Let’s just get this out of the way: Jessica Simpson is a goddamn beast. Unless Ken Paves knows some secret to success that involves five years of steak and ribs, she should probably hire a stylist that doesn’t openly hate her. I know jackshit about fashion, but I’m pretty sure fancy outfits aren’t supposed to get you drafted in the NFL. Or maybe that’s her way of being with Tony Romo again. *strokes beard* Of course. It all makes sense now….

Photos: Splash News, WENN