Tyra Banks is out of her mind

October 20th, 2006 // 128 Comments

Any sexual attraction I ever had for this woman has very swiftly and surely been crushed. I was half expecting her to start eating the furniture, or go on a quest for tin foil to make a special hat that keeps out mind-reading space rays. I’m surprised at the end she didn’t stare into the camera and warn us of the impending invasion of her pod people.

Thanks to Katie for the tip, and for doing that really neat thing she does with her tongue. Mmm, twisty.

superficial

  1. barryjc

    hahahahaha

  2. barryjc

    first!

  3. I still think Tyra Banks is hot as shit!! I would knock the banks out of her, and the Knowles out of Beyonce…………..

  4. Bioplant

    I’ve seen this before. She is afflicted with Mad Cow Disease.

  5. mbarkr

    Holy crap… that fool is crazy. Literally. Crazy.

  6. RadKate

    Crazier than a couch-jumping Tom Cruise.

  7. Binky

    Well she seems to have taken Ellen’s dancing routine to a different level. (Not that I’ve ever seen the show.)
    Strange – Not all women get that excited when the vaseline comes out… Well so I’ve heard.

  8. After the show, all the hot ladies are coming to the stable to see Stallion. She handed out K-Y jelly…………..

  9. outoftown

    ahahahahahaha

    funniest thing on this website ever. i’ll be laughing for days.

  10. PapaHotNuts

    In prison the other day, my cell-mate Tyrell and I watched this epidose of Tyra. The next day, he presented me with a box, of which contained a half-used bottle of vaseline with mysterious brown marks all over it. Needless to say, I didn’t share the enthusiam of Tyra’s audience. He mumbled something about “riding his chocolate cowboy”, so I kicked the nigger in his balls and changed the staion to Oprah. Oprah never gives people Vaseline, only cars and books. I figured no one hae ever been raped with a car or book, so I felt more comfortable from that point on.

  11. Elusive Spork

    All she is missing for a remake of Chappelle’s Tyrone the Crackhead is the white powder all around her mouth and nose.

    And it looks like the audience is scared to quit jumping up and down about their vaseline out of fear that Tyra might go crazy and attack them.

    *sigh* I have ALWAYS wanted Vaseline covered in jewels *sob* My hopes and dreams have now been shattered… THANKS TYRA!

  12. Tra

    I think she looks very pathetic. Is she trying to be like Oprah or something. And a jar of vaseline, not feeling the excitement. Maybe a little more excited if it was the K-Y like Stallion said.

  13. Solaera

    WHAT THE FUCK ???

    That was embarrassing to watch.

  14. Leonard Smalls

    So this is what someone looks like when they’re high on cocaine on national television. She is a train wreck waiting to happen. I give her a year before we find her corpse in an alley behind a CVS.

  15. Tracie

    Well-known fact in the Hollywood community (of which Tyra is not a part of), any extended use of Vaseline as a facial moisturizer will eventually lead to the overgrowth of facial fuzz. It happened to Marilyn Monroe.
    This clip is the saddest, sickest thing I have ever seen. What asswipes are actually watching this show? And why does that dimwit think anyone wants to see her blotchy, tired face without makeup? Gross!

  16. djeh_b

    She’s totally imitating Oprah–it’s a joke, a spoof, guys. Although I wonder how Miss O thought of it?

  17. commissioner

    Those poor schmucks are standing there thinking, “I came to the Tyra Banks show and all I got was this crappy jar of Vaseline?”

    I use olive oil. Extra virgin.

  18. krisdylee

    She is one wack-a-doodle crazy bitch. I’d like to party with her….

  19. j

    She has a show?

  20. Tyra is pretty scary, she can be ridiculously odd sometimes.

    http://www.scandalsnappers.com

  21. slantingthroughdarkness

    That might be the first time the words “Tyra Banks” and “mind” have appeared in the same sentence.

    http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

  22. BarbadoSlim

    I’m rapidly developing a healthy pathological hatred for this ghetto skank, she represents everything I hate about african-american women in concentrated form.

  23. FirstTimeLongTime

    I just watched that with the sound off (as the sound of Tyra’s voice gives me seziures). Bitch is NUTS even on mute! What high-level TV exec is she blowing that’s keeping this crap on the air?
    Side note: I live in NYC, and when this show first came on there were these subway ads with just a close up of her face. Let’s just say it was easier to stare at the crackhead playing with himself than to look at her dead, crazy-ass bug-eyes staring into my soul.

  24. RichPort

    I would like to see the same clip, with her naked. Then when she jumps up and down, she’d knock herself the fuck out with those huge milk chocolate candy bags. That’s when I make my move…

    I’m nothing if not an opportunist.

    Why did all those sad fat heffers act like the just won golden dildos? Idiots…

  25. BarbadoSlim

    Hey did anyone get a look at the faggot with the blue polo shirt when she goes up the aisle? , Mutherfucka is lovin’ that vaseline, I thought he was gonna start spreading it between his asscheeks right then and there.

  26. bigponie

    when I walk down the beach naked, I often cover my cock with bright glistening little object and I get that same wild reaction from the girls.

  27. Do Freebird

    I’m assuming that Miss Banks is getting her health and beauty tips from Whitney Houston.

  28. Whatever. She’s hilarious!

  29. commissioner

    “huge milk chocolate candy bags”.

    I almost choked on a Hot Tamale.

  30. Elikapeka

    Maybe I’m totally missing something here, but to get so excited about a jar of vaseline that you’re writhing around on the floor screaming or make air-love to your neighbor seems a little…. unecessary. A Jar ‘O’ Hot Male SuperModel Splooge maybe, but Vaseline?

  31. BarbadoSlim

    For the life of me I can’t understand how this people are getting excited by this Vaseline, I mean, it’s too sticky, and it is not as effective a lubricant as KY (which you can buy cheaper if you get it by 50 gallon drum BTW).
    Maybe I’m not using it right.

    I’m baffled

  32. RichPort

    ponie, hopefully not THOSE girls… they actually never even got tickets to the Tyra Skanks Show.. They thought they were there to see Jenny Craig live and in person, and that the miracle cream would help them shed chunks of weight off immediately. Of course the best known weight loss technique for some of those cellutoids involves a hacksaw, some liquor, a stop watch, and a strap of leather to bite down on.

  33. Good grief, this woman has clearly gone off her meds. I am pretty sure I can get her committed as a danger to others.

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

  34. Jedi Kevin

    You get anal sex, YOU get anal sex, and *YOU* get anal sex!!

  35. yuckyfresh

    dude, that was awesome. and i never thought i would say this, but i think tyra banks is morphing into howard dean. she’s even getting those creepy puffy eyes. whatever you do, stay away from vaseline.

  36. NotANiceGirl

    So much to say…
    She looks like she’s been on a meth binge or trying her zombie costume on. She will be giving us some good fish headlines soon… “Tyra Banks goes to rehab/being treated for exhaustion” “Tyra blames manic episode on sleep deprivation” I don’t think she’s crazy…maybe she’s dating Bobby Brown or something.

  37. jezebel

    It’s like she’s on PCP.

  38. The Gilbs

    @17 extra virgin olive oil? Really?

  39. combustion8

    her arms are ginormous, naomi is STILL hotter.

  40. jase

    omg, that is so awesome.

  41. NotANiceGirl

    It’s painful. I’d rather take it up the ass w/out the vaseline than watch her totally self destruct…. not that I give a fuck about her but it’s uncomfortable to watch!!!

  42. theblemish.com

    Jesus H. Christ. Is this what murderers feel before they kill?

    http://theblemish.com

  43. Uhn Tiss Baby

    Women.

  44. commissioner

    @39

    Yep. Seymore Butts recommends it on his website. If it’s good enough for porn . . .

  45. commissioner

    I’m Italian, so nobody questions why I have vats of olive oil all over the house.

    My boyfriend says it’s the best lube he’s ever used. (btw, I am a chick.)

  46. stynxno

    tyra, what happened? where is the girl that busted out and showed all the skinny white girls how bra and underwear modeling is suppose to be?

    ahhh. how the mighty have fallen.

  47. The Gilbs

    @45 I know it’s good for anal, I thought you were giving me a facial tip. I’ll be doing much better when I can have a drink.

  48. The Gilbs

    I’m embarrassed. When I was younger I saw a guy at a party wearing a t-shirt that had 4:20 on the front. I asked him what Bible verse his shirt was referring to. Needless to say I was humiliated. I don’t know what I have to do to flush my conservative upbringing.

  49. commissioner

    @48

    Use glycerin on your face. Though Italian women have been using olive oil on their face for years.

    Oh, Jesus, help me. I’m sounding like Sarah Jean. I won’t dispense any more beauty tips.

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