Here’s The Video For Tyga’s Statutory Rape Anthem

“Good, good. Love the mouth like that. Do that the whole time if you can. Now, go ahead and freshen up, we’ll be ready soon. *looks around* TYGA?! You’ve got five minutes to get hard, or I’m pulling Kanye off the bench. He called stunt cock on this years ago, mister.” – Kris Jenner, naked in a director’s chair

Here’s the music video Tyga shot in between takes of Kylie Jenner’s sex tape because Kris Jenner understands production budgets. Squeezing two location shoots into one day at a pricey Malibu mansion is just smart business, especially when you consider she’s not even going to have to pay the billionaire homeowner any cash at all. Just a simple promise that one day when a hooker dies in the house, she’ll hand over the only copy of the mansion’s security footage that shows a black man rolling a blunt on the coffee table, and two problems get solved in one day. Three, if you count the Malibu Police, who get to take one more black man off the streets who’s clearly been mobilized by hashtag activism to kill them, according to Survivor contestants that are somehow still on TV.

“You’re under arrest for the murder of a Malibu prostitute two years ago.”
“Wait! I’ve got the receipt Ms. Jenner gave me for this morning’s Kylie session right he-“
“He’s going for a gun!” *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop*