Tyra Banks craps herself

February 13th, 2008 // 147 Comments

Okay, I don’t know whether this shit (Hi-yo!) is true, but the buzz is model/diva Tyra Banks crapped her pants during Fashion Week in New York. Here’s the horribly written first-hand account from magazine blogger Fabian Basabe. Then again, if I witnessed a Tyra bowel movement, I’d probably have trouble effectively communicating and maintaining consciousness:

I was asked to film an interview for a new project but being busy reporting the massacre it is during fashion week for paper magazine – by far my favorite assignment – I had to squeeze the interview in between shows and, in order to have it easy for everyone, i arranged to do it backstage at the tents in the w suite. Just when I start getting comfortable and ready, a group of madmen and madwomen storm in and take possession of the suite because… ready?… Tyra Banks messed herself and needed to change. Now, let’s break this down: messing oneself should not happen if you are older that 5 or younger than 90. if it happens and in fact you are older than 5 or younger that 90, then it should be one, single, very unfortunate episode which will bound you to be made fun of forever and you can’t complain about it. Now I would like to bring to your attention that Tyra’s people carried a change of clothes for her at NYC fashion week. Hmmmh… could it be that Tyra messed herself before? or just that her entourage is so organized that in case tyra would ever, maybe, possibly mess herself that one time, they have a change of clothes? I don’t know… but all these thoughts were twirling in my mind when in horror I was watching such an abomination, feeling so alone in the world. Meanwhile, everyone is looking at me, to see if i was going to throw a fit because i now have a production crew and no place to shoot. Excuse me please, the suite is great but i think I’m gonna go, you know…

Could Tyra Banks be a serial pants-pooper? I’ve always sort of suspected but never really had the journalistic integrity to voice such a theory. What’s most surprising is that Janice Dickinson isn’t running naked through the streets proclaiming to the world that Tyra shit herself. I figured she’d be all over this and even take out a billboard in Times Square. I’m sure it would read something classy like, “Hey, Tyra, I’m 90 and I don’t need Depends. Love, Janice. P.S. Lose weight.” Ah, the bonds of sisterhood.

Photos: Getty Images
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  1. Maybe agreeing to anal right before the show wasn’t such a great idea after all.

  2. Hill

    Holy shit I don’t care if it is from too many laxatives or an accident, that is HILARIOUS! Guess that’s what you get for being a bitch.

  3. Anexio

    Am I the only one, yet again, that sees this story for what it is?

    Jesus H. Christ

    Clearly the woman is into anal fisting. Tyra Banks’ butthole in it’s closed state is big enough to allow two baseball bats and and a Brazillian Anaconda to rattle around in there.

    Everybody knows this.

    P.S. I like you D. Richards. …and Number 37 you can go stick your head up Tyra’s ass, theres plenty of room in there so bring your sister.

  4. gotmilk?

    it probably is Alli. who is THAT desperate to lose weight that they risk having involuntary anal leakage? jesus people, just eat less and hit the treadmill.

  5. The Office Whore

    I second 53-

  6. kimmy

    it’s from abusing laxatives and diet pills. happened to me too when i used to do that.

  7. feg

    “soil” doesn’t mean shit, foo. maybe she started her period unexpectedly.
    maybe she laughed or sneezed & a litte piss came out. it happens.

    although I am leaning towards believing its that Allie stuff that makes the oily ass juice. there’s no miracle pill to lose weight, it all leads to death & destruction. eat better and exercise.

  8. deaconjones

    @49

    Obviously you’re not the real one if you wouldnt fuck her. Go back to your other name and grab another pint of Ben and Jerry’s

  9. Jesse

    She has a seizure disorder, assholes. When people have seizures they often lose control of their bladders and bowels. In Tyra’s case, her seizures can be triggered by certain types of music, and I think somebody was fucking with her when they put on Muddy Waters.

  10. misery bunny

    i would’ve dropped a comment earlier, but this story itself worked as a laxative. i’m about a half lb. lighter now, but i did make it to the jane. thanks fish and tyra.

  11. gits

    How can an IBS pants-crapper get so fat? She must eat 20 cheeseburgers a day. And the low-quality type, with the gristle that shoots through intact. Her ass-istants must love that.

  12. Take off the hairdo monkey

    Zikes what a nasty fucking ape. How oh how could that happen unless her anus is stretched ??? Sodomite.
    And as for D. Richards. If anyone would be familiar with this kind of disorder it would be him. Ole Hand Hole himself. Fist fuckin’ Frank. Palm punched in the pooper. Crap canal cadette. Shit-shoved. Turd Nerd.
    Yes the ole boy probably writes all these comic gems while sitting on a bucket, cuz well hey, the ole plumbing just don’t hold the gravy under the potatoes like way way back in his anal prime. Not there is anything inherently wrong with any of this.

  13. Zang

    At least her “she’s not fat!” defenders have something to work with now. Her ass isn’t fat, it’s just caked in feces so it looks bigger than it is.

  14. Whitney

    Colitis (sp?), maybe?

  15. mips

    Fabian is such a stool pigeon.

  16. maitre d'

    Good evening, Ms. Banks. Yes, your table is right here…would you like me to push your stool in?

  17. deaconjones

    Hopefully she’ll start a trend of restuarants building toilet seats into their chairs, i swear to god Taco Bell and the Olive Garden’s business would double.

    The shrimp fettucine alfredo?? Holy shit, my guts start imitating the liquid plumber commercials after the 3rd bite.

  18. Anonymous

    Hey Jesse,

    Muddy Waters beats the living shit out of most crap that passes for music these days. What are you, fucking fourteen years old? You probably think Beyonce is real music, you fucking dolt.

  19. Brown n Serve

    Damn she has that feces camouflage tan anyway. How could a brutha (or a cracka) know if she threw out meal on a dawg’s anal Andy? Damn. If you be’s drunk you might zip that sucka back in yo pants with a twin entwined on the shaft.

  20. meow

    Tyra needs to stop encouraging stupid fat bitches. I mean, its one thing to be fat, but when your fat AND a stupid bitch, its disgusting. I’m so tired of hearing fatasses say that they’re “curvy” No wonder they took her show off Fox. Gluttony is a sin

  21. Backdoor Entrance

    Tyra probably crapped in her pants because she does anal. “shit” happens when one does anal.

  22. BunnyButt

    So she did #2 in her size 2.

    She’s a size 2, right, like JLH?

  23. Tightie Whities

    I have anal and have never crapped myself. Proves all of you 12 year olds wrong! Ha!

  24. Ted from LA

    Let he who has not shit his pants toss the first turd.

  25. Auntie Kryst

    @74 I never shat my pants during Fashion Week. I’ve also never been to Fashion Week.

  26. I once shit my pants during fashion week. I was 2…

  27. I heard about this story last week on idontlikeyouinthatway.com, first of all, and second of all,
    I’M FRIST!!!
    I’M THE ONLY FRIST!!! AND NONE OF YOU WILL EVER BE FRIST!!!

    heh heh

  28. misery bunny

    # 62 still mad about not making grand dragon? life is just so unfair.

  29. Captain PP

    “Kiss my fat black ass!” Uh, ok – just as soon as you change your poop stained britches…

  30. hausfrau

    She either has a dick or the biggest labia in human history. GROSS.
    Why do fat chicks insist on showing off their bodies?? Just put on a nice mumu and call it good, for God’s sake. If you want to jiggle around in front of a mirror in the privacy of your own home, good for you. Don’t subject everyone else to your disgustingness.

  31. shanipie

    She over reacted soooo mcuh when people called her fat for the first time.
    You all remember her TV breakdown.
    HAHAHAHAHAHA can you imagine her reaction to everyone saying she messed herself during fashion week?
    OMG, classic.

    but I mean, its not her fault. She’s fucking old…thats why they make depends yall.

  32. Costco:It's What's For Dinner

    The poor slobs that work for her probably thought it was safe to go see what Tyra wanted because her cell phone wasn’t in reach. After they found out that their shitty job just got shittier, it was pay back time and they called the various media ….

  33. Dick Richards

    Numbers 53, 55, and 62. Thanks. You’re very kind — I love you all. Muwwaaugh!

    I heard anonymous likes his boys black and has a profile on:

    ‘TinyWhiteMales4HungBlackStuds.com’.

  34. jennifer

    She could be taking that Alli diet pill. I heard it makes you…have accidents.
    No shit…I read it somewhere.

  35. Joe C

    @39 “I don’t have anybody to scrub the shit stains off my panties”

    Wouldn’t you just throw them away?

  36. Abi

    Duh! That’s what happens to fat pigs. They crap themselves. You can’t expect them to know how to use a toilet.

  37. Zinc

    Finally we know how/why she came up with her “fierce” look. But honestly, if you have to grind out a grumpy, just walk a few feet to the nearest bathroom. Talk about a lazy nigga.

  38. sicasso

    Mayor Bloomberg is thinking of making Tyra’s ass one of the official boroughs of New York City. While Brooklyn is already taken, it seems an equal amount of shit steams out of Tyra’s bunghole and into Manhattan everyday, too. I love New York? Not when Tyra’s in town. Find a couple of empty parking spaces and sit your ass down, Assclown.

  39. moobs

    i love it when people take “medicines” as candy.

    its just a health problem waiting to happen.

    /only takes meds when completely necessary, and nothing that has to be taken for “days” only “as needed”

  40. Spiraticus

    Why is Tyra Banks’ turd news? What there something special about it?

  41. I would still motor boat that bedonkadonk

  42. Becca

    I’ve shit myself twice last month. Thats what i get for forcing a fart. I’ve now learned my lesson.

  43. Katie

    Maybe she is on that alli stuff. I hear it makes you crap your pants. It even warns you to bring extra clothing with you. And people did say she was fat, maybe she took it more personal than said.

  44. Ted from LA

    #92,
    Do you have a Tickle-Me-Elmo?

  45. El Ces

    What’s this have to do with those huge funbags of her’s?
    Get me some pics.

  46. #78 sweety sweety

    As a matter of fact I am not upset as I never ran for Grand Dragon. Our leader is a competent, racist redneck of long-standing in our (white only) community. It has been a pleasure to despise all of you sub-humans under his wise and noble tutelage for all these honorable years. Just like my father and his father and my son one day shall.
    Sorry shitskin, you are not welcome. We are whites only here. Don’t take it personally it aint you it’s just your skin color and your big fat black ass.
    (chugs the remaining half of his 32 ounce tall boy and throws it out the window towards the sidewalk where it hits a young mexican couple’s stroller, soaking their 4th baby in the cold)

  47. Could be true. Tyra could be using the ol’ laxative diet to lose weight. Old habits never die…Laxatives can be verrrrry unpredictable.

  48. ATL in NYC

    1 word: Alli

  49. mon

    laxatives

  50. fuck you

    Fuck all of you, you ass wipe losers, I don’t believe this shit (no pun intended) from a nobody reporter who no one’s evem heard of!
    Trya is a better person than any of you drooling stinking cunts!

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