Tracy Morgan’s Out of The Hospital And Suing The Shit Out of Walmart

July 14th, 2014 // 16 Comments
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You might have thought Jessica Alba‘s butt was the best news you’d see all morning, and you’re right, but this is pretty damn close: Tracy Morgan is back home after a fatal car accident that left his best friend and mentor Jimmy Mack dead. He’s also suing Walmart’s dick off for over-working their drivers which allegedly caused the crash. The New York Post reports:

In addition to claiming that Roper was exhausted when he crashed his 18-wheeler, the suit alleges he had driven more than 700 miles from his home in Jonesboro, Ga., to a Walmart distribution center in Smyrna, Del., before beginning his shift.
”Walmart was careless and negligent in the ownership and operation of its motor vehicle, which caused Mr. Morgan to suffer severe personal injuries,” the suit reads.
Roper, who was driving 65 mph in a 45 mph zone at the time of the accident, was quickly approaching the company’s limit of 14 hours on the clock, and had been driving for nine hours and 37 minutes straight, investigators concluded.

When reached for comment, Walmart said, “Tracy Morgan wants us to cough up a couple mil to himself and the family of the deceased? Boom. Done. Here’s some giant checks for everybody, and now back to making hundreds of billions of dollars by being absolutely awful. You people are like ants to us.”

Photo: Getty


  1. I’m glad he’s suing their dicks off, but your summary is correct. This won’t even faze Walmart.

    • Wal-Mart grosses on the order of $20 million per hour of every single fucking 24 hour day. This is not really suing their dicks off. More like suing off a stray pubic hair.

  2. One man’s mistake is another man’s winning lottery ticket. Welcome to 2014.

    • Yep. And all it took to get that easy payday was over a month in a hospital and one dead best friend. It’s like nobody in this country wants to work anymore. Back in my day, if a trucker ran you down, you thanked him for it.

      • +1, Phil.

        I also love how Walmart’s overworking the driver to the point where he falls asleep at the wheel constitutes a “mistake”—or that this guy thinks Tracy Morgan needs a goddamn lottery ticket. And any good attorney will tell you that part of the reason for bringing these lawsuits isn’t the payoff, it’s to get the offending companies to change their tortious behavior. Right, schmidtler, our online lawyer commenter? Schmidtler…? Oh crap, I keep forgetting that I ran him off.

  3. I actually prefer Walmart over Tracy Morgan.

  4. PassingTrue

    This is a tragic situation to be sure. But people get hit on the highway by cars, vans, SUVs, and tractor trailers and, in this case, by a Walmart truck.
    The difference here is that the person(s) injured/killed include a celebrity and their attendant entourage and the company that owned the truck was Walmart and they have deep pockets and a vocal group of people who hate them.
    But, if you don’t like Walmart, don’t shop there. There are lots of folks who shop there because they want, need and/or expect the prices and services that Walmart supplies. And many people depend upon them for a paycheck. Would they prefer a better job with better pay, sure. But so would millions of folks who *don’t* work for Walmart.
    Let’s also remember, that this horrible company is where Hillary Clinton served for years as a paid member of the Board of Directors when she was first lady of Arkansas.
    At the end of the day, this will either end up in court to determine the extent of Walmart’s liability or it will be settled outside of court by Walmart or their insurance company if that seems to be the best way to resolve the suit. But, Tracey Morgan’s friend will be dead, and his friends will likely have some degrees of long-term or permanent injury. And, while this accident was awful, they are fortunate to have a villian with deep pockets, ready to pay.

    • “Lots of folks shop there” because Wal-Mart has some of the most predatory business practices in the world and attaches itself to small towns, drives all the small businesses out of business, and sucks the local economy dry like a horror novel about a plague of vampires, all while doing everything possible to deny its employees hours, benefits, or a decent living wage while sexual harassment and discrimination runs rampant.

      Wal-Mart gets cast as a villain because it acts like a fucking villain, not because everyone’s jealous of its letterman jacket.

    • Oh piddly poo. Sue the living shit out of WalMart and win as WalMart’s position is unsupportable. It is better still that Tracy Morgan is a celebrity who can call attention to WalMart’s behavior. Their driver was on the road for over 24 hours without sleep and fell asleep at the wheel- yet another predatory employment practice they impose upon their workers and in which they can take a pride. The accident that took place was wholly preventable. And yes, a hoard of angry Americans could of course, boycott Walmart – but lets be real here, there is no grass-roots American movement afoot prepared to boycott WalMart. Grass-roots Americans are too busy struggling to survive. For what it’s worth, the Grass Roots can no longer afford to shop at there. The financial stability of WalMart’s client base is not looking so hot and their profits have taken a dump. WalMart’s 4th quarter profits dropped by 20% because, ironically, its client base is on the financial skids and can’t afford to buy anything but the basics. WalMart, needs a healthy middle class that is earning money for the company to make money. I find it hilarious that WalMart, who has been intransigent about their abysmal employment and payment practices, needs the financial support of the very sort of people whom they employ to be profitable. Well played, o Great Cosmos, well played.

  5. cajunhawk

    I wonder if Tracy Morgan’s near death experience will make him actually funny. Only time will tell.

  6. shutupandsing

    Funny, this little ignorant leftists fad. Hating Wal Mart is the
    new “in” thing for the kids.

    Fish and the rest of the ignorant kids want to make it out like zombie
    Walton was driving the truck himself.

    If it wasn’t for Wal Mart millions of poor who have been devastated
    by the Obama economy, wouldn’t be able to stretch their meager wages
    to feed and clothe themselves.

    Not everyone can shop at the cool boutiques and specialty shops.
    Not everyone has parents sending them a weekly allowance. Not
    everyone has a family basement to live in.

    p.s. Fish, shut the fuck up about politics and get on with
    making women out to be sex objects.

    • The conservative right, ladies and gentlemen!

      • Funny this little ignorant Right Wing fad. Hating people with a brain is the new “in” thing for Extremist Conservatives.

        shutupandsing and the rest of the ignorant Conservatives want to make it out like the Zombie Walton has no responsibility for the six car crash that killed one and inured four others when their driver of the 18 wheeler fell asleep at the wheel because he had been driving for 24 hours straight without taking a break.

        If it wasn’t for the economic crash caused by Wall Street, Millions of people who are now poor would not have to stretch their meager wages to feed and clothe themselves and patronize WalMart.

        Now the only ones who can shop at the cool boutiques and specialty shops are the very people who misrepresented the loan pools they sold, thus causing the US economy to collapse.

        The American public does not have the financial wherewithal to buy Congress the way WalMart and the financial industries have, sending crooked politicians a hefty weekly allowance upon which they glut themselves. It is a harsh reality that former home-owners are now forced to move in with family. Instead of living in the home they purchased, former homeowners are now living in their parents basement.

        P.S. shutupandsing, shut the fuck up and spare us your political views. Go back to jerking off in the corner while making women out to be sex objects. Either that or go get a fucking job and make something of yourself.

  7. …who’s the chick??? she’s cute!

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