Tupac’s Sex Tape Sounds About Right
Eclipsed only by the news of more Arrested Development, a sex tape featuring Tupac Shakur is making the rounds and you’ll never believe it involves a hip-hop artist making a woman blow him in front of a room full of people while he holds a blunt. I thought I entered a parallel universe. TMZ reports:
The tape, shot in 1991, begins with a bunch of groupies in a living room during a house party. Tupac walks into the room with his pants down to his ankles, his shirt off … sporting several chains.
Tupac — whose head is shaved — pulls one of the women toward him, and she begins performing oral sex. As she does her thing, an unreleased song of Tupac’s is playing in the background, as Tupac is singing along and dancing, wiggling his hips.
And it gets even better. As the woman services Tupac, who is holding a cocktail in one hand and a blunt in another, Money B from Digital Underground walks over to him. Tupac puts his cocktail arm around Money B, continues singing and dancing … and the woman never stops.
So, basically Tupac’s sex tape is every rap video since 1991. Wow, stop the presses. Except you know what would’ve been awesome? If one of the groupies turned out to be Sarah Palin, and everyone’s all like, “Damn, Pac, you better bang that bitch with the hunting rifle ‘fore shit gets real. Says she wants it in a helicopter, yo.” From there I like to imagine one lands directly in the living room causing the bathroom door to blow open while the dad from Friday’s taking a shit.
Adding… Yes, I seriously believe John Witherspoon is always on every black person’s toilet at any given moment. Don’t be frontin’.