Tori Spelling is single, fellahs. Come and get ‘er!

Tori_Single.jpg(Oh, I’m sorry. Did that headline make you throw up in your mouth a little?)

“Actress” Tori Spelling, daughter of billionaire producer Aaron Spelling, and her filthy non-billionaire husband Charlie Shanian have reportedly split after a year of marriage.

From what I understand, it seems pretty clear that every time Spelling’s husband looked at her, he saw a giant talking bag of money. So I’m going to go ahead and assume that he’s finally become suspicious of how a bag of money could drink so much booze and have given him herpes. Because last I checked, money should buy happiness, not cold sores on your man-junk.