Tori Spelling will birth world’s smallest baby

April 8th, 2008 // 107 Comments

Tori Spelling is eight months pregnant but decided to show off how good her body still looks in a bikini. Apparently she was freaked out over her weight gain from first baby Liam, but Tori has things locked down this time around. Us Magazine reports:

“So far I’ve gained 25 pounds and am loving my body!” Spelling, 34, told photo agency Startraks during the March 20 shoot in Beverly Hills. “I’m eating whatever my body tells me it needs and wants. And now I know that it is possible to get back your body with diet and dedication.”

Only 25 pounds?! Sweet Moses. While I admire Tori Spelling’s dedication to physical fitness, I fear for her life as she’ll surely be attacked by a mob of pregnant women. The crazed herd will then turn it’s attention to Dairy Queen where it will hand over Tori in exchange for a case of Dilly Bars, three birthday cakes with Oprah’s face on it and a small Diet Coke with ten straws. Because no one likes a fatty.

EDIT: I’m hearing that only gaining 25 pounds is healthy. Shows what I know about the female reproductive system. Though one time I tried to deliver a baby but burnt the hospital down boiling the water. There were lots of lawsuits.

Photos: Startraks, Us Magazine
superficial

  1. first

    first!

  2. first

    first!

  3. smokey

    First bitches!!!

  4. Bmurphy72

    90210 or not, We’s all still hit that……as long as she didn’t try to carry on a conversation……….

  5. first

    not really smokey
    i was first bitch!
    ha!

  6. stizz

    I really doubt that it’s healthy to gain such little weight when you’re pregnant, especially when you turned into a whale the first time. She’s obviously not eating very much.

  7. Joe C

    As if she wasn’t gross enough before, she decides to show us her stretched out gut.Demi Moore didn’t look good naked and pregant so it certainly won’t look good on this sack of shit.

  8. robyn

    That’s a pretty normal weight gain… besides, she’s still has a month to go and you can put on a 1lb/week in the last month.

  9. Joe C

    Did I mention how revolting she is? Forget the pregnancy. She has always been an alien looking monstrosity. I guess with Aaron Spelling’s genes, the bitch never had a chance.

  10. SachaSunshine

    While her body may be telling her what it needs and wants to eat, apparently her hair has become mute. Because it should be telling her its dry and brittle as hell.

    (BTW, 25 lbs is safe and normal in a pregnancy. And she does have about a month to go where she will probably put on about 5-10 pounds)

  11. Trover

    She still likes like a fish. No the FISH. Flounder from the Little Mermaid, to be exact.

  12. ACriminalSmile

    25 – 35 lbs is normal weight gain for pregnancy. Look it up before you accuse a woman of starving her unborn child.

  13. Ginger

    Tori Spelling can eat whatever she wants–her face is still fucking ugly. I am 7 months pregnant and eating what my body tells me to eat, too, and trust me–that alone doesn’t keep you looking good in a bikini.

  14. Whatev

    That’s the perfect amount of weight gain just so you know.

  15. Ted from LA

    WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THIS PERSON OR HER PREGNANCY?

  16. Ted from LA

    I hope the room was dimly lit at the moment of conception.

  17. Quinn

    always has been and always will be the ugliest celeb.

  18. GUT THIS WHORE ALREADY

    she’s going to birth a mini-horse

  19. ambidextroushandjob

    Vapid. Crass. Bimbo.

    As most posters say, 25-35 lbs is normal weight gain (think about it, the baby usually weighs under 10 lbs – the rest is amniotic fluid, placenta and other stuff you don’t wanna know about, and it doesn’t weigh over 20 lbs, either). But because she’s so fucking smug about it I want it not to be true about as much as I want her ass to balloon out, along with about 5 to 6 chins.. Her scumbucket husband bailed on his first wife when they were in the middle of adopting a child. They deserve each other, but they don’t deserve publicity, attention or a TV show.

  20. WTB

    I guess the central concern is: Does she look more like a flounder, or a moose? Or a chihuahua? Or one of those midget-ponies? Or some sort of unholy incarnation of all four? And as such, what sort of abomination will she birth, considering the father is that leathery-elfish faced weirdo she’s married to?

  21. son

    Holy fuck do something with that hair…

  22. yo

    take that vile mess down. no one wants to look at that.

  23. hey. with my daughter i gained only 20 lbs. n with my son i gained 90 lbs! i had my son first n so with my daughter i tryed to stay away from salt n fatty foods. n i am pregnant now n i am 5 months n gained 16 lbs so far.

  24. RENEE

    Why does her belly look kind of caved in in the middle, by her bellybutton; is that normal? Either way, she is one of the ugliest celebs out there. Definetly too much plastic surgery , and of course the bad genes. I just can’t help feeling that her husband & her don’t deserve to be happy; considering the way they screwed over so many other people when they got together (he was married, she was married, he had kids (an adoption ON THE WAY; ridiculous). One day they’ll get what they deserve. I predict either her husband will totally screw her over & cheat/dump her ass, or he’ll hang in there til the bitter end because of the big money involved.

  25. PettyPape

    #11- Hilarious!

  26. hey. with my daughter i gained only 20 lbs. n with my son i gained 90 lbs! i had my son first n so with my daughter i tryed to stay away from salt n fatty foods. n i am pregnant now n i am 5 months n gained 16 lbs so far. every pregnancy is diff. n not only that it is easier to give birth the less u weigh…..i know! lol i was in labor for 26 hours with my son n only 5 hours with my daughter….tori looks great!!!

  27. jesus wept

    #24 n 27 Shut the fuck up n stuff, k?

  28. pia

    hiacks!!

    whats up with this girl?
    why anyone around her tell her that SHE IS NOT SEXY even if she married brad pitt, she would have non horse face`s babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  29. Erica

    #29. This woman NEVER married Brad Pitter. What the shit are you talking about? I’ll go enjoy some ‘Lil Wayne now. Lollipop, I think. :)

  30. Erica

    #30. Brad Pitter. What the..ahaha. Pitt, I mean.

  31. bob

    It’s scary how little people seem to know about pregnancy. I guess they don’t teach the life cycle of a baby in school anymore.

  32. Fake nose, hair, boobs

    Yeah she is ugly. But what do you expect what with her being a – - – ?

  33. I’m really sick of all the nearly naked pregnant lady photos…….onward already.

  34. Ted from LA

    I heard she is booked to Storm Cat next.

  35. Your Dad

    She’s sexy! But what I really want is to lick her asscrack after the point where all the pressure from the pregnancy turns her anus inside out, just like her bellybutton. (look it up, boys, it’s true)

  36. Randal

    WOW!

    Of course she’s loving her body, who wouldn’t? She looks great but more importantly, she looks healthy! Check out those natural and voluptuous curves.

    I like that she’s still around, even well after 90210 has ended. Who can ever forget the first time we saw Donna in a white jumpsuit with black poka dots and an orange belt, along with the hat, to match.

    Have a wonderful child Tori!

    Randal

  37. Just wondering

    Hey Randal–

    Since when do u care about “natural and voluptuous curves”? I was under the impression u were “light in the loafers”.

    Just Wondering

  38. Ted from LA

    Randal is the man. Leave him alone.

  39. justsaying

    #38 Testicles have natural and voluptuous curves – and also bulge like she does. No wonder Randal is rapturous.

  40. humpin frog

    Can I shut it off with the on/off button? She’s lookin at me weird again!

  41. If you erased the names from all the comments, you’d still know – instantly – which ones were Randal’s. He’s definitely the man.

    (ok, you’d also know which ones were Binky’s…mostly because of headache onset…)

  42. Squeeky Clean Ript

    Remember Episode #284? The one where Donna caught Dylan fucking Brenda in the ass in a bathroom stall at the Peach Pit? That was my favorite, thanks for the memories man.

  43. Chek

    That is one hideously ugly woman. Face like a male burn victim, and could she has more mole-covered skin? Doubtful. She is gagworthy.

  44. Juaqin Ingles

    25-35lbs. is perfect. Most women just put on 80+ lbs. because they’re disgusting pigs with an excuse to eat whatever’s in front of them.

  45. don't recycle

    Best Candidate To Wear A Burqua 2008.

  46. Ted Williams

    Is 25lbs too little for a pregnancy? Neigh I say, neigh.

  47. shanijo

    Uhhhhh, that’s not what I wanted to see here. I’d rather see her disgusting husband’s hairy ass than her face. And…25 pounds…..who the hell cares? I gained 23 pounds total with my son. Woo-friggin’-hoo. I never let anyone take nearly naked pictures of me. But seriously, if I have a say in what she looks like….I’d say a horse mated with a fish (maybe Flounder) and that’s what came of it. Yum…..YUM.

  48. shanijo

    Oh, and I’m blind!!!! Blind from the over-processed hair and bright white skin!!! BLIND NOW…and I prolly would have gone blind from clawing my own eyes out…….

  49. G

    what a lovely hot mom.

  50. midnite_toker

    My mom didn’t even gain 15 lbs with me. She’s OCD and when she got a high-protein pregnancy diet from her OB she adhered to it strictly, and there’s nobody more strict than OCDs. And she left the hospital wearing the suit she got married in. I tell her she was lucky she wasn’t knifed in the parking lot by all the other moms.
    So, like, fuck you, Tori.

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