Tori Spelling should never do this again – ever

October 1st, 2007 // 113 Comments

Tori Spelling got to be a Pussycat Doll over the weekend. What in the hell, God? We’ve talked about this before. This is not funny – at all. You think it’s cool to blind people, but, newsflash, it ain’t. Honestly, man, cut this shit out. If I see something like this again, I’ll totally come up there. You might’ve given me these Herculean biceps, but so help me, uh, you, I’m not afraid to smack you around a bit. Aw, okay, that was a bit harsh. You can stop crying. Seriously, it’s okay. All I’m asking is that you put a burlap sack over Tori Spelling’s face whenever she’s out in public. Is that too much to ask? Oh, you can remember to do that if I can remember to take you shopping every once in a while? It never ends with you does it?

Images: Splash

  1. NannyNannyBooBoo

    Joan Rivers?

  2. Missystar

    #67–you rock!! So funny!

  3. scorn

    She looks just like Janice, the female muppet with the big lips from “Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.”

  4. FromOutOfNoWhere


  5. Shannon

    Be nice, I don’t think she is that ugly! : /


    I think Dean McDermott is Tori’s attempt to “center the eyes” of her offspring and eliminate the “chicken leg cheekbones” readily seen on her face. Her eyes are going toward the side of her head like a fish. Dean’s eyes are like their trying to meet up in the center. His cheek bones recede yet his jowls are all pouchy like a chipmunk. Maybe she is trying to correct the faces of her future children by making spawning with this dude.

  7. Smush

    The plastic surgery seems to have worked on her figure, but not her face. Try as she might, she just can’t seem to get the ugly out of there. Genetics, girl, genetics. You can only do so much. Oh yeh, and nice Duck/Jenna J. lips.

  8. Chocolate Donut

    Captain Ahab, methinks I spots the great Moby Dick over the starboard side. IS she like a combination of the Skipper from Gilligan’s Island after he fell into the deep fryer at Sea Galley? I’ve seen lobsters with better skintone. The audience looks real entertained….NOT


    It’s so hard not to spew your drink while you’re laughing at the ridiculousness of her face. Her face in that pic personifies how it feels just before you start to spray your puke and pee at the same time.

  10. iren33

    A tranny.

  11. steve

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. ally

    She got her post-baby figure back. Why do people always mess with plastic surgery in the first place. It didn’t enhance any of her facial features, just made her look more like a horse or tranny. She looked better when she was Mrs. Charlie Shanian.

  13. Jenna

    what a disgustingly ugly person… UGH, i will never understand how anyone can sleep with her…. she’s so fucking ugly with her fake boobs and nasty looking body

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