If you’re in LA this weekend swing by Tori Spelling’s yard sale and buy up all her useless junk. The official listing describes it as:
Tori invites you into her house to shop her dazzling valley home, jewelry & closets contents sale. This represents much of her last 15 years of buying & collecting. Included are antique & vintage items from the 19th, 20th, & 21st centuries! French, Italian, Continental, American white wicker, shabby chic, and traditional furniture, crystal chandeliers & sconces, pictures & paintings, lamps, vanity, Tori’s personal jewelry, bric-a-brac, memorabilia, garden & patio, designer & casual clothes, shoes, accessories, photos, etc.
Although a more accurate description might be: “Buy Tori’s crap so she can eat!” See, I even used an exclamation mark. To show the excitement. That she might get to eat. And sentence fragments? Me. The king of.
Ugh. So ugly…….
She’s a new one on me.
She looks pregnant… is she? o_0
oh 4th bitches!1 yea she’s pregnant
#3 – No no, I just believe we need a little ice cream to go with all that jelly.
She’s having a garage sale. Appropriate, since she bought all the stuff at garage sales.
http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com
She looks sad – so sad. Maybe she’s afraid Dean is going to run off on her the way he did with his first wife.
Oh, and saggy boobs.
I wish I had tits like that. Wait, I can have tits like that? For $500? From Mexico? Sweet!
This is the opposite of classy
guess she really didn’t get dick from her dad’s will. Don’t fuck with Candy Spelling!
Yeah, she should probably sell some of her fugly cream she uses…on second thought she should have had this sale right before Holloween! – http://hollywoodsnark.com
She has some enourmous implants! They remind me of the ones that Chynna and Stephanie McMahon got (seriously low hanging fruits) in the days of their “fame”.
Too bad for Tori that her career isn’t as big as her cans. Good for the rest of us though.
Why do her eyes look like they go down the sides of her face, instead of across to her temples? Is she melting?
I guess there is no plastic surgery for eyes that are set w a a a y y too far apart?
I thought pregnant chicks “glowed” naturally- she took a fucking bath in glitter.
Her boobs are big and veiny. Its gonna suck when all the milk is gone and there are nothing but stretch marks left.
wow.. I just finished furiously masturbating to miss 30something.. look at her tits.. they are just crying out to be fucked. I also like the belly she has going on.. mmm.. nice cushion effect.. you go girl!
She’s selling the garden and patio? You’d need a big U-Haul to take them home. And her vanity. If only Lindsay and Paris were looking to unload theirs as well.
Not sure I like the boobs. Her implants need implants.
i’ve been waiting so patiently for the big end of the year tranny sale. she disgusts me. with every passing day i grow more convinced she has a giant hairy penis.
she’s totally going to give birth to a little RuPaul
Why is she doing this?
Oh man! I really suddenly wish I lived in LA. Does ANYONE out there live in LA? Please go. Please please go and come back and tell us all if she was there, her very own self, making change from a little tin cash box on a folding table on the front yard. PLEASE?
I have the feeling all of her stuff is really pink and garrish.
I really hope she is not selling her bras because her tits look more sorry than Michael Jackson after he got caught touching little boys…
As if it wasn’t bad enough that you can be a gajillionaire’s daughter and still look like a cross between shrek and a retarded baboon. Now, in addition to having the ugliest boobs and no personality, she’s broke too! Oh the humanity!
If you’re going to put your rack on public display like that, you’re open for criticism.
1) Disgusting, highly visible veins
2) Cavernous gap between the breasts
3) Grotesque red zit-like thing on the right breast
4) Saggy, Saggy, Saggy
5) Repulsive object placed approximately 6-8 inches above them (oh, that’s her face…)
Hey Tori, why the long face?
What a shame… this may be the best, sexiest, and most fuckable I’ve ever seen her look, and she still looks worse than my unflushed toilet after splattery attack of the runs as the result of the stomach flu. She is one hideous, veiny-titted, corky looking bitch.
She got totally screwed.
http://www.scandalsnappers.com/
I practically threw up my breakfast. I’m sorry, but Tori’s breasts literally look like cow udders, only longer and more column-shaped. Weird how someone with a horse face has cow udders.
Hey – did you guys ever hear of “pony play”? See below. I think Tori’s husband is into that shit and that’s why he married her. His very own horse/pony!!
Pony play
Dean’s M.O. typically involves dumping the wife shortly after the baby arrives, so I’d say tranny Tori’s days are numbered.
I want to fuck her moles, not her, just her moles……….
Who cares if she has bad skin and a malformed face? She has on body glitter. BODY GLITTER PEOPLE!
Will she selling her old implants?
http://www.celebslam.com
Pony play, weird, why would that turn anybody on…What about “blumpkin”? Anybody know what that’s all about? Last night my husband asked me if I would ever consider trying it and I had no idea what he was talking about…
jrz – This comes from the Urban Dictionary website:
“To receive fellatio whist defecating. Highly acclaimed for involving two of the most pleasurable bodily release events simultaneously, but very difficult to accomplish. Also called a blumpy.
Also see reverse blumpkin, brother blumpkin, reverse brother blumpkin, and the most dangerous variation of all, the cunnilumpkin.”
Hopefully, your old man is like Lindsay Lohan and his crap doesn’t stink!!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=blumpkin
I really just want to know why women are wearing those skirts where the waist is directly under the breasts. It makes them look pregnant.
I know it’s not trendy to be pregnant; that is last year’s news. This year is all about adopting foreign babies. And even THAT can’t last much longer.
2007 = clones of foreign crack babies.
No WONDER Tori’s Mother is pissed.
There is NOBODY more pissed off than a gold digger whos husband actually lives long enough so that your own looks are gone.
She’s so tacky I suspect she’ll have a wide range of gently used dildos and vibrators, maybe even autograph ‘em for an extra $20.00
I don’t care if she eats. I just want her to buy a bra so those things aren’t sagging like a crack house.
It’s really sad, even after all that surgery she did during the 90210, all those nose jobs and eye jobs or whatever she did, she still looks like a car ran over her face. i don’t know how that dude she’s with can look at her face for more than a couple of minutes without throwing up in her face. maybe he does, and maybe she likes it
yeah, um, I live here, and I live about 3 mins away from her so THANKS FOR THE TRAFFIC PEOPLE, as if Laurel Cyn needed another reason to fuck up traffic.
My best friend’s sis is her best friend and she already gotten some cute ass stuff from her so make fun all you want but if you like collecting, it’s a good place to go :)
http://www.thespinzone.com
Behold… Goldfish googly-eyes Tori. Her kid’s eyes will be askew as well, because McDermot’s are as close-set as a shrew’s.
Alas, I dare say there is NOTHING salvageable on this girl’s entire person, save perhaps the eyeballs.
… But if I lived close enough, I’d brave the throngs of thrill-seekers to simply get a chance to stroke one of her cast-offs; namely, a satin, silicone-stained brassiere.
Just jokin’. She is hideous.
Tori is actually a really nice person, so I am sorry that this is happening to her as it would be so much better to see it happen to Paris.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
I wonder if Tori’s garage sale will be like mine was. Do you think people will come up to her constantly saying “Will you take 50 cents for this?” Will she be using a Maxwell House can to hold the change? Or maybe she will use flourescent poster boards throughout the neighborhood with arrows showing the way to the house. Or how about selling bottled water out of a cooler for 1.00 each? See if she knew me i could give her all kinds of marketing tips….
Dibs on the Swarovski crystal pooper scooper. Bought for Mimi Larue by Grandma Candy before Tori’s shenangins ripped the family apart.
So, shes had all this plastic surgery and she looks like ass. What did she look like before? Cause I thought plastic surgery generally made you look better. I bet she had a tail. Sticking out of her forehead.
Is anyone else wondering about the “antique and vintage items” from the 21st century?
Guys… making fun of her is not nice.
Didn’t you know she has a small colony of refugees living in each of those cavernous nostrils? And that they are currently at WAR with each other? Hence the severely malformed face. Take some time to learn the facts before you criticize.
http://www.papparelli.com/
That fugly nose job is in need of a serious re-do…just look at that close-up..the stuff of nightmares.