Tyra Banks, Ryan Seacrest eligible for Emmys

April 23rd, 2008 // 41 Comments

Good morning! There’s nothing like waking up to a slap in the face by the fact that our country is barreling towards rampant retardation at friggin’ lightspeed. The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (I’ll assume formed by Mr. Wizard) has announced that reality TV hosts such as Tyra Banks (above) and Ryan Seacrest are now eligible for an Emmy. Whoopee! The AP reports:

The award recognizes that reality TV has become “an integral part of television and our culture,” John Shaffner, chairman and CEO of the TV academy, said in a statement Tuesday announcing the new honor.
Besides Seacrest of “American Idol,” Mandel of “Deal or No Deal” and Banks of “America’s Next Top Model,” other potential nominees identified by the academy include Ty Pennington of “Extreme Makeover Home Edition,” Jeff Foxworthy of “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” and Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris of “Dancing With the Stars.”

If Jeff Foxworthy wins for Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?, then it’s official; the terrorists have won. And I’m talking big time. Sort of like if the Harlem Globetrotters challenged Gary Coleman to a Slam Dunk Contest – but beforehand they tied his shoe laces together.

Photo: Getty Images
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  1. Ted from LA

    *fart* OMG please tell me I’m first!

  2. Kristin

    You all are losers.
    1-3

  3. Ted from LA

    Hey Jaoson, don’t you have a life? Why are you first? That is MY well earned throne, son. Can’t you find something better to do with your time? This is all about M E

  4. It's me Fuckers

    “Good morning! There’s nothing like waking up to a slap in the face by the fact that our country is barreling towards rampant retardation at friggin’ lightspeed.”

    ROFL!! I needed a good laugh to start the morning. =)

  5. kils

    #1 & #2 are the best comments i saw ever! LMAO~

  6. RicoSuave

    Looks like a tranny at a gloryhole in that picture

  7. Clem

    We’re now rewarding mediocrity. We need to stop watching this crap as when the ratings start to plummet this website will be even better as no-talent D-listers pin their hopes on evermore ridiculous stunts to gain publicity.

  8. English Bob

    Who is Tyra Banks to say whats hot and whats not? I know she was once a supermodel, but so what, so was Janice Dickinson and she’s a retarded fuckwit aswell !! We get the same crappy reality shows over here that you guys get only English versions of them e.g. ‘Are you smarter than a 10 year old?’ ‘Dancing on Ice’ and my personal favourite ‘Guess the d-list celebrity butthole’…………I might of made that last one up, but you get the jist……

  9. Spazz

    I hate the fucking term ‘reality tv’ because these asshats are the farthest thing from REAL i have ever seen. Take Survivor – its a bunch of wannabee actor fags ‘stranded’ on an island fashionably wearing bandannas and pretending like they dont see the camera 5 feet from their face.

    Fuck Tyra, and Ryan Seacrest – and fuck all you dipshits that keep this crap on the air.

  10. stephanie

    This reminds me of the movie Idiocracy.

  11. Will

    Tyra Banks is a fat pig and Ryan Seacrest may or may not be an ankle grabber and I would love to take a 2×4 to both or their faces so that they can never be on tv again. Actually Spazz summed it up pretty well there at #11.

  12. What’s reality t.v. again? I thought that was MTV. Back when they played music.

  13. Auntie Kryst

    And the Emmy winner for best reality performance promoting the seven deadly sins to a MTV audience mainly comprised of tweens and teens goes to…

    *fumbles with envelope* Heheh, why do they always make these envelopes so hard to open?

    Aha, Tila Tequilla!!

    Tila could not be here tonight, so accepting on her behalf is her manager, Satan..

  14. mrs.t

    That’s a priceless look of guilt on Tyra’s mug. Is that a fucking Twinkie? In her gargantuan hand, it’s difficult to judge the size…it could be a twleve-inch Subway sammich for all we know.

  15. migital

    since when are deal or no deal and are you smarter than a 5th grader NOT game shows? they have prizes, they have contestants, how is that any fucking different than the price is right?

  16. #6 – How would you know what a tranny at a glory hole looks…

    Nevermind…

  17. English Bob

    STOP spamming this site (I’m looking at you Lisa and Jaosn) with blatant ads/links for shitty dating sites. This site (as i read it anyway) is for people who are bored/depressed at work in their shitty office jobs and want a laugh to get them through the day. In other words if it aint funny or relevant F#ck Off! It’s nice to see no-ones mentioned Kim Kardaskank in this posting yet! – D’Oh !

  18. justone

    She looks beautiful. She is my favorite. I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m” last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.

  19. Irish Ted from LA

    Hey English Bob. You don’t like us spammers? Why don’t you take a tea enema and cram your stale crumpet up your arse (mmmm).

  20. ho nelly

    Only asshole losers have myspace pages.

  21. ho nelly

    Irish Ted @ 19…
    just know that deep in our hearts, we are all harboring a desire to murder you in cold blood. Then rape your empty skull.

    Nothing personal. You’re just a lowlife spammer.

  22. PunkA

    Well, if they give out an Emmy for fattest ass on TV, Tyra wins. And if they pass out one for smallest penis in TV history, Seacrest wins. Those must be new categories this year. Might actually make the Emmy’s worth watching for a change.

  23. Empty-Headed Irish Ted from LA

    I must say that after reviewing all of my predecessor’s posts I can only agree with you. I am actually a new author now bearing a fresh dynamic aspect to the heralded tradition on The Superficial of…Ted from LA!
    I hope to keep up with the Reader’s profane desires for repulsive/somewhat questionably idiotic and entirely unecessarily drivelly commentaries. I do not come here to actually add anything germane or offer philosophical reflection or actually adult diatribe. Rather, I offer myself being a completely invalid sort of inverse homotype if you will to the unoriginal original Ted from LA.
    I will morph my or rather what was his persona to suit the unwanted needs of what is now MY fan base.
    And I now hold open the cesspool lid of departure for my antecedent…Ted from LA I offer you departure from this site OR change your name. YOUR’s is no longer YOU.

    Begone sir. (Flushes proverbial toilet and walks out of Port – O – John twitching it’s zit-caked ass)

  24. Billy Reno

    It’s Emmies, not Emmy’s! Lern to spel gooder.

  25. fygu

    Tyra absolutely fucking sucks in every way.I’ve tried to watch her condescending bonehead talk show and couldn’t make it through 15 minutes. She’s unbelievably stupid and full of herself. I’m convinced that her appeal is because people are either relating to her getting fat or rejoicing.

  26. Anal Fistula

    this news is actually borderline shameful for america…we’d all better start learning chinese and hindi. we’re doomed…

  27. The Poster Formally Known as Ted from LA

    #23.
    How’s this?

  28. caljenna66

    What’s everyone getting so upset over? It’s an EMMY, not a Nobel Peace Prize, do you really care if Tyra or Ryan gets one?

  29. The Poster Formally Known as Ted from LA

    Somewhere a real talk show host like Jerry Springer must be spinning in his grave (unless he’s not dead yet of course).

  30. Ted from LA

    You are certainly taking this is stride. I would have assumed that having one’s identity and life stolen (along eventually with your woman – please e-mail me pics when you get a chance, you will be purchasing her airline tickets soon and thanks by the way) would have proven a tad stratling to you or what was you.
    I am glad that I will not have to waste too much of my ingenious retardative writing nonskills on talking you out of yourself.

    Ahhhhhhhhhh me (you) time

  31. hey hey

    Tyra should be nominated…and win! Except instead of giving her an Emmy they should cover her in meat sauce and present her with an all expenses paid trip to a bears cave.

  32. The Poster Formally Known as Ted from LA

    I think you’re a better Ted from LA. Let me know if you decide to give it up and become Randal, Autie Christ or Binky. I don’t recommend Binky. You’d have to keep really tough hours. I don’t want the fake person I’ve created to just up and die. It’s just so sad when fictional characters die prematurely (like Bambi’s mom and your ejaculations). Good luck Ted.

  33. Dorito Man

    No thank, nothing Tyra for me. She looks like a tranny.

  34. Todaysword......I suck

    #14 u made me spew my coffee all over my computer keyboard LOL. as to the Emmy…..Steven Colbert has an emmy. Have you seen his show? Enough said.

  35. Ted from LA and his Circus Aquarium

    Hey thanks Poster formerly known as Ted from LA.. By the way, I keep all of my ejaculations alive as long as I can out of a form of morbid self-love. There is a colony in my bathtub, basement sink, innumerable bowls scattered throughout my *ahem* extravagant domain (rectangular/metallic/mobile dwelling). I am considering purchasing another kiddy pool to keep my elder colonies in. These Mommaless Baby Me’s are growing like litte algal weeds! (Well the film on the surface at least)
    Yeah I like being you so far and Binky/KneeYaHaHa aint schizophrenic enough for a good template. I hope you don’t mind me referring to you as a template and by that I mean:

    As you may have connected some of my posts through the long ages of my residence, some might say infection on this site, I tend to attempt to invade the psyche of a “Host” – your former self for instance, reducing their ability to focus on their actual intention on the site distracted by their pathological need to defend a diminishing sense of integrity from the perpetual onslaught of unwarranted slanders and assorted vulgarities and various other devices directed specifically to confuse -essentially sicken and thereby weaken resistance- to my inanities.

    Please take no personal offense to this kind former self and I mean that now that you must realize that you are at this time starting to suffer from the disease. You may eventually die off from this site.

    After I kill off everyone here there will only be the shadows of what then none of you will have been leaving only I as all of what were you communicating to and fro in a merry chatter and prattle. I will inevitably write all the stories myself about myself and all of the commentaries.

    Oh what a glorious Universe that could be! (Damn I just spilled a thimble of germinal plasm brb)

  36. I saw this rampant identity theft happen to RichPort a while back. It was brutal.

  37. Grunion

    I so want to rip that wig off her head.

  38. woodhorse

    @14 Hi Mrs. T – was going to make a reply but the post above (#35) drove all coherent thoughts from my head.

  39. The Poster Formally Known as Ted from LA

    #35,
    Good luck with that. Everybody needs goals in life.

  40. Ted from LA

    Thank you I mean me.

  41. frankin

    Looks like a tranny at a gloryhole in that picture!!!!!!! Once I sae her sexy photos and profile on a dating site called M E E T I N G W E A L T H Y dot com. It is said she is dating friends there.

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