hunger”?

  40. Melissa

    Sorry, but U2 is about washed up, time to sit your asses down in a rocking chair somewhere. Why is it these rockers think they are beyond retirement?

  41. bluemorlock

    look mommy i’m shoveling!

  42. bluemorlock

    look mommy i’m shoveling! ouchy i’m getting blisters this is like real work

  43. bluemorlock

    look mommy i’m shoveling! ouchy i’m getting blisters this is real work. “the edge” is holding the shovel like he has no idea how it works.

  44. farty mcshitface

    just for some of you fuckers who may have been a bit upset over my justified criticism of mr. hewson and company. despite lacking paul’s many millions of dollars, i actually do donate money (and don’t dodge taxes either) to charity instead of simply going from place a to place b (on whos dime i wonder?) and telling OTHERS what to do with THEIR money (people, businesses, govt’s) while getting all sorts of love and adoration for simply being there.
    yeh bono loves to lead, but not by example.
    bono can still eat my shit and if i upset some of you out there- good!!
    you can eat my shit too!
    my critics have been served.

  45. Bono's babe

    U2 are freaking awesome. Happy St Pat’s day from an Irish Aussies. I attend their concerts and buy their albums because their freaking excellent. I don’t give a stuff what they do in their spare time. I appreciate music for what it is.None of this re-mixed 80′s one hit wonders that new artists are making generating banking on a success of the past

  46. Indy!

    Bono was The Fly 20 years ago.

    Think about it U2 fans.

  47. Maybe they will have the song ‘Where the streets have no name’ im feeling the need for playing that on rockband. But glad U2 has finally jumped on the bandwagon. Mean every other band now and days has joined the Rockband/Guitar Hero bandwagon and made a decent change in the music industry. So good for them. Now if only i can manage to play on expert….

  48. I will not deny them (I like the music at least most of it), but selfless a beautiful, self-righteous hypocrite goddamned Damned. When too busy adoring press bono Obama like he is not white, I see them as to whether or not the small setback examine a little love anyone donates many of his many in Africa or anywhere in the dollar Millions for that matter. One reason they do not talk about that issue. They just talk about where he is today and what he wants to others.
    Bono can eat my shit!

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