‘Two and a Half Men’ Back in 4 Weeks

February 2nd, 2011 // 51 Comments

Also, meet Shyla Jennings, the final piece in Charlie Sheen‘s whore puzzle. Whee!

Despite all the very serious talk about getting Charlie Sheen the help he needs, Warner Bros. has apparently changed their tune on the Two and a Half Men hiatus because filming will resume in as little as three-to-four weeks and make up the missed episodes so the crew gets paid. TMZ reports:

Sources connected with the show tell us … although nothing is in stone … they’re told by the addiction specialist that Charlie could be back to work next month. If that happens, producers would most likely make up the two missed shows at the end of the production season.
Bottom line — no one will lose money and the show could be back on track.

While it’s nice to see the little people aren’t getting the shaft in this Pretend to Cure Charlie Circus, I love how we’re supposed to believe a credible addiction specialist looked at Charlie Sheen and went, “Oh, what, this guy? Four weeks. Tops,” instead of the more believable response of loading two shotguns and sending in a priest to negotiate.

PRIEST: Chahlee? It’s Father O’Malley. We just want to talk to ya, son.
CHARLIE: There is no Charlie. Only blow.
PORN STAR: *from basement* Help! There’s eight of us tied to the same radiator! Please, the sex is only two minutes long!
CHARLIE: Bentleys! Bentleys! $30,000! Bentleys!
PORN STAR: Never mind! — Can mine be pink?
CHARLIE: Bentleys!
PRIEST: I didn’t sign on for naked women. Best o’ luck, son. I’ll be praying for ya.
CHARLIE: BENTLEEEYYSSSS!

Photos: Club Shyla Jennings (NSFW)

superficial

  1. “insert cock here”

  2. “PORN STAR: *from basement* Help! There’s eight of us tied to the same radiator! Please, the sex is only two minutes long!”

    Absolute gold!

  3. Shyla Jennings Charlie Sheen
    musicgod
    Commented on this photo:

    first

  4. Sheik Yerbouti

    So if we’ve learned anything from Charlie’s “Pornstar Family” bender, it is that Charlie is allergic to tits. Or maybe he just wants to maximize the flat surfaces around him for cocaine-consumption purposes.

  5. *yawn* More adolescent girls with body’s of young boys and no shape or curves what so ever. We all know that charlie’s thing. I’m not knocking it, but I prefer a hour glass figure. Nothing to see here.

    • she looks 20, has wide hips and a round ass. what fuckin young boy looks like her exactly?? proof or stfu

      • skivvy

        You, sir, clearly do not know what a round ass looks like. Go search for Bria Myles and become educated.

      • Looks like I struck a nerve with you. I can tell by your comment at the top of the page that your into girls like this. It has been discussed and documented over the last few days that charlie has a thing for girls who have a certain look. Instead of talking to a psychologist, he should be talking to chris hansen. The first pic you can tell she is flat chested. And you said a round ass? Its more small and petite. I know they are of age, but even in there pics they try to give the impression of a young adolescent girls. Dude, I’m not knocking you or charlie. Its just different strokes for different folks.

      • no i just find this cliche completely retarded and, most of the time it’s based in jealousy. again, show me one pic of a teenage boy who looks like her. just one.

        oh, you can’t produce it cos there aint one.

        and by round i meant at least not flat like say halle berry.. it’s a woman’s ass.

      • if hot girls (and she IS hot) makes you think of teenage boys, then it’s YOU with the problem

  6. HeyNow

    Again, no ta ta’s

    • Bucky Barnes

      Not true. Do a Google image search for Shyla Jennings and you find that she has a great bod. Her tits are not huge but natural and quite respectable.
      Shame on you, you should do more research before you start condemning perfectly good whores…

  7. JRS

    By “so the crew gets paid” do they mean themselves getting paid that $250M for those final episodes. I doubt they give a shit about the actual crew.

  8. My God ,How many porn stars can one man go through?At #
    Sheik Yerbouti and # i_piss_excellence…….. No tits? Google Bree Olson, one of his possie….She has amzing tits ,all natural and she does anything,DP, Creampies, BJ, Lesbo, Dildos,3somes……….I would fuck any of Charlie’s choices, no Plastic airbags,curves=u mean BBW, and their petite who are smart enough not to go Joker face in terms of plastic surgery like so many used by date porn stars….

    • That Bastard Tony

      Funny how he messes with the more obscure porn stars. I have to wonder why he didn’t go more mainstream or well-known or did he try and they shot him down. I guess Sasha Grey, Stormy Daniels and Julia Ann are smart enough to stay away from that train wreck, no matter how good the loot is.

  9. GravyLeg

    WTF is up with him having six women at once. Charlie must shop for his whores at Costco or Sam’s Club.

    • Mr Obvious

      nope, he shops at Whores 4 Less in bulk. You don’t get the volume discount unless you take home at least 3 whores/trip.

  10. shmatt

    This just in: Charlie Sheen hates breasts

  11. babooda

    Charlie can return to work in as little as 3-4 weeks according to his “addiction specialist ” , Pablo Escobar III of Bogota, Columbia.

  12. jojo

    Is it just me or does Charlie scoff at all conventionality?

  13. Rough City, U.S.A.

    Now this banging brunette is presentable, as suppose to the Jessica retarded Alba that should have payed me to bang her…

  14. Ned

    I know it sounds crazy, but when I look at this picture my penis seems to get larger. Then when I do something else, it shrinks again. Then I look at this picture, and my penis gets larger again. Should I see a urologist?

  15. Elle

    I’ll be surprised if his ex wife ever lets him near their children again…seeing as how he is employing their playdates as pornstars.

  16. Mr. T

    Let’s see….he is the highest paid TV actor right now….he goes on three day benders and has orgies with young porn stars in a huge mansion…..all these news sites are saying he has hit rock bottom…..Sounds like he is living the American dream….leave him the fuck alone…if he kills himself it will take the mortician three weeks to get the smile off of his face.

  17. Nen

    I think we know the truth behind the demise of his marriages. Breasts. Too much breasts.

  18. Shyla Jennings Charlie Sheen
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hope losing all access to his kids, destruction of his professional reputation & making a fool of himself for all the world to see & pity was worth the 2.5 minutes of thrusting.

  19. Kerri

    these girls are all so ugly. kind of reminds me of tiger woods’ whores. why can’t these guy afford attractive girls? i don’t get it.. ??

  20. Ruth

    I don’t get it. I watched that show and it’s shit. Who cares? Cancel it.

  21. Bucky Barnes

    Terrific post, Mr. Fish.
    Charlie has turned into some weird hybrid of Dennis Hopper and Brando’s Colonel Kurtz, huddled in his compound with an army of Apocalypse Whores.
    Good for him!

  22. Sheen's Peen

    Gig Rivera – Check – Fapped To
    Melanie Rios – Check -Fapped To
    Kacey Jordan – Incomplete- Tried to Fap and Failed
    Shyla Jennings – TBD

  23. Larrythefatcat

    I agree with Ruth… I don’t understand why *anyone* (Forrest Gump IQ and lower included) would find this show even remotely amusing. It’s total schlock and it’s been on 7 years too long… at least.

    • it’s a giggly show with men as the main characters. if there is no hot chick walking around in a bikini, jumping around to show off their fake/stuffed bras, or some other scantly clad outfit then i usually turn it off.

  24. with all of Charlie’s girls 9this one included), i m not sure if i want to date them or adopt them.

  25. Shyla Jennings Charlie Sheen
    JosieBelle
    Commented on this photo:

    It seems like the requirements for “porn star” has been downgraded from “have a successful, long-term career in the adult industry” to “being barely overage and let Charlie Sheen blow coke up your va-jayjay.”

  26. Shyla Jennings Charlie Sheen
    Commented on this photo:

    Ladies and Gentlemen, the “Atomic Wedgie”.

  27. Mr Obvious

    She’s the cutest one of the recent crop.

  28. Shyla Jennings Charlie Sheen
    Woofus
    Commented on this photo:

    “Destruction of Personal Reputation?” this has ALWAYS been his personal reputation! God bless Charlie Sheen, at least he’s not apologising.

    On another note, she’s giving herself a wedgie

  29. Taras Bulbous

    I guess Messer Sheen has a thing for little boobs? Kind of strange considering Denise Richards has got quite a pair. Hey Charlie, there are a ton of porn stars out there with big, natural titties who will fuck you for money/blow/bentleys. Just FYI.

  30. one legged

    my opinion is
    he should switch to oxy. coke is a little nuts but oxy is very normal.. stick to 60mg a day…

  31. fuckoffgayboy

    Man I’m so tired of all these fuscking guys bitching about hot girls with little asses. Guess what ghetto boys; not every guy wants a girl with a big fat Jaylo ass or that fat and in 5 years is going to be full of cellulite Kardashian ass. Its seems ever since rap music went main stream everyone has to like a big ol ass. Well sorry Phag Boyz but some dudes still like a chick that looks like the girl next door and not some latin/african hybrid. Some guys like girls with tight little asses and nice perky tits and if you think they look like boys then maybe you got some other issues and should locked up before you hurt someone. Go fuck all the pigs you want but dont push your “I like a bitch with an apple bottom bullshit on us: besides when was a fat chic considerd hot, NEVER!!!

  32. JosieBelle

    It seems like the requirements for “porn star” has been downgraded from “have a successful, long-term career in the adult industry” to “being barely overage and let Charlie Sheen blow coke up your va-jayjay.”

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